


The Room Where It Happens

by iinfiniteskies, Way_Out_There



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Bad Paraphrasing of Hamilton Songs, Dealing with Homophobia, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, High School AU, King George is a Dick, M/M, Student Council Nerd Alert, enjoy this fucking mess, im scared for act 2, it's ok it will all be fine, just take it, lots of cameo historical figures, probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-30
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2018-08-28 01:08:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 44
Words: 71,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8424691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iinfiniteskies/pseuds/iinfiniteskies, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Way_Out_There/pseuds/Way_Out_There
Summary: New student Alexander Hamilton wants to revolutionize Continental High School in any way that he can...and possibly get with John Laurens along the way. Or, a high school AU. Because we always need more of those.Updates Friday nights.





	1. Prologue: Student Council Battle #245

“The meeting will come to order—” 

“The meeting will come to order!” 

“Um, I just said that.” 

“No! _I_ say the meeting will come to order--” 

Thomas Jefferson and Aaron Burr glared at each other. Burr’s hands were flat on the desk in front of him, while Jefferson’s were clenched by his side. The entire student council watched them, most with mildly horrified expressions on their faces. A few, like Lafayette, looked mildly amused. Peggy Schulyer was the only one that looked excited. 

Jefferson was the one who broke the silence. “Fuck off, Burr.” 

“Ex _cuse_ me?” 

“I said, fuck off, Burr.” 

“Jesus, Jefferson, we can settle this without throwing damn cuss words into this. We’re better than that.” 

“Then you need to stop being a power-hungry, fear-inducing, grade-mongering—” 

Burr’s eyes were narrowed so much that they were practically slits. “Do you want to settle this outside?” 

Jefferson snorted. “If you’d just admit that I get to call the meeting to order—” 

“No! I do!” 

Hercules Mulligan let out a bark of laughter, before clamping his mouth shut, but it was too late. Lafayette threw his head back and let out a long laugh, spurring the rest of the student council into a fit of giggles. 

Alexander Hamilton smiled as he looked down at his papers. There wasn’t much that made him very happy anymore, but Burr and Jefferson arguing over stupid things could always do it. Still, they had a lot to get through...and they were wasting time. 

Burr and Jefferson were throwing glares all around the room now. “This is important!” Burr said to the room at large. 

“Dude, it’s calling the meeting to order,” Mulligan pointed out. “Calm down.” 

“Oh, and you’re so important, Mr. Vice Party Planner,” Jefferson snapped. “Why are you even here?” 

“No need to go throwing insults,” Eliza Schulyer said dryly. 

“Well, none of you idiots are taking this seriously!” Jefferson said. “So if I have to point out the obvious to get you to understand how important this is—” 

Sybil Ludington snorted. Burr and Jefferson focused their glares on her. Burr pointed to the door. “Sybil, get out.” 

“Well, geez. No need to get all bent out of shape.” 

“Would you guys all shut up?” Jefferson yelled. “We need to face the fact that Adams is a fucking awful president! Let’s just impeach him, or something!” 

Peggy groaned. “We are a _student council,_ Thomas. We have no power.” 

“We fought to prove otherwise last year, Miss Schuyler,” Burr pointed out. 

Peggy smirked, gesturing to two of her sisters, who were also in the room. “Which one?” 

“Everyone shut up!” 

The room fell silent at the voice of Angelica Schulyer, who had finally stood up from her seat. 

“We have things that need to be done! And we’re not going to get anywhere by arguing! Now, I think that we actually had a schedule for today. Jefferson, our dear secretary, why don’t you _read it?”_

“Right as always, Angie.” 

“Don’t—” 

Burr clapped his hands. “The meeting will come to order.” 

Jefferson turned around in one quick movement and shoved him. 

And of course Jefferson shoved him into the row of desks behind him that contained the non-class representatives. The five people there jumped up, grabbing their papers, but not before one of the desks had fallen over. Papers fluttered to the ground, before getting caught in the wind of the fan on the ground. 

“Fuck,” Alexander muttered. 

“Why, you—” Burr made as if to shove Jefferson, but caught himself. 

“What, too much of a coward?” 

“Jefferson, I swear—” 

“Come at me, bro!” It could have been funny, except that Jefferson said it in a completely serious way, and the two seniors hated each other, and the papers were still flying around the room, caught between the two fans...the room was in complete chaos. 

And Burr definitely took Jefferson seriously. He tackled Jefferson, knocking him to the ground. Alex stood, mesmerized by the chaos in front of him. Papers were flying around the room, a desk on the ground, Burr and Jefferson acting like they wanted to kill each other, Eliza wildly moving back and forth as if she wanted to do something but didn’t quite know what. 

The two seniors went rolling on the floor, pummeling each other. Alexander heard a yell from James Madison: “Guys, stop!” and one from Angelica: “What the fuck! Stop it, you morons!” 

The door was yanked open. Mr. Washington stood there. 

“Fuck,” Alexander heard Lafayette say. 

“What is going on here?!” 

The principal of Continental High School had a dark expression on his face. Alex’s heart dropped into his stomach. He _hated_ it when Mr. Washington was mad at them. It was terrifying. It made Alex hate himself. 

“I leave for _fifteen minutes_ and I come back to—to _this?!”_

“Sorry, Mr. Washington,” Burr said. 

“Aaron, I expected more out of you! And _none_ of the rest of you stopped this? You’re supposed to be the pride of Continental High! And yet you can’t stop yourself from destroying the space we’ve been given?!” 

“Sorry, Mr. Washington,” the council chorused, all of them looking down. Angelica shot glares at Burr and Jefferson. 

“You’re dismissed for the day. I want you to think about what you’ve done.” 

Mr. Washington walked back out, the door hanging open behind him.


	2. And If It Isn't Aaron Burr

#### 1 Year Earlier

The whirring of the fan above him was too distracting than it had any right to be. Alexander Hamilton was fine with loud noises, but he had been sitting in the office for far too long, and the fan was much too abrasive on the ears for the circumstances.  


He tried to counter it by tapping his feed, clad in new Converse shoes, on the linoleum floor of the office. It was a familiar tradition for him: a single new item of clothing for every new school he went to.  


_Hopefully this one lasts—Goddamn, why is the fan so loud?!_  


Alex tried to focus on the strange, vibrant colors of the leaves on the trees outside. He tried to focus on how amazing it was that he was finally here. He had been shuttled around various foster homes around the Caribbean for the majority of his life, no homes lasting more than a month before he was uprooted and dropped into the next one.  


Now, finally, he had been transferred to a home in America—New York state, to be specific. A little podunk town, such a far cry from the glitz and glamour of its famous neighboring city that it may as well have been forty-five hours away from it, not forty-five minutes.  


Yonkers. Alex wanted to let out a derisive laugh out loud as he remembered the town’s name. Who in their right mind named a town Yonkers, of all things? That took a special kind of stupid.  


He flinched as the door suddenly opened. A woman opened up the door to the school counselor’s office. “Mr. Hamilton? We’re ready for you.” She held open the door as Hamilton gathered up his belongings and made his way over to the office.“We’re so glad that you’re here. I’m Mrs. Warren.”  


She sat back down behind a desk piled with papers and smiled warmly at Alex. He sat down warily in one of the wooden chairs in front of her desk and observed the room. It was dark, with one window half-covered by curtains and a small lamp on the desk. A calendar on the wall had neat Xs on it, crossing off every day up to the second Wednesday in October. There was a small potted plant one corner of the room and two filing cabinets in the other. And—there was another teenager sitting in the chair to Hamilton’s right.  


“We’ll be discussing your classes, Mr. Hamilton. Here you are.” Alex accepted a schedule from her, looking down it. It was block scheduled, something that he had experienced two schools before this one. Manageable.  


“I see you’ve registered for Algebra 2, French, AP US History, AP English—” Hamilton noticed the other teen’s head jerk forward a bit. “Chemistry, PE, and Theater.” Mrs. Warren flashed a 1000-watt smile at him, “That sound about right?”  


“Actually, as great as that sounds, I was wondering if I could do the Student Council elective?” Alex had been on the Student Council in Nevis, and he had enjoyed it. 

Mrs. Warren shook her head. “I’m sorry, but we have that as an extracurricular here. I’m not completely sure about how it works, but I’m sure that Mr. Burr can explain it to you. Anything else?  


“I don’t think so! I mean, I didn’t actually sign up for anything when they transferred me from my last school, and I think that Caribbean schools are pretty different and all, but those classes sound like fun, at least!”  


The other guy in the room had a resigned look on his face. Alexander flashed him a grin.  


Mrs. Warren, though, still had a friendly smile. “Marvelous. You can alway come in to talk to me about any schedule changes you may need. I’ll actually be one of your teachers, as I’m in charge of the theater department.”  


“Really? That sounds great! But complicated, since you’re the counselor, too? I don’t know, I guess. Is it?”  


“Not at all. Now, I’m sorry to cut this conversation off, but I assume you haven’t had a chance to look around the school yet?”  


Hamilton shook his head, hair swinging in front of his face. _I need to get something to hold it back, don’t I...I’ll deal with it later._  


“That’s fine, no need to worry. I brought in our own Student Council rep to show you around to all your classes today. Hamilton, meet Aaron Burr.”  


Aaron Burr grimaced in Alex’s general direction.  


“Awesome. Wonderful. But you know, I think I’ll be able to find my way on my own—I did print out a map and I could ask around. I’ll be fine, really, just point me in the direction of room 108 and I’ll be fine.”  


Mrs. Warren nodded. “That’s great, but I think it will be useful for you to have someone show you around, at least for your first day. First period starts in ten minutes, gentlemen, be on your way.”  


_This school is awesome!_ But Aaron was out of the room quickly, lingering for a moment at the door as Alex scrambled to grab his backpack and follow him. Alex walked down the hall with Aaron, whose strides were long and purposeful.  


“Look, I think we both know that I don’t need you to show me around or anything, and we both know you don’t want to.” He glanced at the schedule Burr had in his hand, “I mean, you’re taking AP Calculus _and_ Criminal Law. You probably don’t need me tagging along, do you?”  


“How...how did you know I was in those classes?”  


“Oh, I saw your schedule. That’s pretty cool! Criminal Law is a senior-level class, right? How’d you take it? What classes did you take last year? And do you think I could take it next year? I mean, I’ve never taken anything as fancy-sounding as that, but still.”  


Burr’s face was impassive. “Talk less.”  


“What?”  


Aaron just shook his head.  


He walked down the hall and Alex hurried after him. “So, my first class is Algebra 2 in 108. Where is that?” Aaron took a sharp left down another hallway and Hamilton almost tripped following after him, “Great, okay, you don’t want to talk. That’s fine. I can talk. Less. I mean, I can talk less.” Alex bit his tongue to keep himself from talking more.  


There were a few beats of silence as they continued down the hall. Burr let out a sigh of relief, but—“So what grade are you? Senior? I looked at the classes before school today and Calc and Criminal Law are both senior-level courses, so I was just wondering. I kind of thought Mrs. Warren would put me with another sophomore, but I guess no sophomore wanted to, so now I’m following around a senior for the day? But it’s all cool!”  


Burr blinked. “I’m a junior.”  


Hamilton’s eyes widened, “And you’re taking Criminal Law? That’s so cool, dude, how’d you do it? Did you pretend to be a senior and now they can’t change it? Cause that’s some next-level shit.”  


“It was my parents’ last wish for me before they passed.”  


“What? That you take Criminal Law? Or graduate early or something? That’s pretty cool—I’m an orphan too, isn’t that funny? My parents only died, or left, or whatever, a few years ago, though, so I guess you’ve got it harder? I don’t know, man.”  


Burr had stopped walking. _Oh, shit. What did I say?_ “Sorry! That was probably rude! I mean, I’m really sorry—”  


“Room 108.” Burr’s face was carefully blank. “Mrs. Hart is nice. You’ll like her. But remember what I said.”  


“Um, thanks, dude! See you in a bit!” Alex hesitated for a moment, before reminding himself that he couldn’t waste any time. _Delays just drag me down._ He pushed open the door the classroom and walked in, leaving Burr standing alone out in the hall. _I’ll deal with it later. It’ll all work out._  


Mrs. Hart’s math class was fine. Definitely more advanced than anything he had learned before, but Alex thought that he could at least keep up with it. She was nice, and he had no doubts that she would want to help him if he admitted to needing it. Not that he would.  


About an hour and a half later, Hamilton stood in the hall waiting for Burr. Despite his claims that he could find his way around without Burr’s help, he was forced to admit that maybe he did need the junior’s assistance after all. Maybe.  


After five minutes of standing out there, waiting, Hamilton started to consider the possibility that Burr just wasn’t coming to bring him to his next class. That was fine. Totally fine. He shuffled around the papers in his binder until he found the map of the school. He was in room 108, his next class was in room 234—which was on the other side of the school. _Shit._  


_It’s fine,_ he told himself. _I’m new, I just got lost. It’s a great excuse. Not even an excuse, really, since it's true._ Stuffing the map back into his backpack, he hurried off to French.  


French was easy. Hamilton had grown up speaking Creole French, which was pretty different from the formal French that was being taught, but still similar enough that Hamilton could spot an easy A in his future. Mrs. Cochran-Corbin, the teacher, was a no-nonsense kind of woman who had smiled a total of zero times while he had been there. AP US History had been interesting, to say the least. The teacher, Mr. Washington, was clever and witty, and his classmates seemed like decent people.  


His lunch took place during the third period of that day. Due to the block scheduling, he’d have just one class after lunch. He easily found the cafeteria, located centrally in the school at the base of the main staircase. Still, as Alex entered the cafeteria, his confidence began to crumble. There cafeteria was packed. Centennial—Central—Continental!—High School had around 1000 people, so there were probably over 300 in the cafeteria. And they had probably all known each other for years and years. Alex was used to going to new schools, but they were always miserable places full of other foster children like him, in small, out-of-the-way places. Nevis Preparatory, his last school, had only had around 200 people.  


Alex stood awkwardly at the entrance and tried to figure out what to do. He could leave campus for lunch, but he was pretty sure that was only for upperclassmen. He could try to slide into some random group, he could eat in the bathroom like the sad, friendless people in teen dramas, or he could find Aaron.  


_Find Aaron._ That seemed to be the best option. Alex cast his eyes around the cafeteria, trying to find his telltale shaved head and scowl.  


A hand clamped itself onto his shoulder. Alex stiffened, then slowly turned around to see the junior standing behind him. “Aaron!” he said happily. “I didn’t see you after my other classes, so I went myself, so that’s all cool. I think I can manage for the afternoon, if you don’t want to show me around!”  


“Burr.”  


“What?”  


“We go by last names around here.”  


“Why?” Alex winced. “I mean, that sounded kinda rude, so, like, cool! That sounds like a good way to do it. But why?”  


“Just what we do around here.”  


“Awesome! Can I sit with you?”  


“I don’t normally eat lunch.”  


“Don’t you get hungry?”  


Burr rolled his eyes. “I’ll buy you a drink, Hamilton.”  


“Like, a _drink_ drink?”  


“This is a high school. Show some sense.”  


“Of course, but I don’t know, maybe you’re part of the underground ring of badass bootleggers that secretly control the school.”  


Aaron—well, Burr—just sighed. “Come on.”  


The two boys got in the lunch line. Burr picked up two Cokes, sliding them to the cash register. “How are your teachers?”  


“Fine. I really like them all, actually! They seem pretty cool. I’m kinda glad that we get to have them for all four years—that’s right, right?”  


Alex stared at Burr as if expecting him to answer. Burr sighed. “Right.”  


“Did you have them when you were—”  


“Hey, look! There’s Lafayette!” Burr’s tone was much too excited for the circumstances, and even Alex could tell that it was fake.  


“Who?”  


“Lafayette.” Burr pushed him in the general direction of the table that Gilbert du Motier was sitting at, along with Hercules Mulligan and John Laurens. Alex gulped as he saw the three of them. They were sitting close together, looking as if they had been friends since birth. All three of the boys looked up as Burr called to Lafayette, ceasing their conversation. One of them looked like a body-builder, and his expression was less than friendly. “Lafayette. This is Hamilton. He’s new.”  


“Newbie?” the big, intimidating one asked.  


“Yup! That’s me!” Alex did jazz hands. “And you are…”  


Two of the boys at the table just raised their eyebrows, but the third, smallest one held out his hand and wow he was adorable and—  


Alex blinked, remembering to hold out his hand and hoping that he wasn’t blushing too much because that would be creepy and geez, he wanted this guy to like him.  


_What the fuck?! I’m a fucking weirdo._  


“John Laurens,” the really-fucking-gorgeous boy said. Hamilton took his hand, which was surprisingly soft, and shook it. “And if you like Sprite, we can be best friends forever.”  


Sprite wasn’t quite Alex’s thing, but that didn’t really matter anymore. “Glad to meet you, then.”  


The guy with really curly hair and a manic smile groaned, putting his head on the table. “He’s on his third Sprite already.”  


“Don’t mess with me,” Laurens jokingly warned, giving the curly-haired guy a punch that was more of a tap. Alex’s heart fell. _Is something going on between them? Jesus, why do I care? God, I’m a creep._  


_“Je m'appelle Lafayette_ ,” curly-hair introduced himself.  


_“Ravi de vous rencontrer_ ,” Hamilton said, surprised and happy to find another French-speaker.  


Lafayette grinned, too. “Nice to meet another one of us.” His voice had a thick French accent, and suddenly, Alex didn’t feel so alone.  


“Hercules Mulligan,” the buff guy introduced himself. “And I’m the least creepy out of these idiots.”  


“He fucks horses.” Laurens interjected. Mulligan raised his glass of water as if toasting Alex, and winked.  


Alex choked on his Coke.  


“And if it isn’t Aaron Burr!” Lafayette said. “Gonna sit with us today?”  


“I have plans.”  


“Studying again?” Lafayette teased. “You should take a break. Sit with us this time. We’re thinking about the best way to piss off King so much that he quits.”  


“Then we can finally get shit done,” Mulligan added, turning to Alex. “Principal King Dickhead has been blocking every fucking idea that anyone else has. Very firm believer in nothing ever changing, ever.”  


“An asshole,” Lafayette summarised. “And he’s—”  


Laurens cut him off. “He’s a guy that needs to go. How about it, Burr?”  


“Sounds like a horrible idea,” Burr said. “I’ll see you later.”  


Laurens groaned. “God, Burr. King can only last for so long. We might as well try to get rid of him as soon as possible.”  


“Do you ever get bored not doing anything?” Alex asked before thinking better of being rude. “I mean, you just study a lot, right? Don’t you ever want to take a stand? Not like I’m saying that the principal should die or whatever, but do you actually gain anything from him staying, or…” Alex trailed off before he could continue his entire tangent of dissecting Burr’s possible motives at the look on Burr’s face.  


“Damn,” Lafayette grinned. “I like you, kid.”  


“You’re the same fucking age,” Mulligan said. “Sophomore, right?”  


Alex nodded, taking a seat. “So what’s the deal with King, anyway?”  
“Like I said, he’s an asshole. All of the fucking teachers, the whole damn student council—and they never agree on anything!—try to get things done, and King makes sure that everything stays the same,” Lafayette told him.  


Laurens nodded. “Charles Lee, the student council president, is pretty bad too. But Esther DeBerdt is the vice prez, and she’s been pushing for better elective funding, for a GSA, for more language teachers, and all of the teachers support her, and King keeps shooting her down.”  


“But why?”  


The three sophomores began talking over each other, going over every injustice that Principal King had ever carried out, every thing that King had done to hurt the people at the school. With every word, Alex got more and more angry. He didn’t like people that abused their power!  


But Burr interrupted them. “It doesn’t matter. He’s the principal. There’s no point in fighting it. We don’t have any power, anyway.”  


But Alex began to smile. “That doesn’t mean that we don’t have a chance.”  


The four boys looked at Alex, surprised.  


“No offense, but you’re kinda new here,” Mulligan pointed out. “What makes you think that you can change anything?”  


Alex shrugged. “All that I know is that I am not throwing away my shot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a long chapter! Every character mentioned is an actual historical figure, so that research was fun to do. Hope it wasn't too much of an exposition dump. Hope everyone enjoyed!


	3. But Damn, I Amaze and Astonish

Laurens considered the boy in front of him. Hamilton was around his age, but smaller than he was. Then again, Laurens was taller than almost everyone. But Hamilton had a look in his eyes that made him seem older than his age. And now he had an excited look that Laurens couldn’t help but admire. He wondered what the kid’s story was. New kids didn’t often pop up in school at the beginning of October. Hell, new kids didn’t often show up in Yonkers in general.  


_The last one was Lafayette, right?_ Laurens thought to himself. He nearly shuddered at the memory. Lafayette had just shown up in Geometry one day, taking Mulligan’s seat. Mr. Hart had been late that day, and Mulligan and Lafayette had nearly exchanged blows before the rest of the class had separated them.  


But that was a special case. _Isn’t Lafayette always a special case?_ Fuck, everything about Lafayette screamed special. Out of the ordinary. Lafayette was one of the only people at school who was out, and while he’d gotten a lot of shit for it, he acted like he didn’t care. _Mulligan was a big help too, I guess._  


Which all brought him back to Hamilton. _What’s his deal?_ Larurens wondered. From the look on Burr’s face, Hamilton had already managed to annoy Burr beyond the point of no return. _Then again, everything annoys Burr._  


And speak of the devil. “Can I give you some advice, Hamilton?” Burr said. Hamilton nodded at him. “You want to get ahead here? Stay out of trouble. Don’t be an idiot.”  


“That’s a lot of emotion,” Mulligan snorted. Burr glared at him.  


Hamilton’s eyes were still shining, and now he was talking quickly with Lafayette about something. Laurens shook himself out of his reverie to hear Hamilton’s next question: “How long will King last if we don’t get rid of him?”  


Lafayette shrugged. “George King the Second is the superintendent of the district. If he steps down, chances are that Principal Dipshit gets the spot.”  


“Good for us, right?”  


“Very, very bad,” Mulligan cut in. “He gets to apply his backward, stupid policies to the whole district.”  


“Who else could get the spot?” Hamilton asked.  


“No one of note,” Laurens replied. “There’s not many people who would be able to counter him.”  


Burr finally put in a word. “He already spends a lot of time at Island Private School. That’s why he wasn’t here this morning. He’s not our problem as much as theirs.”  


“He favors them,” objected Lafayette  


Burr raised an eyebrow. “Because they don’t give him trouble.”  


“That’s kind of a sick cycle,” Hamilton pointed out. “And what does it matter? He’s still our problem, no matter how small. It’s not our job to deal with a crappy principal as well as all the shit that comes from being in school!”  


This kid is something else. Laurens could appreciate people that weren’t afraid to show the world how much they cared about something. People unlike himself.  


“I didn’t come all the way to the United States just to be told that I couldn’t do something. The whole point of the US is that you can be whatever you want! You can rise up beyond your station and become something important. How are we gonna do that in life if we can’t even stand up to a high school principal?”  


“I came from France because I was told that American schools meant friendship. Socializing,” Lafayette said.  


Mulligan elbowed Lafayette. “Less homework.”  


Lafayette ignored him. “Because we’d be able to form valuable relationships and have more say in our own life! And instead, I found...this. He makes people afraid to be friends.”  


“Why?” Hamilton asked. Laurens went red immediately. He knew that Lafayette wasn’t going to hurt him in any way, but the idea of discussing King’s policies at all made him afraid.  


“He’s a homophobic asshole,” Mulligan said. “To put it lightly.”  


“He uses his power to take advantage of everyone in the school! He’s totally funnelling our funds into his own pocket!” Lafayette said.  


Laurens realized that the other three boys were looking at him as if expecting him to add on to what they were saying. Laurens just raised an eyebrow. “Last one’s a bit of a stretch, but sure.”  


“I want to live in a place where the students have control over the school,” Lafayette said. “After we do it here, I’ll bring it back to my school in France!” He gave a manic grin. “I will lead the world into anarchy, starting with Yonkers!”  


Alex wondered if Lafayette wasn’t a bit crazy, and decided that he didn’t care. “Principal King isn’t ever going to let has have a say in what happens. And this is our fucking school! We have to take control. We’re not idiotic teenagers like every adult thinks we are. We’re smart. I’m not afraid to do what we have to do to have a say in what happens with our education!”  


Mulligan ruffled Hamilton’s long hair. “I like you, kid!”  


Alex grinned up at Herc—or, Mulligan, as the tradition at the school was. It wasn’t that he was an arrogant person. But Alex knew his worth. He knew that he was smart. He had big plans for life. And he was willing to make an addition to his life schedule to be as big of a trouble to Principal King as possible. He wanted to make his new friends, or whatever they were, proud.  


But Jesus! That was his whole problem, wasn’t it? No matter what foster home or community home he was in, Alex had a need to impress whoever he was with. He was being stupid again! There was no way that a bunch of teenagers could change an entire school. They didn’t have any power! And Alex didn’t even know anything about Principal King anyway.  


But Alex was never one to turn down a challenge.  


“The student council should have more power,” Alex suggested.  


Mulligan nodded. “And the teachers.”  


Burr raised an eyebrow as Hamilton continued on his tangent, now spelling out his name to the other three grinning sophomores. Sometimes, people were truly idiots.  


Laurens put in his say. “And we’re going to make sure that everyone knows that they have a place. When I’m president of the GSA, this school is going to be a place where everyone feels safe! I swear that no one will—” Laurens cut himself off, going red. He was going to reveal too much about himself, and he barely knew Hamilton!  


Alex, however, was staring at Laurens with a— _Oh, fuck! I’m being creepy again!_ —Alex closed his mouth and grinned at Laurens. “That sounds amazing! He held out his Coke to Laurens, who bumped it with his can of Sprite.  


“You’re being too loud,” Burr said to them. “If you do this, you’re ruining your chances at succeeding in school. Stay quiet, and you double your chances.”  


“Burr, check what we’ve got! A fuck-ton of students, all royally pissed off, with a real reason to fight! We’ve got everything that we need right here to start a fucking revolution and take over the fucking world, not to mention turn this school upside down! We’ve got something to fight for! I don’t get how you think we can just avoid the problems! Show me where to sign up, and I’ll change the fucking world!”  


Alex was yelling by this point, standing up. Burr looked scandalized, but oh, geez, Laurens was watching at him, and— _he’s not even gay! Shut up, me!_ Meanwhile, all around the cafeteria, people had stopped eating just to stare at Alex. He turned bright red. “Sorry. Am I talking too loud? Sometimes I get overexcited, I know it’s a problem, but I’ll fix it if it means that I can just help you guys.”  


The cafeteria was completely silent. Burr stood up and left. “See you. Maybe.”  


“Doesn’t want to get in trouble,” Mulligan scoffed.  


“We’ve been trying to get rid of King for a while,” Laurens warned. “It’s gonna be hard.”  


“So?” Alex asked.  


Laurens grinned at him. “All that we’ve got to do is organize ourselves. You’re right, Alex. We’ve got a group of angry, annoyed kids and teachers. We’ve got to rise up.”  


“Whoo!”  


The four sophomores turned to see a boy that Alex vaguely recognized from his Algebra class. Paul Revere, or something. From all around the cafeteria, applause started, until it was almost deafening. People started talking again, many of them coming up to the table that Alex, Laurens, Mulligan, and Lafayette were sitting at.  


And of course that was the moment that Alex lost his confidence. He’d been to a lot of different schools. And he’d been expelled from quite a few of them. What if he was expelled from here, too? What if he ruined his chances at a good life in the United States by being too ambitious and impulsive in high school?  


There were too many what-ifs in life. There would always be too many what-ifs. And that’s why Alex had been taught, over and over in his life, that you had to take the moment when it offered itself up. There weren’t good and bad ideas. There was success and failure. And when you failed, you got back back up.  


He had always felt as though he had to prove his intelligence and talent in the world to everybody around him. Did he think that getting rid of Principal King would somehow make everyone respect him? Was that a stupid way to think?  


What did it matter? All Alex could do was live in the moment and just do the best he could. He had people that he felt comfortable around, people that might even turn out to be friends. He had a genuine chance to really change something for the better.  


That was all that he could ask for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is late! It's been a weird week  
> 


	4. Raise a Glass To The Four Of Us

As it turned, out, all sophomores that had 4th period lunch had a single, overstuffed English period. Since Burr was out of commission, the three other boys dragged Alex up the three flights of stairs to Mr. Knox’s English classroom. 

“He’s a good teacher,” Laurens assured Alex. “Really intense, though. And he lives by debate team.” 

“Have you had him before?”

“Last year. There’s not that many teachers at Continental High, so most teachers teach all grades.” 

“That’s cool! Sometimes, there would only be one or two teachers at my old schools, and we’d all have them. But this place is pretty awesome. It’s huge! Though I guess it’s expected, since we’re near New York fucking City. And sorry if that’s offensive, or something.” 

Laurens laughed. “It’s fine.” (His father liked to pretend that Yonkers was the center of the earth, ignoring the city that was so close to them, but Laurens’s father didn’t have the most reputable views in anything.) “So you’ve lived in a lot of places, huh?” 

“Not totally? I mean, my mom died when I was twelve, but before that we stayed in one place. But after she died, I started moving around a lot. I lived in Florida for a few months, actually.” 

Laurens knew better than to ask about Hamilton’s father. Fathers were tricky subjects. “I’m sorry about your mother.”

Hamilton shrugged. “It’s fine. I mean, not fine, but...well, I’m over it.” 

_Either emotionally stunted or psychotic,_ Laurens thought to himself. 

“You two gonna catch up, or what?” 

Without noticing it, Laurens and Hamilton had fallen behind Lafayette and Mulligan. They sped up to catch up with them. “You two are just fast walkers,” Alex complained. 

“I think that all of the waves of love between the two of you are just slowing you down,” Lafayette said dramatically, waggling his eyebrows at the two of them.  
Laurens went red. Alex just groaned. “What love?” He internally winced at how rude it sounded. 

“Mon ami, I’m French. We live and breathe love.” 

“Sounds fake as fuck,” Hamilton said before he could stop himself. “Sorry. That was mean.” 

“That was awesome,” Mulligan corrected. 

“We’re going to be late,” Laurens pointed out. 

They entered the room. Mr. Knox was already scribbling something on the board, but he turned to smile at them. “New kid?”

“Yeah.”

Mr. Knox grabbed a paper off of his desk. “Alexander Hamilton?” 

“That’s me!” Alex awkwardly gave Mr. Knox jazz hands, and immediately regretted it. 

But Mr. Knox seemed not to care. “You should join the debate team.” 

Alex had been on the debate team two school ago. They had gone head to head with the one other school in the area sixteen times, and lost fourteen of them. It had been okay, nothing great. Definitely a letdown, as Alex had always thought that debate team would be a place where he could shine. “Um, when does it meet?”

“Mondays and Wednesdays after school. Colonel Laurens will show you there.” 

Alex turned to Laurens, raising his eyebrows. “You’re in the army?”

Laurens flushed. “It’s a title. We use them on the team.” 

“So you’re a debate geek!” 

“Careful, Mr. Hamilton,” Mr. Knox warned. “I might get offended.” 

“I think it’s awesome!” Alex said. “So, can I just show up?”

“Consider yourself a member of the team, Private.”

Mulligan groaned. “Oh my god. You’re all debate nerds.” He looked both surprised and personally offended as he looked at Hamilton. “I thought that you at least would join football with me—”

“You play football?” Alex interrupted. 

Mulligan gestured to his huge, bodybuilder shape. “Duh.” 

The bell rang, and Laurens, Lafayette, and Mulligan all went to their seats. Mr. Knox gestured to a seat in the second row, next to the windows. “Next to Mr. Schuyler, please.” 

Slightly disappointed not to be with his new friends, but excited to talk with someone new, Alex took his seat. “I’m Alex Hamilton,” he introduced himself.  
The guy—Schuyler—ignored him as Mr. Knox started talking. Alex pulled out a notebook and tried to listen, a bit offended. Mulligan made eye contact with him from across the room. Alex made a face. 

Mr. Knox was obviously very into his job. He was passionate about everything that they discussed and tried to incorporate everyone into the discussion. As it turned out, the class had been reading Hamlet. Hamilton had read parts of it, but never the whole thing, and he felt alienated. He made a note to himself in blue pen on his arm to get caught up on it. 

As soon as the bell rang, Alex darted over to Laurens’s desk. Laurens was startled as he looked up to see Hamilton standing next to his desk, and a bit flattered. He felt too awkward and ungainly as he stood up, and his fingers shook as he put his notebook and copy of Hamlet into his backpack. “Ready to go?” 

“Absolutely!” Hamilton grabbed his hand, and pulled him out of the classroom. Laurens’s face went completely red, and he forced himself to calm down. He didn’t want to freak Hamilton out. Most of the people that knew his secret left him immediately. He couldn’t trust anyone. 

“Which way?” Hamilton asked him. His eyes were shining again, a huge grin on his face. _God, you’re adorable,_ Laurens thought to himself, and then mentally slapped himself as he reminded himself not to be weird. 

“We’re in 112.” 

“Why not Mr. Knox’s room?” 

“We’re supposed to stay off the top floors after school ends. They shut off the heating, AC, whatever it is. It was Mr. Washington’s idea. We don’t exactly have the money to keep everything going at full blast all the time.” 

“Smart, I guess.”

“Yeah. King did not like it, believe me. But he’s a dick.”

“What is it with this King guy?” Alex asked again. 

Laurens stopped for a moment, waiting for Lafayette and Mulligan to catch up with them. “Hamilton here wants to know about why we hate King.” 

“Once upon a time…” Lafayette started. 

Mulligan groaned. “Look, the Kings have been the power in this shitty town for the last few—Jesus, generations, I guess. They’re a very, very old family. Very rich.”  


“And this town appreciates people who have been here for a long time,” Laurens continued. “They appreciate old values. Family values.” He twisted the word around bitterly. “So the Kings have a ton of influence. George King II is the superintendent. And so King III gets to do whatever he wants.”

“Which, for the most part, is not really anything,” Lafayette complained. “Washington takes care of most of the stuff around here. King just tries to get in his way to annoy him. He’s taken most of the power away from the teachers. He wastes money on stupid stuff. And his policies...well…”

“They’re not very forward-thinking,” Laurens cut in. 

“But he can’t do much, right?” Alex asked. 

“Except for humiliate everyone. When Esther deBerdt came out a year ago, he made sure that she couldn’t win Student Council president.” 

“What the hell?!” Alex demanded. “That’s so fucking unfair! He can’t do that!” He looked at the sad faces of his friends. “Right?” 

“And yet, he does,” Lafayette said. 

“Shitty little town,” Mulligan reiterated.

“So let’s change it!” Alex’s eyes were blazing. “What, you’re just going to let this asshole ruin lives? We’re going to change it! We’re going to change this school!”  
The third floor didn’t have any lockers on it, so it was mostly empty, but a few people looked at the four sophomores, some annoyed, some curious. A guy with weird eyebrows glared at them. Two girls were looking at them, one curiously with raised eyebrows, the other with wide eyes. Alex flashed a smile at them. The taller one blushed, and they moved on. 

“Cool it, bro,” Mulligan said. 

“Get to practice, footballer.” Lafayette patted Mulligan’s shoulder—really, the only part of Mulligan that Lafayette could reach—and then gave him a small shove. Mulligan flashed him the finger before dashing off. 

“And we need to get to 112,” Lafaytte told the other two of them. “C’mon, lovebirds.” 

“Shut up!” Laurens groaned. 

Hamilton just laughed, though. “Let’s fucking revolutionize this school.” 

“Peu dramatique, Hamilton,” Lafayette said.

“I’ve never denied it.”

Together, the three sophomores made their way to debate club.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter four!! hope y'all are enjoying the story so far!


	5. Angelica, Eliza (And Peggy!)

“Alright, everybody load up.” Angelica twirled the keys around her finger as she waited for her sisters to get into the car. School had just ended, and the three Schuyler girls had too much to do and not nearly enough time. 

Eliza swung into the front seat and closed the door while Peggy dove into the backseat and lay herself across it. “Hey,” Angelica warned Peggy, who stuck her tongue out at her older sister and sat up. 

Angelica stepped into the driver's seat and started up her Cadillac. 

“Daddy said to be home by dark, you know.” Peggy reminded Angelica, popping her gum. 

“Dad doesn’t need to know.” Angelica rolled her eyes and put the car into gear. 

Peggy peered at the address Angelica was punching into the GPS app on her phone, “Dad said not to go to New York.” She chided. 

“You’re free to go.” Eliza gestured at the car door. 

Angelica had no doubts that Peggy would somehow call their father and tell him that they were going into the city just to annoy her two older sisters, but it had been too long since she, Eliza, and Peggy had all had a bonding session. Thought they had six other siblings and two other sisters, the three of them had always had a special bond. One that had fallen apart, and that could be revived now that Peggy was finally a freshman. 

“No—stay.” Angelica grabbed Peggy’s arm as she maneuvered out of the parking lot of the school. “We all need to talk.” 

“And put on your seatbelt, for Christ’s sake,” Eliza added. 

They drove down the street and onto the ramp leading up to the highway. Peggy popped her gum again and tapped her fingers on the window impatiently. “Are we there yet?” 

Angelica’s eye twitched. And it hadn’t even been five minutes in the car yet. “No.” 

“Peggy, how are your classes—” 

Peggy cut Eliza off with a loud bubble pop. “Don’t be rude,” Angelica warned her. 

Peggy rolled her eyes. “I should have gone home with Cornelia.” 

“You would have had to watch her make out with Esther,” Angelica pointed out. Their older sister Cornelia, a senior, was in an on-again, off-again relationship with Esther DeBerdt, which made it annoying to be around them. 

“I could have filmed it. Would’ve been great blackmail material.” 

“Fucking psychopath,” Angelica accused. 

Peggy giggled. 

"Fine. Get out of the car. Call Cornelia to pick up. Eliza and I will have fun out on the town." 

"No!" Peggy protested. "I'm one of you guys!" 

"I'm not sure what that means," Angelica said. 

"I mean, I still want to spend time with you! No matter how lame you are." 

"Aaaw! That's so awesome!" Eliza encircled Peggy in a hug. Peggy groaned, but didn't push her older sister off. 

The three girls sank into a comfortable silence. Angelica kept her eyes on the highway, but whenever she could, she snuck a glance at Eliza. Her younger sister had been acting strange lately, and Angelica was worried about her. 

“Did Cortlandt tell you about what happened during lunch today?” Peggy asked them, referring to Eliza’s twin brother. 

Eliza rolled her eyes. “I’m in fourth period lunch too, Peg.” 

“LOL, I forgot.” 

“Do you have to use chatspeak when we talk?” 

“Yes.” 

“So what happened?” Angelica pointedly asked, getting them back on subject. 

Peggy answered. “You know the trio of weirdos that always do everything together? There’s this new kid that’s joined them. Way too loud, but he was saying some cool stuff.” 

“That new kid—Alex—they’re going to do big things at this school. I can tell,” Eliza said. 

“There are new ideas floating around the school,” Angelica agreed. “Even if Principal Dickhead refuses to let us get anything done…” as a member of the student council, Angelica was annoyed by how Principal King ran the school. 

Peggy snorted. “And I thought that only Jefferson could get you this pissed off.” 

“Gah!” 

“New ideas in the air.” Eliza agreed, helpfully changing the subject from Thomas Jefferson. “And this Alex kid is going to make them a reality.” 

“Wait—what kind of ideas are we talking about? I feel like we’re talking about different ideas here.” Peggy paused. 

“We are talking about the same idea, Peggy!” Angelica pushed down on the gas pedal. Talking about Jefferson, or King, or about the deadlock in the student council, made her very angry. 

Peggy ignored her older sister’s obvious consternation, enjoying riling her up. “Are we talking about George King? Like how people want to get him fired?” 

Eliza answered for Angelica. “Well, yes, that, but you know how we’ve been talking about a GSA for a while now? But we’ve never had enough support? I think Alex could be the person who has the mind to sway the rest of the school.” 

Peggy rolled her eyes, “In this podunk, backwards old town? Please.” 

“But think about how revolutionary it will be the school! Think about how much it will help the closeted people in this town!” Eliza’s eyes were bright with excitement. 

Peggy shifted in her seat, “Yeah I know. I’m not trying to discourage you guys or anything, but I really don’t think it’s realistic.” 

Angelica snorted, “From what Cortlandt was saying, Alex can do anything. And besides, they’ll have our support, Mulligan, Lafayette, Laurens—and a whole bunch of other people.” 

“Yeah, and I think he’ll have more than just support from Laurens at the end of this. Did you see the way they were making gooey eyes at each other?” Peggy snickered. 

Eliza paused, “What do you mean?” 

“Alex has a crush,” Peggy singsonged. 

“You see sexual tension everywhere,” Angelica accused. 

“Ten bucks says they’ve fucked by the end of the year,” Peggy maintained. “And hey, the GSA could help with that. Eliza? You have a wager to add?” 

Eliza looked up from her lap, “Uh, no. Hey, how do you think Alex is going to get the GSA started, even? Don’t you need to be on the student council to have any say in school organizations?” 

Peggy shrugged, “The way he was acting, he’ll be president of student council by next week.” 

“Hey!” Angelica snapped. 

“Sorry. I forgot that Angie here is going to be principal by the end of the month. Our dear, infallible Angelica, the pride of the Schulyers…” 

“The only straight one…” 

“The prettiest—” 

“The wittiest—” 

“The New York City-est,” Peggy and Eliza finished together. 

Angelica rolled her eyes. “Shut up.” She might have had dreams of living in NYC, but she could do without her younger sisters constantly making fun of them. 

They parked the car a few blocks from the Museum of Modern Art, one of Angelica’s favorite places in the city, and walked the rest of the way. Dad didn’t know that they had a membership there, but they had paid for it using money they had made over the summer, so it really wasn’t his problem anyway. 

They went into the glass exhibits that day. Peggy suggested that the three of them take a glassblowing class, which Eliza agreed with and Angelica didn’t say no to. After spending an hour or two in the museum, they walked about a mile to a cafe that they liked. 

The three sisters loved being in the city. They loved the variety of people and buildings, so different from their home in Yonkers, but the chaos could get a bit intimidating sometimes. Still, the girls weren’t used to the slurs, the catcalls, and the people who seemed able to tell that they were from the richer areas outside of the city and gave them special—or worse—treatment because of it. And the disrespect of seemingly everyone that they came across in the city. That was bad to hear. 

Eliza sighed as they got to the cafe. “I just wish that people...wouldn’t.” 

“Elaborate, dear,” Peggy ordered her. 

“Stop bothering your sister,” Angelica said. Peggy made a face at her. 

“I wish that people would respect each other,” Eliza clarified. “I hate hearing insults and stuff, you know?” 

Angelica took Eliza’s hand. “And that’s why we’re going to change the world. Every one of us.” 

“The four assholes in the lunchroom,” Peggy interrupted. 

_“Us,”_ Angelica said. “We’re going to prove that all people are equal. Maybe not soon, but at some point, it’ll happen. And we’re lucky. We get to be a part of it. We get to be here, in the greatest city in the fucking world.” 

Angelica’s watch beeped. 4:00 PM. “Let’s go,” she told her sisters. 

They made their way back to the car, all of them already looking forward to next Wednesday, when they would be able to get back into the city.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so the Schulyer sisters finally come into play. Hope that the chapter was enjoyed. (Also, we love Sassy!Peggy.) See you next update!


	6. For the Revolution

“Look, I’m not saying this has to be big. We can start with posters or something.” 

“Posters?” 

“You know, posters. Tolerance ones. Like with cheesy slogans on them? ‘It’s okay to be gay.’ Shit like that.” 

It was two weeks after Alex’s first day at school, and he and Laurens were working together on a project for Debate Team that had the added bonus of extra credit in social studies. Not that they were exactly agreeing on everything, but it was fun. 

“That’s hella cheesy,” Laurens snorted, “but sure, keep going.” 

“Well, we don’t need approval to put up posters or anything, so I think it will be the first step in the right direction of tolerance here at school. It doesn’t have to start big.” Alex’s eyes were wide with excitement. 

Laurens smiled fondly, “Yeah, we’ll work on it.” Privately he didn’t think the posters would do much, but he liked to listen to Alex talk. _What the fuck?! I’m being creepy again! Stop it, John!_

Alex grinned, “Awesome!” He opened the door 112 and bounded inside, Laurens trailing behind him. He in equal parts hated and loved the way that Hamilton made his heart race and hands go sweaty. 

He 100% hated how he didn’t know if Hamilton would ever be able to reciprocate his feelings. 

“Good afternoon, soldiers.” Mr. Knox stood at the front of the classroom with a stack of paper. “We’ll start out today with some short speeches about one thing you think could be improved about this school.” 

Hamilton elbowed Laurens excitedly in the side, tugging slightly on his ponytail. Laurens had leant him one of his hair elastics. It was hard for Alex to stop blushing. 

“You have five minutes to write your speeches. Remember, you should not have begun writing these already. Begin.” Mr. Knox made his way to the front of the classroom again after passing out the sheets of paper. 

What could be improved? _Everything,_ Alex thought wryly. But for starters, a GSA. And that was the topic he filled a page and a half writing about. When the timer went off and Alex looked up, he realized that a few other teachers had filed into the room. 

“We have some guests for today,” Mr. Knox said, gesturing to Mr. Washington and Mrs. Hays. “Now, let’s bring out our first speaker. Sergeant Samuel Seabury, you have the floor.” Mr. Knox moved to sit at his desk as an unremarkable boy stood up at the front of the classroom. Seabury was one of the higher-ranking members of Debate Team, who wrote essays in an incredibly formal tone and in very short amounts of time with ease, but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t an asshole. 

Seabury grinned at the class, though his aggressively shaped eyebrows made it seem more like a smirk. Shuffling his papers imperiously, he cast his gaze around the class, eyes landing on Alex for a fraction of a second longer before beginning. 

“Personally, I do not think there is anything that needs to be changed about our wonderful school. Certain people—” his eyes flicked over Hamilton and Laurens—“would say otherwise, but I know for a fact that our school is _perfect_ the way it is. There have been whispers of a GSA.” His lip curled. “But our school does not need _that_ here. These people do not speak for me, nor do they speak for anyone. They have obviously not taken the time to do _any_ research, as it is well-known that creating such facilities for our school could result in other programs being defunded by the School Board. To talk about this without the necessary knowledge is a dangerous game to play. I know for a fact Principal King will not stand for this—this _treason!_ ” 

As his speech went on, Seabury’s ears had turned redder and redder. Hamilton’s eyebrows furrowed as Seabury continued to talk for his remaining three minutes. 

“Thank you, Sergeant Seabury for your, ah, illuminating speech. Would anyone care to respond?” Mr. Knox said pleasantly. 

Hamilton’s hand shot up. 

“Private Alexander Hamilton.” Mr. Knox smiled, “Your response?” 

Hamilton walked up to stand next to Seabury and grinned forcefully, bouncing on the balls of his feet. 

“Seabury here would have you believe there is nothing to be changed about this school and I have to—respectfully—disagree. There are people here who need a voice, a safe space to be themselves without homophobic”— _assholes_ —“people telling them what they can and can’t be. We need a GSA so people can express themselves safely.” Hamilton paused here to look at Seabury, whose face had turned a lovely shade of purple, “It’s hard to look at you with a straight face. The ideas that you’ve been recklessly spouting have no place in this century. You call what we want to do to improve this school _treason?_ Then I say that the revolution is inevitable!” 

“Do you even hear the blasphemous words pouring out of your mouth? None of your suggested ‘improvements’ have a place in our school, and we should not even discuss them!” Seabury burst out. 

“My dog speaks more eloquently than _thee._ ” Alex mocked. 

"Alexander!" someone exclaimed. 

“I pray Principal King shows you his mercy,” Seabury spat, not even changing his formal speech when Alex made fun of it. “For shame.” 

_You want to keep talking about this school like it’s a fucking_ country? _Fine!_ “For the revolution!” 

“For shame!” 

“For the revolution!” Laurens called out from his seat. 

Seabury turned back to the class, “There is nothing that needs to be changed about our school—” 

“If you repeat yourself I’m gonna scream.” 

“Our school is glorious the way it is, we don’t need a GSA.” 

“Don’t start the debate, then not finish it with me!” 

“Private Hamilton! Sergeant Seabury!” Mr. Knox stood up at his desk, “If you can’t have a civil debate about this, you will be forced to sit the rest of the session out. Hamilton, you are _not_ allowed to insult anyone personally. Please, control yourself.” 

Both Seabury and Alex deflated, glaring at each other. 

“Does anyone else have anything to add to this discussion?” 

The class was silent, students sitting in their seats with varying levels of astonishment and laughter on their faces. A few were whispering to each other, but no one spoke up. 

“Take a seat Hamilton, Seabury.” The eyes of the class followed Alex and Seabury to their respective seats. Seabury stared resolutely forward, anger obvious in his eyes. Alex was less subtle, outright glaring at him until Laurens poked him on the shoulder and whispered to him to stop. 

A few more debates went on: about the power of the student council, about redoing the gym, putting more funding into the arts program...but Alex couldn’t concentrate on them. 

He was tired of people telling him that he couldn’t do things. He’d prove them wrong. His hands balled into fists as he imagined what he should start doing to shift the balance of power. He looked at Lafayette, who was also glaring at Seabury, and at Laurens, whose hands were also fists. He felt comforted by the fact that he had friends standing behind him. 

That was when the intercom crackled on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a cliffhanger! Wait, not really. Hope that everyone enjoyed this chapter, and see you next update!


	7. To Remind You of my Love

“Helloooo dear children of this _wonderful_ school.” An unctuous voice filtered over the PA system as a few people groaned.

“Not King again,” Laurens grumbled, “He does this. All. The. Time.” His words were punctuated by him hitting his forehead on the table. 

“I’ve been hearing some _nasty_ rumors around our hallowed halls,” the voice continued, and Hamilton thought that he knew where Seabury got his way of speaking from. Why did everyone in this place act like they were still in the eighteenth century? Hamilton looked around the room. Mr. Knox looked annoyed. Mr. Washington looked like he wanted to walk out of the school and never return. 

“It looks like all of you are saying that you want... _change.”_

_Is this guy crazy?_ Alex wondered. 

“You seem to say that you don’t want my love. At least...you want my love unconditionally. But there are prices to pay, you know,” King rambled. 

“Good God, not again,” Lafayette groaned. 

“Dear me! I feel a song coming on!” 

_Oh, no._

King gave a small vocal warm-up, and then started singing. _What the hell? This school is insane!_

“You say...the price of my love’s not a price that you’re willing to pay.” 

Mr. Washington stood up, practically knocking his chair over. “I’ll go talk to him.” The other teachers in the room nodded gratefully, looking all too long-suffering. Alex wouldn’t have been surprised if Mr. Washington just dived out of the first window he was offered. Actually, he would have been. Mr. Washington was a loyal person. 

“Let’s see, what should I say next! Oh! You cry-yyy-yyy, and...oh, what rhymes with that?” Principal King’s voice abruptly changed. “Whatever. The point is, you’re all being idiots about this. I have the power here. You don’t just openly declare... _rebellion._ Why are you all so sad? After all, we have an agreement. I give you guys the money that you need to have a nice school, and you love and revere me in return!” 

“He’s...power-mad?” Alex asked Laurens. 

Laurens nodded. “I don’t know why we put up with this.” 

“Now, you’re all making me very, very mad,” King hissed. Chills went up Alex’s spine. _What the fuck? Is he a_ vampire _or something?_ “Remember, despite our estrangement, I’m your man.” 

And then he was singing again. “You’ll be back. Soon you’ll see.” There were sounds of typing, and Alex heard King whisper, “RhymeZone...rhymes with see...oh!” He went back to singing. “You’ll remember you belong to me.” 

Alex choked slightly. “What the hell? Is he crazy?” 

Laurens groaned. “Yes.” 

“Does he not get the very nasty implications of saying stuff like that?” 

“No.” 

“You’ll be back! Time will tell. You’ll remember that I served you well.” 

“Bullshit!” a guy named Philip Schuyler yelled. 

“Mr. Schuyler, be...polite…” Mr. Knox said, trailing off, and looking very much like he wanted to insult Principal King himself. 

“Oceans rise. Empires fall!” _Oh. My. God. What the fuck does this have to do with anything? Why the hell are we still listening to this?!_

“And we have seeeeeen each other through it aaaall…” King abruptly cut himself off. “And remember, if things get at all...nasty, then I will have to fail all of you to remind you just how much I love you.” 

King was humming now, but Alex was suddenly very afraid. King didn’t have the authority to do that, right? _Right?_

“All of you guys say that the love we have is destructive, and that you don’t want me anymore! Well, you’ll be the ones complaining when I’m gone. You just don’t _listen!_ Whenever I talk about how _I’m_ feeling, you change the subject to the _budget_ or to _tolerance_ or to some bullshit like that. Well, stop changing the subject! I love you guys too much to talk about boring stuff like that. You’re my sweet, submissive little students.” 

Alex’s face was burning red, and everyone else in the class looked either embarrassed or like they couldn’t quite believe what they were hearing. 

“You’re my loyal little students. Forever. And ever. And ever! You’ll be back, okay? Just like every other time you’ve tried to break away. ‘Cuz I’ll fight this fight and I’ll fucking win it, got it? I just want your love, your praise, whatever you have to give. And once you give me that, I’ll love you until I die! If you leave, I’ll go _mad._ Just wait and see.” 

_What the hell-fuck?!_

“So don’t throw this away! ‘Cuz when push finally comes to shove, I’ll fucking fail all of you little shits—” 

Mr. Washington’s voice suddenly came over the intercom. “Mr. King, you can’t say that to students.” 

King’s voice was suddenly amiable once more. “I can’t?” 

“No. You should turn the intercom off.” 

“Aw, but Georgie!” King sounded like he was pouting. “Is this because you think I don’t love you? You’ll always be my favorite, you know.” 

“Mr. King, you need to stop.” The annoyance in Mr. Washington’s voice could be heard over the intercom. 

“I love you all, dear subjects—I mean, students! No, subjects, actually—” 

The intercom abruptly turned off. Mr. Washington had done his job. But— “What the hell was that?” Alex demanded. 

“That,” said Lafayette, “was Principal George King the Third.” 

“Oh my God! Is he even _sane?_ ” 

Lafayette shrugged. “He’s rich. He’s the son of the superintendent.” 

“What else matters?” Paul Revere finished. 

“Soldiers, I need you to calm down. You can’t talk like this in school.” 

“Mr. Knox, we can’t let this go on,” Alex insisted. “This is crazy! There’s no way that this is a safe learning environment.” 

Mr. Knox shrugged, starting to smile. “Well, I need to go get some water. If you all happen to talk about what you want to do while I’m gone, I’m sure that I won’t be able to stop it.” He left. 

“We need to get rid of him,” Hamilton declared. 

“He’ll hear about this!” Seabury declared, walking out. Lafayette locked the door after him. 

“Let’s do this,” Laurens declared. 

There were sounds of consensus from around the room. Alex grinned. He loved feeling like part of something. He felt ready to change the order at this school. Laurens started talking again. “Raise a glass—” 

“To freedom!” Lafayette interrupted. 

Laurens raised his eyebrows. “I was going to say ‘to getting rid of King,’ but your way is fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was very, very fun to write, and we hope that everyone enjoyed! See you next update.


	8. Here Comes the General

Alex tugged on one of his loose bangs, his face still slightly warm. Laurens had lent him a hair elastic after Alex had complained about his hair getting in his face. Mrs. Ross, who was fostering him this time around, had complimented him with a knowing smile. 

_God, Laurens is amazing._ Alex went even redder at the thought. 

Alex wasn’t a stranger to romantic feelings. He had dated a couple of girls. He had dated a couple of boys, though it was tougher than being with girls. Still, he hated feeling like a creep. He had no idea if Laurens could ever like him back. He hated that feeling. He hated feeling attracted to people who would never like him back. 

He sighed, the hard, cold brick of the wall uncomfortable against his back. His legs were falling asleep. He had been waiting outside of Mr. Washington’s room. It was the day after Principal King’s address. Burr had finally told him who was in charge of student council. Apparently, it was supposed to be Principal King leading it, but as King barely left his office, Mr. Washington normally kept control of the meetings. 

Burr had also told him that officers in the student council had to be juniors or seniors. That was disappointing. Very disappointing. Alex did not want to wait another year to be able to join the student council. 

Alex snuck another glance into Mr. Washington’s room. He was talking with a student that Alex didn’t recognize. He couldn’t interrupt them. He looked up at the clock again, and considered texting Mrs. Ross to tell her that he’d be late. 

A few people were still in the hall, slamming lockers and talking with each other. Alex caught the eye of Philip Schuyler Jr., one of the many Schuyler children that populated the school. Mrs. Hays was walking down the hall, talking with another one of the Schuylers, Peggy.

Finally, the girl who was in the room with Washington left, waving behind her. Alex practically jumped into the doorway, waving at Mr. Washington. “Hi! I’m Hamilton. But you know that. Because I’m in your class. Sorry, I’m rambling. Can I come in?” 

Mr. Washington had a small smile on his face. “Of course. What can I do for you?” 

“I was wondering about Student Council.” 

“You’re a sophomore, right?” 

_Of course he knows._ “Yeah. And I know that I’m not technically allowed to join, but I really think—”

“Hamilton, I’d love to have you. But rules are rules.” 

“They’re King’s rules, though!” 

“Your point?” 

Alex went redder. “I just thought…” he gathered his thoughts. “Since King doesn’t really do his job, we should be able to change the rules to what the people _actually_ in the Student Council want.” 

“And that’s fair.” Mr. Washington sighed. “Don’t quote me on it, but I agree with you. Unfortunately, King is very, very aware of what happens around the school.”

Hairs raised on the back of Hamilton’s neck. What the hell was it with King? King was like a creepy vampire that was standing in every corner. The school was divided in whether they wanted to keep or get rid of King, and those that wanted him around were very, very loyal to him. 

_But why? Why the hell would anyone want him around?_

“So I can’t join.” Alex tried to smile. He didn’t want Mr. Washington to think any less of him for any reason. “Well, thanks.” He swallowed down the lump in his throat, turning, and walking out. 

“Wait.” 

Alex turned again, his hopes jumping immediately. “Yes?” 

“We need someone to record what happens in every meeting. Normally, our secretary does that, but he’s out of town. You could take over him until he gets back.” 

“That’s awesome!” 

“To clarify.” Mr. Washington held Alex’s gaze. “You would not be a representative. That would get back to our principal.” Washington swallowed, hoping that Hamilton wouldn’t discuss their conversation with anyone. Both of them could get in huge trouble. “You would just manage the journal.”

“That would still be amazing. And next year—”

“Let’s hope it’s not that long until you can be a real member of the student council.” 

“Thank you! Thanks so much!” 

It wasn’t great, but it was more than Alex had hoped for. He waved at Mr. Washington before practically skipping out of the room and down the hall.  
He quickly texted Laurens, Lafayette, and Mulligan. 

**mulligan fucks horses**

**AHam** : replacement secretary!

**JLaur:** That’s gr8!

**Laf:** That’s it? 

**HMul:** lmao savage

**_HMul changed name to lafayette sux_**

**_Laf changed name to mulligan fucks horses_**

**_JLaur changed name to we think we’re cool_ **

Alex dashed to the bus station, hopping on the next bus that was on his route. His heart felt as though it was ten feet above his head. 

_Secretary. For now. Sounds great._ He would keep moving forward. It wouldn’t be long before he could really make a difference at the school. So far, the posters...it hadn’t been going great. Well, at least no one had thrown rocks or rotten fruit at him. 

_Small steps._

Mrs. Ross was in the kitchen when he got home, her sewing kit out. She made quilts and clothes for a living, selling them on Etsy and at markets. Mulligan had mentioned that he knew her from when she used to teach classes at the library on embroidery. When Alex had asked why he knew that, he hadn’t answered. 

“Mrs. Ross, how are you?”

“Call me Betsy, Alexander. Please.” 

“Sorry. And I’m sorry that I’m late.” 

“You’re not _that_ late.”

“Oh. Good. What are you working on?” 

“Just altering some school uniforms for some kids from Greenburgh.” 

Mrs. Ross had told him that one of the most important things for living around New York City was trying to remember the names of all the small towns. Greenburgh was to the north. Maybe. There were a lot of little towns around Yonkers. All with better names than _Yonkers._

Alex still couldn’t get over that name. There were much better names around. Like Charleston. New Castle. Nevis, in general. Miami. Even Saint Kitts. Yonkers was just stupid. And geez—had he just made himself cry _again?_

“Are you okay?” Mrs. Ross said with a worried look. 

Alex grinned at her. “Yeah! I just got some dust in my eye. Dust is bad, you know, not that it’s bad in your house or anything. Your house is awesome.”  
“It’s your house, too.” 

And now Alex was definitely crying. “Okay. I’m gonna just...go. See you later.” 

He pulled his homework out of his bag with a vengeance, only to realize that there was no way he could concentrate on it as much as he needed to. He was too messed up right now. 

It was just the reaction to being in a new place. A new place with amazing people who all acted like they actually cared about him. Amazing people who were giving him a chance to live the kind of life that he wanted to. 

Still...it was people like Mr. Washington and Mrs. Ross and even Laurens and Mulligan and Lafayette that reminded him of the few people who had tried to help him in the past. The people in Charlestown, who had been able to see something in him that Alex had never been fully sure of himself, and who had sacrificed their own means just to get him out of Charlestown out of the Caribbean. Or Alex’s mother—

But he wasn’t going to think about her now. He couldn’t manage to do that. Not anymore. 

_It’s going to be okay,_ Alex told himself. 

And then did his homework.

Laurens and Mulligan found him the next day at school. Mulligan pounded him on the back. “Dude! Secretary!” 

“Don’t hurt him, Mulligan,” Laurens chastised. 

“But still! Freshmen and sophomores never get to be on student council! You’re the boss, man!” 

“You’re pretty awesome,” Laurens agreed, flashing Alex a beautiful— _shut up, me_ —smile. 

“Still. It’s only temporary.” 

“Are you really not satisfied with that?” Laurens asked him.

Alex turned red, feeling foolish. “I’m happy with it. I just wish it was more.” 

“Next year, though.” 

“It’s a long way away.” 

“Do you at least get to choose the music for the dance?” Lafayette asked him. 

“No.” 

“Man.”

Alex spotted Burr in the hallway and dragged Mulligan and Laurens with him to catch up with Burr. “Burr! Dude! Are you on the student council?”

“I’m the junior class representative.” Burr already had a tired look on his face. But Alex noticed that Burr’s eyes were flickering down the hall. Alex looked down the hall for a split-second, not seeing anything much in the roiling mass of students, but still. Burr normally gave his full attention to whoever was talking to him. Even when it was Alex. 

“Wow! That’s really cool! I don’t know, I’d’ve expected you to be president or something. Or, like supreme ruler of the school, but I guess that’s King, really.”  
Burr forced a smile. “But you’re our temporary secretary, aren’t you?” 

“Yeah! It’s going to be great! I hope that I can do a good job with it, but I’m just the secretary until the other gets back…” 

“Jacques Prevost.”

“That’s the name of the other guy? Yeah, until he gets back. So that’s kind of lame. And Mr. Washington says that I can’t even talk or anything, just manage the book and shit—I mean, stuff, sorry. And anyway, that’s not great—”

“Smile more.” 

“What?” 

“It’s not that bad. You should be happy.” 

“I am! It’s just—”

But Burr had already turned and gone. Mulligan wrinkled his nose. “I don’t like him.” 

Laurens and Alex didn’t object. 

“Who are we talking about?” 

Lafayette had arrived. 

“Burr,” Mulligan said. 

“Yeah, he’s the worst,” Lafayette agreed.

“You guys just hate everyone,” Alex pointed out. 

Mulligan shrugged, while Lafayette said, “Non, just the assholes.” 

“Why don’t we not talk about this?” Laurens suggested. “We can talk about our next plans for the GSA instead. I feel awkward trash-talking people.” 

Laurens had smile lines around his mouth and eyes. When he grinned, the freckles across his nose made a star shape. 

_I’m being a creeper again,_ Alex realized. He smiled at Laurens with a red face. “That sounds great.” 

(“Sexual tension,” Peggy said triumphantly to Angelica and Eliza when they all got home. “Told you.” 

Angelica groaned. “Peggy, you can’t prove—” 

“Yes, I can. I took pictures.” 

“Peggy, you _didn’t!”_ )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is so late y'all! we had finals and you know how those things go. hope you guys enjoyed!  
> comments and kudos are appreciate ;)))


	9. A School's Dance

Alex considered the clothes hanging in his closet. What does one wear to a dance? It’s not like there were many dances at the schools Alex went to at his old foster families’ neighborhoods. He pushed aside his old t-shirts and considered his one button-down. It was fine, he supposed, but weren’t dances really fancy? Or was that just prom? 

Sighing, Alex was forced to admit that he had no idea what the hell he was doing. 

“Ms. Ross?” He called into the hall, “Can you help me with something?” 

Betsy Ross walked into his room. She was an older woman, a seamstress working from home ever since her husband passed away a few years ago, “Alexander, how many times have I told you to call me Betsy?” 

“Ms. Ross, how many times have I told you to call me Alex?” 

She smiled. “What can I help you with?” 

Alex shuffled his feet. “What do you wear to a school dance? I mean, I have a general idea but I don’t really know; I don’t want to be over-dressed but I don’t want to be under-dressed, like what if I wore a suit and everyone was in t-shirts? Or if I wore a t-shirt and everyone was in floor-length gowns? I dunno, Ms. Ross, I don’t have much experience with dances.” 

Ms. Ross looked like she was about to starts laughing, a wry smile on her face. “Alexander, it’s not that hard.” She wiped her hands on her shirt and walked over to his closet. “This button-down is fine, and I might have a jacket for you somewhere.” 

Alex smiled sheepishly. “Thanks, Ms. Ross. I think Lafayette will be here to pick me up in a few minutes.” 

Ms. Ross’s eyes lit up. “Oh, Marie-Joseph! Wonderful! I have a few pieces for him to pick up.” 

Alex blinked. “Marie-Joseph?” 

“Marie-Joseph Paul Yves...you know, I think he goes by Lafayette or something at school—” 

“Wait, Lafayette’s name is _Marie-Joseph_ plus twenty other things? That’s so great!” 

Mrs. Ross laughed. “Don’t tell him I told you.” 

“Of course not. I’ll just send him secret texts from an untraceable number.” 

“Alexander, be nice.” 

“Sorry, Mrs. Ross.” 

Mrs. Ross tossed him a black suit jacket. Alex pulled it on. It was a bit too long in the sleeves, but it didn’t fit all that badly. Alex let the sleeves slip to cover his hands, which reminded him of wearing comfortable hoodies. Back in Saint Kitts, his foster father let him borrow hoodies all the time. That had been nice. 

And then, of course, his eyes were watering again. _Why do I do this to myself?_ “Thanks, Mrs. Ross.” 

“Alexander, how many times do I have to tell you…” 

“Sorry! Betsy.” Alex gave a small laugh. “Do I need, like, a tie or something? And are these shoes okay?” It was nice living with a fashion expert. Alex had a feeling that no matter what he wore, Lafayette would find something wrong with it. Still, he at least wanted everyone else to like what he was wearing. 

“No tie. Shoes...do you have anything else...why didn’t I buy you anything else?!” 

Alex went red. “Mrs. Ross, it’s really fine…” 

“No! I should have bought you another pair of shoes! Maybe you can wear one of the old pairs, the ones in the attic...still. They might not fit.” 

Alex looked down at his beat-up pair of red sneakers. “I think that these work. They’re...flashy.” 

His phone buzzed. 

**Laf:** _I’m here_  
 **Laf:** _Get in loser_  
 **Laf:** _Wait no that was mean_  
 **Laf:** _I’m sorry_  
 **Laf:** _FORGIVE ME_  
 **HMul:** _Laf u fuckin nerd_  


“Gotta go.” Alex kissed Mrs. Ross on the hand. “Thanks for your help.” 

“Have fun!” 

Lafayette’s car was outside. Alex was still sort of amazed by it. It was dark blue, with a sheen that never seemed to go away no matter how long it went without a wash. It looked fancy, and Lafayette had told him with a red face that his family was one of the ones that actually _belonged_ in Yonkers in terms of money. The license plates were New York. The bumper stickers were French. _Est Détruit_ —Get wrecked. _Olympique Lyonnais. Paris Pour Toujours_ —Paris forever. _Nous bavardons pour les oies!_ —...we honk for geese. 

Huh. 

“Mulligan likes horses, you like geese?” 

“Guilty.” 

Lafayette grinned at him, his smile practically luminescent. His hair was back in its traditional ponytail, but his normally escaping bangs were slicked back. He had skin-tight blue pants with brown knee-high boots, and a purple shirt with ruffles along the collar. It was a weird outfit. It looked great on Lafayette. 

“Well, you don’t look awful,” Lafayette said. 

“Thanks.” 

“And _someone’s_ gonna like that shirt.” 

Alex went red. “What about you?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“You have anyone that you plan on dancing with tonight?” 

“Apart from everyone at school?” Alex stuck out his tongue at him, and Lafayette laughed. “There’s a girl. She lives in France.” 

“Laf! That’s awesome!” 

“Did you not hear the France part?” 

“Do you talk with her much?” 

“Yeah.” 

Lafayette told him more about the girl, Adrienne, as they made the drive to Continental High. The front of the school had some holiday lights thrown over it haphazardly, but it was kind of festive, and Alex at least enjoyed the effort. They entered the school, and as they neared the gym, music became more and more audible. 

“Yo!” 

It was Mulligan. Alex grinned, and he and Lafayette made their way over to Mulligan and Laurens. Mulligan had his signature hat on, with a letterman jacket over a button-down blue shirt and some dress pants. Lafayette punched him in the shoulder. “Footballer.” 

Mulligan punched Lafayette back. “Nerd.” 

“Loser.” 

“Hah.” 

Alex went red as he looked at Laurens. Laurens looked like he was performing in a concert or something like that. So adorable— _what the fuck is wrong with me?!_ Laurens saw that he was looking and laughed. “My dad takes this stuff way too seriously.” 

“You look...great.” 

Hamilton’s face was totally red, and Laurens started blushing too. He didn’t plan on dancing with anyone tonight. Dancing with anyone was too painful at this point. Dancing with girls reminded him that he was still trying to pass as straight to most people. And dancing with boys...what if it got back to his father? 

Still, as he looked at Hamilton, Laurens almost hoped— 

No. 

This wasn’t his time. 

He just had to get out of Yonkers. He had to wait to graduate and then he would move to New York and find a way to support himself. Laurens would never answer to his father again. 

He plastered a smile on his face. “Ready to go in?” 

The four of them entered. 

Some 60s music was pumping around the room, probably the only music that King would allow played, and while Hamilton didn’t mind the Beatles or the Yardbirds or Faces, after King’s little song, the music made him feel as if someone was planning an assassination on him. But there were refreshments along one end of the room, cookies and drinks and— 

“Pizza. Pizza, pizza, pizza,” Mulligan crooned. 

“Sprite,” Laurens said. 

“Let’s go.” Hamilton led them over to the table. People were dancing all around them. He couldn’t see Aaron. The Schuyler boy who was in his class was talking with two girls, both of whom resembled him. Alex had heard rumors of the Schuyler clan before, and those were probably two more of them. 

When Alex looked back at his friends, there was a girl talking with Mulligan. Alex had not heard her approach and realized that either he had been zoning out too much or that the girl was good at sneaking up on people. “Who…” 

“Sampson,” Laurens said to his unasked question. 

“The girl?” 

The girl looked up. “Deborah Sampson,” she said to him, offering her hand. Alex shook. She had a firm grip. “And Hercules owes me a dance.” 

Mulligan had his hand firmly clamped over Lafayette’s mouth, but Lafayette’s eyes were curling like they did whenever he was grinning. “Alexander Hamilton,” Alex introduced himself. “Nice to meet you.” 

“You too.” 

As soon as Mulligan and Sampson had begun dancing, Lafayette let out a laugh. “Yeah, Herc!” 

Laurens snorted. “I thought that you two…” 

“One-time thing, _mon ami.”_

“Wait, what?” Alex cut in. 

“They kissed once,” Laurens told him. He was getting red again, and he hated himself for it. Hamilton was probably straight, and Laurens had no right—no right—to be liking _anyone_ when he knew that there was no chance at him having a relationship with anyone until high school was over. _And Hamilton deserves more than that._

“Don’t tell Herc we told you,” Lafayette said. 

“What is it with Mulligan? I thought he was a jock-type, but Mrs. Ross knows him for some reason, and now you two kissed…” 

“He knows Mrs. Ross ‘cause he used to take sewing lessons from her,” Lafayette told him. Laurens shifted uncomfortably. What Lafayette was telling Hamilton wasn’t damaging in any way, and Laurens doubted that Mulligan would care. Still, he disliked it when people spilled other people’s personal information. He knew that Lafayette wouldn’t hurt him. But still… 

“That’s...awesome.” 

“That’s why Debbie likes him. She’s way too good for him, if you ask me, but…” 

“Don’t say that,” Laurens objected. “Mulligan is awesome.” 

Lafayette shrugged. “Alright.” 

“Welp.” Hamilton held out his hand to Laurens, and Laurens’s heart began to race. “Wanna dance?” 

Laurens didn’t hear his own response. It was probably something horrible like _ummmm...uhhhhhh..._

“He accepts!” Lafayette took Laurens’s arm and gave it to Hamilton, then spun away. Literally spun. Like a ballerina. 

Laurens was still totally red. “Sorry...I…” 

“I’m so sorry!” 

Hamilton was the one who was red now. Alex couldn’t believe what an idiot he was being, doing this to Laurens. “I’m so sorry, Laurens. It’s just...I don’t know if you know, but I’m bi, and like, sometimes I guess I forget that not everyone is like I am! And you’re probably straight, oh my God, I’m assuming shit, I’m such an awful person, the point is, I’m really sorry! And you’re not obligated to dance with me or anything and we’ll always be friends! Hopefully! Unless you don’t—” 

“Hamilton.” 

“Yes?” Alex’s voice was too high-pitched. 

“Look, I would love to dance with you.” _Oh, God._ Alex knew that he was about to get the breakup talk. And they hadn’t even been dating! He had just ruined everything with— 

“Look.” Laurens looked around, red-faced. “Um. I’m...I’m gay.” 

“Okay, great! That’s totally fine, I hope that you didn’t think—” 

“Sssh!” Laurens winced, feeling like he was being too rude, but… “Okay. So I’m gay, and stuff. But my dad, he...he doesn’t know. He _can’t_ know. Get me?” 

“Yeah.” Hamilton was still red, and he had an intense look on his face. “Yeah, I got it. And I will never, ever do anything that might, like, out you or something, I hope you know that.” 

“I do. But, while I would love to dance...we...we can’t.” 

“Okay.” Alex felt like his heart was falling to the floor, but he kept a smile on his face. “Okay. But Laurens...I’ll be waiting on a dance, okay?” 

“Okay.” Laurens wanted to cry. “Someday.” 

“Someday.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that everyone enjoyed this chapter! Lams fluff/angst (flangst?) is fun and painful to write. 
> 
> Happy Holidays to anyone celebrating a holiday this month, and see you next update!


	10. Sky's the Limit

Alex tried to talk with Laurens as if nothing had happened, but...it was hard. _God. I’m being such an asshole. Why can’t I be more understanding?_ One of his own foster placements, in Saint Kitts, had fallen through because Alex had kissed another boy at school.

But as much as he hated himself for it, Alex was almost relieved when a girl walked up to him. He recognized her from Student Council, one of the Schuylers. He remembered that she was an amazing speaker but that no one listened to her. The dress she was wearing looked amazing on her. 

“Hamilton. Could you come with me?” 

“Um, sure?” Alex didn’t want to say no to her, but while she was really pretty, he wasn’t in the mood to dance with anyone after what had just happened. 

She led him away from his friends. “Look. I’m Angelica Schuyler.” 

“And I’m Alexander Hamilton.” 

“Could you do me a favor?” 

“Uh…” 

“My sister, Eliza, is having a bad night. And from what my brother Philip has told me, you’re a nice person. I need you to dance with her.” 

“I’m not going to date her—” 

“I get it, Hamilton. You’re the whole ‘never satisfied’ type who can’t be held down by anyone, and for some reason you think my sister isn’t good enough for you—” 

Alexander knew Eliza from math. She was smart. Nice to everyone. Pretty. He didn’t know her very well, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t want to. “You don’t know anything about me, Schuyler.” 

The Schuyler girl gave him a sympathetic glance that made him want to tear his hair out. He didn’t _need_ anyone’s sympathy. Alex looked at Eliza. She was talking with a guy, an unhappy look on her face. The guy turned and walked away from her, obviously angry. 

Alex didn’t quite know what he was doing, but after the Laurens debacle, his he felt the need to at least make sure that someone was having a good night. Alex left Angelica and walked over to Eliza. “Do you want to dance?” 

She had a resigned look on her face. “Sorry, but no.” 

Alex didn’t want to be _that_ guy, the pushy one who didn’t take no for an answer, but then the other Schuyler girl was by his side. “Come on, Eliza.” 

“Angelica, what—” 

“I’m changing your life.” 

Angelica shot her younger sister a bright smile. Eliza had a look in her eye that Alex couldn’t quite recognize. “Fine. Let’s dance.” 

Alex held out his arm to Eliza, who took it hesitantly, “I’ll level with you, Eliza, I have no fucking clue how to dance to sixties music.” That was kind of a lie. Alex did know how to dance a little bit, but he needed to break the awkward silence between them. 

It worked. Mostly. Eliza gave him a small smile that gave Alex a weird feeling in his stomach, like it had just dropped into his feet. Smiling back, and hoping his hand wasn’t too sweaty, Alex led them to the dance floor just as another song began to play. 

_Shit._ Alex knew this song. 

His father hadn’t exactly been abusive, just abrasive and often drunk and never really there. But there were a few days that Alex could remember when his father had been happy and supportive, with shining blue eyes that Alex’s mother had always said matched Alex’s. The clearest memory Alex had of this was from when he was nine. He had been sitting at the kitchen table, watching his mom and dad dance around living room to a song playing on his dad’s old record player. 

_“Skipping and a-jumping_

 _“In the misty morning fog with_

 _

“Our hearts a-thumping...”

_

It was funny, but the more Alex thought of it, it was the only time that his father had really seemed happy to be around his mother. Normally, Alex’s father was only kind to him. But on that day, they had really felt like a family. The windows had been thrown open with warm, buttery sunlight pouring in. His mom had her head thrown back laughing as his dad twirled her around. 

_“And you, my brown-eyed girl_

 _“You, my brown-eyed girl...”_

Eliza Schuyler looked nothing like Alex’s mother. But both of them had deep brown eyes. Alex’s mother’s eyes had sparkled when she was happy. Alex wondered if Eliza’s eyes glowed when she was happy. And Alex remembered his mother as a beautiful woman. (She was _too_ beautiful, that had been the problem, hadn’t it?) Eliza was pretty. Just not happy. 

Alex was not going to cry. He was not going to let this memory be tarnished by the embarrassment of crying about it at a school dance. 

The beat of the music was fast and jumpy, with guitar under it that gave it a happy feeling. The voice of the singer was rough and scratchy, just like all of the voices that came out of his father’s old record player, whether they were meant to be that way or not. 

“Are you okay?” 

“Yeah. I’m fine.” Alex smiled, eyes only a little bit watery. 

Alex thought back to before the dancing that day, where his mom had just gotten notice from where she worked that she was being laid off. He supposed that was the beginning of the end for all of them; his mom sitting on the floor with papers all around her and tears in the corners of her eyes. 

Then his dad had walked in and turned on the record player, pulling her out of her seat. He and swung her around and around just like how they used to dance to that song when they were younger. 

And she had laughed and laughed and looked years younger, the years melting away until they were both teenagers again, dancing together in the golden sunlight. 

Alex refocused on Eliza’s face, saw how the corners of her mouth drifted downwards and worry lines dug into her forehead. 

_“Slipping and a-sliding_

 _“All along the waterfall...”_

They were towards the periphery of the mass of dancers, so that they still had some room to stand apart from each other. Alex held eye contact with Eliza, smiling, bright and warm, and then twirled her around once. Eliza let out a surprised giggle and grinned at him. 

_“With you, my brown-eyed girl_

 _"You, my brown-eyed girl.”_

Alex spun her around again, and she laughed once more. Her eyes were shining, and dimples were starting to deepen in her cheeks. Her ponytail was flipping over her shoulder, and Alex had a feeling that his would be, too, if it was any longer. 

_Shit, she has a gorgeous smile._ Butterflies swooped around in Alex’s stomach, and he swooped Eliza around the dance floor in time with them. A few more songs went by, each one of them more and more sixties than the last one. “Do you want to spin?” he asked her. 

“What?” 

“Like this.” 

They joined hands, and then both of them leaned backwards, so that they were holding each other up. “It’s...a reverse trust fall,” Eliza suggested, feeling embarrassed the minute that she said it. 

But Alex kept smiling. “I love it!” 

And then they began spinning, quickly whipping around in circles. Eliza was sure that one of them would fall, or that their hands would slip. But they didn’t. The world around them began to blur. Eliza closed her eyes, laughing. It was like she was flying. 

They came to a stop, and both of them collapsed to the ground, laughing. Eliza felt like she might throw up. But she didn’t. 

Countless songs later, Alex and Eliza were half-waltzing to some slow, smooth song, arms around each other. As they spun around, Alex caught a glimpse of Laurens standing alone on the edge of the dance floor, staring at Alex and Eliza dancing. Laurens tried to catch his eye, but Alex had already turned back to Eliza. They’d been having a great discussion about the stock market crash of ‘08. 

Alex was glad that Angelica had made them dance. No one else would be willing to do something as ridiculous have a discussion with him about America’s economy while slow-dancing to 60s songs. His thoughts went to Laurens. Someday they’d have their dance. But this hour was for Eliza. 

The last song faded, and Eliza stared at Hamilton for a few moments. The world was fading back into focus. “I’m not interested in sex,” she blurted out. 

And then, “Gah!” Eliza turned away, her face burning. She was afraid that she might start to cry. This night had been so wonderful, and now she was just going to ruin it with who she was. But Cornelia and Angelica had both warned her that people were interested in sex and she didn’t want to lead Hamilton on, or anything, but…“God, I’m such an idiot.” 

“No, you’re not.” 

Alexander still had that stupidly beautiful, kind look on his face, and now Eliza was crying. “No. I shouldn’t have said that.” 

“It’s okay if you’re gay, or whatever, you know. I mean, I’m bi, and I really can’t believe that I’m having this conversation for the second time tonight, but yeah...that’s what I’m doing. But anyway…” 

“I’m ace. Asexual. Or, aro/ace, but…” Eliza was still kind of crying. She couldn’t talk. Alex’s hands were warm and comforting around hers. 

“That’s cool. And I’m not going to spill your secret, or anything. I think that you’re pretty awesome, and I don’t give a shit about your sexuality, or who you like romantically, or whatever. I mean, that’s just bullshit. And I hate bullshit.” Alex grinned sheepishly. 

Eliza laughed. “I’m glad that we danced.” 

“Me too. Look, Eliza. There are a lot of people that care about you. Like, everyone at school likes you, and your siblings love you, obviously, I mean, I think that Angelica would legit murder me if I hurt you, but anyway...you’re safe. I promise.” His gaze was earnest and warm. 

“You can’t promise that.” 

Alex swallowed. “Okay. That’s fair.” 

“But...thanks for trying.” 

“No problem.” Alex was seized upon by a moment of recklessness. He brought Eliza’s hand to his mouth and kissed her hand, because he was a dramatic piece of shit sometimes, okay, and he had a feeling that Eliza wouldn’t care. She laughed, and twisted their fingers together, leaning towards him. 

Alex froze. _Is she going to kiss me holyshitholyshitholyshitholy-_

She leaned in farther and kissed his cheek, a soft smile on her face, “Thanks, Alexander. I had fun.” 

Alex grinned and squeezed her hand, “So did I.” He spun her around again as she laughed, then pulled her close and kissed her cheek. 

Laurens watched all this with a blank stare. He saw Alex and Eliza dancing together, he saw them flirting, he saw them spinning around as her dress twirled in the kind of way people write love songs about. He saw them stop dancing and whisper to each other, probably sweet nothings and fluffy, lovey-dovey shit. He saw Alex _kiss her hand,_ he saw Eliza _kiss his cheek,_ he saw _Alex kiss her cheek back_ \- and that’s when Laurens knew he had lost. 

_Eliza would be good to him,_ Laurens thought to himself. Alex didn’t need Laurens’ angst, drama-filled life. Alex needed Eliza; soft, pretty Eliza with big beautiful brown eyes and silky hair. They’d probably date right through high school and college, then settle down in some suburbia to start their nuclear family. Alex would work for a law firm, Eliza would be in social work, and they would be happy together. 

Laurens crushed his paper cup in his hands. They’d be happy together. Alex didn’t need Laurens’ mountains of emotional baggage and problems. He didn’t deserve to have that dumped on him. And Laurens didn’t deserve Alex. 

Laurens didn’t deserve anyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The flangst is strong with this one.  
> Why do we do this to ourselves?!
> 
> Thanks for reading, and have a good New Year!


	11. I Will Regret That Night

Laurens was going to go home and pretend that he had danced with a bunch of girls and force his father to think that he was totally into girls. Like he always did.

Laurens looked at Hamilton again. His ponytail was perfectly centered, although a few hairs had escaped. Laurens couldn’t help but smile. His own hair was like that, impossible to control. But Laurens’s eyes were starting to burn slightly. He looked away. 

~

As the lights flipped on, Eliza hugged Alexander, and then found Angelica standing against the wall. The two sisters grinned at each other, and then Eliza went over and joined Angelica. Peggy found them soon enough, and then Philip was there, too. Eliza hugged her twin brother. “This was awesome.” 

“Good, Lizzy,” he whispered. 

“Mmm. Don’t call me that.” 

They each flashed each other the middle finger, and then Peggy flipped off both of them, and then the four of them walked out to the parking lot. Cortlandt was already at the car. The rest of their siblings either hadn’t come or had gone home early. 

“That was pretty great.” Eliza said, smiling. 

“Speak for yourself,” groaned Peggy. “That music.” 

“Be nice!” Angelica barked. “Your sister had a good time!”

“I’m with Peggy,” Philip said. “It’s the same shit that King has playing in his office all the time.” 

“Swear jar,” said Cortlandt. 

“How do you know so much about King’s office, anyway?” Angelica asked.

~

Laurens was going home with Mulligan, and Hamilton was going home with Lafayette, but the four of them walked outside together and started the three-block walk to their cars. 

“So. You and Debbie,” Lafayette prompted.

“Shut up,” Mulligan replied. 

“I’m French, _mon ami_. I know love when I—”

“Shut up!” all three of them said, mostly joking. Lafayette flashed them a grin. 

“But what about you two? Did anything?” 

“Shut up.” Laurens grumbled. 

Lafayette raised an eyebrow at him. 

They got to Mulligan’s car first, and Mulligan gave Lafayette and Hamilton a crushing hug. Laurens settled for giving them each a side-hug, the awkward kind that he always associated with ‘no homo, bro.’

Ha.

Mulligan and Laurens slid into the car. “Are you okay?” Mulligan asked him when they were driving. 

The lights of the Laurens home were still several miles away. “I’m fine.” 

~

Her siblings were all talking and arguing, but Eliza had her face pressed to the window. The lights of the city were fading behind them as they drove back to the mansion that they lived in. Eliza hated it when the lights faded. That was her favorite thing about New York City. The endless lights. 

What am I going to do? she wondered. It wasn’t like she was Cortlandt or Cornelia, who were both gay, or the rest of her siblings other than Angelica, where were all bi or pan. Or even like Rensselaer, her brother who was already in college and was hetero/pan and happily dating a girl. She knew that her father at least pretended not to care about Cornelia and Esther, but that was because at least his non-straight children would eventually marry, probably to prominent people who would help his standing in life. That sounds bad, though. Eliza’s father wasn’t a selfish person. Just...focused on his business. 

But Eliza didn’t want to ever get married to anyone. She wanted to be alone. Not in that she was an introvert, but that she had no interest in anyone. 

It made her feel like such a freak.

~

“I can walk home,” Laurens said when they reached Mulligan’s house. He was less than a mile away from here. Hell, he should have just driven himself there and back.

“You’re crazy. You wanna get mugged or something?”

“We live in Yonkers.” 

“Let me drive you, John.” 

Mulligan barely ever used first names. Laurens looked at his friend, trying to find any worry in his face. Okay, so maybe he was acting off, but he wasn’t going to hurt himself or anything. “Fine,” Laurens sighed, not wanting to argue. 

“Are you actually going to be okay, Laurens? Do you want to stay the night, or something?” 

“One. Yes, I am okay. Two. Do you think my dad’s gonna like that?” 

“Stay safe, Laurens.” 

“I am safe, Mulligan.” Laurens stared forward, outside of the windshield, where the lights of his family’s mansion were coming into focus. “We live in Yonkers, after all.” 

~

Watching the houses stream past as she and he siblings drove home, Eliza debated coming out. All her siblings were pretty much out, and it was assumed by the whole family that Eliza and Angelica were the only straight ones. 

And Eliza was straight, she supposed. Just aro/ace. So there really wasn’t much to come out as, especially since her family was already so accepting. But being aro/ace was so much different from being gay, or bi, or pan. Because all of those people still love and marry and have sex and all the other couple-y things.

Eliza was a freak. She knew she was. She had to be. And anyway, everyone was assuming she would get together with Alex. Maybe she should just do that. Forget everything she told him, she should just date him for high school and college. Marry him, love him, start a family with him. He clearly liked her, maybe she should just be the person everyone thought she was.

But she didn’t want to. God, she didn’t want to. She wanted to be friends with Alex, not date him. But what if her family didn’t accept who she was? There wasn’t much exposure to aro/ace in Yonkers.

But then she thought of Alex, his supportive smile and hopeful eyes. She knew he would be there for her no matter what. Even though she had only known him for a few days, she wanted to know him for the rest of her life.

Emboldened by that, Eliza knew what she would do. She would come out to her family.

With that resolved, Eliza looked out the window with a smile, watching the lights fly by.

~

I hope you’re happy, Laurens thought as he walked in the door. 

He thought it to Hamilton. He hoped that Hamilton would be happy with Eliza. He certainly seemed happy with her. Smiling and spinning and all that shit. Hamilton deserved someone to do that with. 

He thought it to his father. I hope that you’re happy that I can’t be happy. But no, that was too melodramatic. Laurens loved his father. He loved his family. It wasn’t his fault that he was gay, yes. But he didn’t want to ruin his relationship with everyone that he loved just because of who he preferred romantically and sexually. Family love before romantic love, after all. Or at least, that was what everyone seemed to believe. It at least seemed logical. 

I hope you’re happy, he thought to himself most of all. I hope that I’m happy that I can never be happy. Because that was just it, wasn’t it? He would never feel happy coming home. And even if he moved to New York City and got married to a guy and adopted sixteen kids and did whatever the fuck made him happy, his father would still be there. 

Laurens wanted to be free to be who he was. 

But Laurens needed his father with him as he did so.

~

“Dad, I’m gay.” 

Eliza wanted to punch herself for using the ambiguous blanket term. Her father looked up from his book. “Alright.” 

“No. I’m not...I’m not gay. I just...I don’t like anyone. I’m asexual.” 

Her face was burning, and then Philip took one of her hands and Angelica took the other. Cortlandt was reading his own book, and was staring at their father. Peggy was standing as tall as she could next to them, probably trying to look supportive, but coming off as angry. 

“Meaning…” 

Eliza reminded herself that her father had grown up in a different time, and that they were living in a place where any non-straightness was derided by most adults. She reminded herself that her father had accepted a lot from his children. But she was so, so afraid that he wouldn’t accept her. His look was confused. She tried to find any anger. She was afraid that she might throw up. 

~

Laurens walked into the mansion, smiling at one of their workers, who was leaving for the night. He walked through the first hallway, his footsteps echoing in his ears. Ha. Maybe if he came out to his father, he could just avoid him for the next months. After all, the house was huge, and Laurens knew every inch of it. Better than his father, probably. 

His pulse quickened as he imagined actually coming out to his father. 

What was the worst that could happen? The potential payoff was so much more than the cost. And Laurens knew that his father loved him. Someone that loved him couldn’t just stop, right? His father couldn’t just stop loving him!

Could I do it? Laurens wondered. 

His father was in the main room. 

I’m going to do it. 

~

“Well?” 

Eliza’s voice was quavering. 

“Well?” 

“So…” Mr. Schuyler had that look on his face, the unreadable one that Eliza didn’t mind, not when it wasn’t directed at her, but now it was and Eliza didn’t know what to do. “So...you just don’t like anyone. No marriage, no dating” 

“Is that...is that okay, Dad?” Eliza’s voice broke, and she started crying. She should never have done this. 

“Well, this is...new.” 

“Oh. My. God.” 

That was Cortlandt. “Dad, it’s not new. It’s always been there, and now Eliza is sharing part of herself with you, and I swear to god, if you can’t wrap your mind around this...I mean, it’s not that hard. Yeah, the rest of us aren’t straight, but you dealt with that fine. And I think we all know that the real abomination in this family is our names. Our names suck.” 

“Oh my God, Cortlandt,” Peggy groaned. 

“Yeah. Cortlandt. Rensselaer. What were you thinking?” 

Their father let out a bark of laughter. “Well, now I don’t have to worry about anyone breaking my little girl’s heart.” 

~ 

“How was it, John?” 

“It was good, Dad.” 

“Good! Did you dance with anyone?” 

“I—” 

Laurens choked on his words. 

“I...yeah.” 

“Yeah? Who was she?” 

“You wouldn’t know her. Her dad’s not in business.” 

Laurens thought that he might throw up. 

~

“I love you, Dad!” 

Eliza launched herself at her father, capturing him in a huge hug. 

He hugged her tightly back. “I love you to, ‘Liza. I’ll always love you. I’m sorry...I’m sorry that you didn’t...realize that. I love you. So much.” 

Eliza was sobbing. She could sense that her father’s worldview was changing. Growing. And oh my God, she felt so lucky that this was her father, a kind person who could actually accept her, and thank God that her family was her family, and, “thank you, Daddy! I love you!” 

“It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be okay. I promise.” 

~

“Love you, Dad.” 

“Have a nice night, John,” Laurens’s father told him as Laurens went up the stairs to his room. 

He hated himself. Laurens hated himself. 

It was never going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i both love and hate this chapter  
> (psst i'm on tumblr at iinfiniteskies.tumblr.com)


	12. Hope For Us After All

A few days after the dance, they had all gathered at a pizza place near Mrs. Ross’s house. It was feeling less and less awkward to be with Laurens, although Laurens had been acting strangely since the night of the dance. _My fault,_ Hamilton thought to himself. 

Laurens knew that he had no right to mistreating Hamilton just because he was with Eliza. But he couldn’t help it. Hadn’t it only been minutes before that Hamilton had been asking Laurens to dance? Had Hamilton rebounded that quickly? Or—Laurens hated himself for thinking this—had Hamilton seen how Laurens had been pining after Alex and asked him to dance out of pity? 

Laurens couldn’t bear the thought. He watched silently as Hamilton joked around with Lafayette and Mulligan. They were probably teasing him about Eliza, and Hamilton seemed fine with it, laughing along with them. 

“Seems like Alex finally got himself a girl,” Lafayette laughed. “ _Mon petit lion,_ all grown up.” 

“You’ll do well with her, Alex. You definitely could have done worse,” Mulligan teased, bumping Hamilton’s shoulder. 

Laurens looked away. Playing in an awful loop in his head—Hamilton and Eliza spinning around, dancing, talking, _kissing_ —he couldn’t get it out of his head. A ripple of jealousy passed through him. He saw himself in Eliza’s place. Saw he and Alexander spinning around the dance floor to stupidly sweet, nostalgic sixties music, arms wrapped around each other. Whispering to each other as they slow danced, kissing each other as soft, slow music played in the background. Laurens stared at the linoleum floor. 

“Hey, Laurens.” Mulligan’s voice tore him out of his reverie, “What do you think of Hamilton and Eliza?” 

Laurens forced a grin. “If the tomcat can get himself a date, there’s hope for our asses after all.” 

Mulligan and Lafayette roared with laughter. Hamilton squinted at Laurens, who had gone back to staring at the floor. Should he tell him? 

“Laurens,” Hamilton blurted out, “can I talk to you?” 

Laurens looked up from the suspicious stain underneath the table. “Yeah?” He refused to get his hopes up. Probably Hamilton just wanted to talk to him about Eliza. Maybe apologize in some kind of patronizing way for asking him to dance before. 

Laurens and Hamilton stood outside the pizza place as the moon shone down on them, bathing them both in a soft, silver light. 

“How was the dance for you?” Hamilton ventured to ask him. “Dance with anyone?” 

“No.” Laurens kicked a small stone. It hit Hamilton’s shoe and bounced off. 

There was a small silence. 

“Have fun with your dear Eliza?” Laurens asked bitterly. 

Hamilton rubbed the back of his neck, “Uh, yeah, about that. We’re—” 

“It’s fine, Hamilton. You don’t need to spare my feelings. You’re happy with her. That’s fine. Go date her and have fun.” Laurens had a sour taste in his mouth. He turned around to walk back into the pizza parlor. 

“John, come on.” Hamilton grabbed his hand and yanked him back. 

“Stop it, _Hamilton._ Leave me alone,” Laurens spat out, yanking his hand out of Hamilton’s grip. A sick feeling wound its way through his stomach. He stepped back. “I don’t need your pity.” 

“John.” Hamilton looked desperate. _“John.”_ He stepped closer. 

“Fuck off, Hamilton,” Laurens growled. 

Hamilton stopped, a hurt look in his eyes. “So you won’t even listen to me? Hear me out, John. That would be enough.” 

Laurens stopped. There was a beat of silence. 

“Eliza and I are just friends, John.” 

“Yeah, sure. You two looked so chummy-chummy on the dance floor. Obviously all that kissing was _completely_ platonic.” 

Hamilton stepped closer. “I’m serious. I don’t like her like…like that.” 

John barked a bitter laugh. “Hamilton, you could see the heart eyes from you from across the room.” 

Hamilton flinched. “Sure, but did you see anything from Eliza?” 

“Oh, let me count. Maybe when she held your hands. Or waltzed with you. Or _embraced_ you. Or maybe, just maybe, when she _kissed_ you. Gee, I _wonder._ ” He punctuated his sentences with aggressive air-quotes. “Wow, look at all that _platonic kissing._ ” He waved his finger quotation marks around. 

Hamilton looked like he was building himself up to do something. John didn’t notice. 

“All that platonic hand-holding. Completely friendly slow-dancing. Those no-hetero-though whispered confessions of love. Get over yourself, Hamilton. I don’t need your sympathy.” 

“John,” Hamilton whispered, stepping still closer. 

“What, Hamilton, are you still trying to convince of your friendship with Eliza? I—” 

“Can I kiss you, John?” 

_“What?”_

Then Alex kissed him and John felt the world explode around him. 

Quickly, all too quickly, Alexander pulled back. “Holy shit I’m sorry, I should have waited for you to say yes, I completely violated your consent, I am so sorry, holy shit—” 

“Alex.” 

Hamilton turned bright red at the use of his first name. “Yeah? 

“Shut up and kiss me again.” 

He did. 

_It’s fine,_ Laurens told himself. It was all good. It was all just fine and dandy—except it _wasn’t_ because _Alexander Hamilton_ was _kissing_ him and it was beautiful and amazing and he wanted to stand there forever, kissing Alex under the milky light of the moon. 

They walked back into the pizza parlor with their hands awkwardly clasped. Lafayette squinted at them. “Alex, John, how you say … what the fuck.” Mulligan looked equally confused. 

Alex sighed. “Eliza and I aren’t together. John and I are.” Alex reached nonchalantly for a slice of pizza as Lafayette and Mulligan stared at them. It sounded simple when he said it, but Alex had a weird feeling in his stomach. He liked John, obviously. But he also liked Eliza, and even though she was aro/ace, it still felt weird to be kissing John when he had also been kissing Eliza. Alex suddenly felt suffocated with John sitting next to him, thoughts twisting nauseatingly fast around in his head. 

Laurens leaned on Alex’s shoulder, a giddy feeling coursing through him. He wasn’t completely sure if the nerves in his stomach were due to the idea of his dad somehow hacking the security camera and watching him cuddle with a guy, or due to the fact that _Alexander Hamilton_ and him were dating and John really, really liked him. 

The bell over the door jingled. 

“Well, it isn’t Aaron Burr,” Alex grinned, sweaty hand clutching John’s under the table. “Come on over, sit down! We’d love to have your company, or I mean, I would love—never mind.” _Talk less._ Alex gestured to the seat next to him. 

Burr took the next table over. “I’ll have to decline.” 

“It’s been awhile since I’ve seen you here,” said Lafayette. 

“I don’t think we come here at the same times.” 

“Sometimes I think you don’t like us, Burr,” said Lafayette. 

Alex didn’t know what was happening, or why Burr and his friends seemed to dislike each other. But— 

“I saw you at the dance, for a few minutes,” John said. “Were you there with somebody?” 

“No.” 

Mulligan laughed. “I’ve heard some, um, things…” 

“All of which are untrue.” Burr let out a sigh as he looked at the pizza spinning in a case, and then left again. He didn’t want anything to eat, anyway. 

Alex got up and ran after Burr. “Hey! Burr!” 

“Hamilton. Do you need to follow me everywhere?” 

“I just wanted to say sorry. For how they were acting. I mean, they were kinda being jerks, and you didn’t deserve any of that, and—” 

“Talk less, Hamilton.” 

_I’m trying._ “Are you...are you okay?” Alex could see something in Burr’s eyes that he didn’t like. 

“I’m fine.” 

“Do you have a girlfriend?” 

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.” 

“Okay, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to pry, or anything, and I guess that was a jerk thing of me to do, so, yeah—” 

“Hamilton, you’re hard to be around.” 

“So I’ve been told.” Alex went red, grinning. 

“She’s...she’s with someone.” 

“What?” 

“The girl they were talking about. She’s not my girlfriend, per se.” 

“Oh.” Alex was surprised that Burr had opened up to him. “Then...why are you...do you like her, Burr?” 

“Of course.” Burr didn’t know why he was opening up to Hamilton. 

“Then go get her!” 

“Goodbye, Hamilton.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lams fluff! This was an awesome chapter to write, and we hope that everyone enjoyed!


	13. A Letter Every Day

It was commonly known that Aaron Burr did not eat pizza. 

It was greasy and full of calories and it was a food that demanded to be eaten with other people. Burr did not have other people to eat pizza with, nor did he want any such friends. 

There was a single person that he enjoyed eating pizza—anything, really—with. But Aaron did not discuss that person. 

Most of the pizza places in Yonkers weren’t that good, anyway. 

Aaron made the walk home, appreciating the quiet sound of his feet on the cement. The evening was chilly, but the sunset that was still visible over the trees was hard to ignore. There was barely a cloud in the sky. Thanksgiving was approaching, and the businesses in town were decorated for the occasion. A little girl ran past him, wearing a princess dress already. Aaron couldn’t help but smile. He didn’t like children. But...well...he didn’t dislike them either. 

Aaron’s thoughts went to the child that he had been ordered to help around. Sure, Hamilton was a teenager. But he acted like a child. And he definitely talked as much as a five-year-old. Hamilton was annoying, just like a child, as well. 

Hamilton… 

That boy had taken the school by storm. His posters had been up in all the hallways, and as much as they were torn down or vandalized, they kept coming up on every Monday. People seemed to be getting used to them. And now he was the youngest ever member of the Continental High Student Council. Aaron didn’t like him, but at least as long as Hamilton was there, Prevost wasn’t. 

_Prevost._ Jacques Prevost was— 

_Damn._

Without realizing it, Aaron hadn’t gone home. He was standing in front of the small green-roofed house that Theodosia Bartow lived in. Aaron wondered if he should—could—knock on the door and go in. If he and Theodosia could talk with each other, maybe give each other more, as they always did. Aaron closed his eyes, letting the crisp wind blow through his body. He was being an idiot again. 

Theodosia sent him emails every day, often four or five, filled with scans of drawings she had done on paper or links to things she had drawn on her computer, filled with compliments and thoughts that she had come up with in the middle of class. As a senior, most of her teachers allowed her to take notes on her computer, but she spent too much of her class time emailing him. Sometimes, Aaron would get an email in the library that made him blush and file it separately, for when he was alone. Theodosia loved her computer. Jacques Prevost didn’t know that about her, and Aaron Burr did, but it didn’t feel like a victory to Aaron. 

He opened his eyes and took a look at the aqua curtains that hung in the windows. Slowly, he turned away from the house, and made his way back home. 

Theodosia never texted him. She sent him hundreds of emails every month. And every day, a paper letter would arrive in his mailbox. Aaron had never caught her putting them in his mailbox herself, but he had a feeling that she was. 

The letters even arrived when Jacques was in town, and Aaron had a feeling that she did it as her own form of self-harm. As her form of shoplifting. Just to get an adrenaline rush. And Aaron knew it was selfish, but he didn’t care, as long as the letters kept arriving. 

He liked it when Prevost wasn’t in town. Prevost had been going to a school in Georgia for the last few weeks, which left time for him to spend with Theodosia without feeling like he was invading someone else’s territory. 

Well, that was what he was doing anyway, wasn’t it? But it felt less wrong. 

It was still wrong. But Jacques could have the moral high ground. Everyone else in the world could have the moral high ground and the non-secrets and whatever the hell else they wanted. Just as long as Aaron had Theodosia. 

Aaron didn’t talk a lot, and when he did, it was always because he had something that couldn’t sound bad to anyone listening. But his silence gave him more time to observe. And he observed how love, or lust, or whatever it was called, dragged down whoever was experiencing it. Cornelia and Esther, both excluded by everyone at Continental High School because they were together. Hamilton, who was obviously unsure of what he wanted in life—love would hold him back and confuse him. Even Theodosia. 

Burr didn’t know why she stayed with Jacques. It hurt him. It hurt her. But then, that was just _love,_ wasn’t it? Maybe it was just created by some other emotional deficiency. Burr’s parents had died when he was young, leaving him with no mother, no father, no one to look up to, just a legacy to protect and to continue. He had lived with his father, a preacher who bordered on insane, until his grandfather had died as well. Maybe the only reason that Aaron allowed himself to stay with Theodosia, who would never give all of herself to anyone, was that he didn’t know how to feel love himself. 

Damn, he hated getting introspective. 

Aaron Burr was an intelligent man. He had plans for life. Maybe he wouldn’t be as famous as his parents, but he knew that he could succeed in life. Which was why Mrs. Warren and all of the teachers wondered why he wasn’t doing more to move faster, get more internships, get a job. 

Aaron knew that those things would all come to him. Call it selfish, call him privileged—but he knew that he would make it in life, and he knew that he would be better served by leaving more options open for himself and saving his steam for when he really needed it. 

Hamilton was just the opposite of that, wasn’t he? He moved fast and never looked back. He had no fears and didn’t seem to care when something went wrong for him. What the hell was it like being him? 

And then there was Theodosia. She was like a combination of Aaron and Hamilton. She kept to herself, but she wasn’t afraid of anything. She cheated on Jacques every day, and yet stayed with him in name for some reason. 

Aaron hated feeling selfish. 

Aaron hated wishing. 

But he selfishly wished that Theodosia would just leave Jacques and be with him. 

Aaron didn’t believe in happiness. 

But with Theodosia...it almost seemed possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's this week's update!
> 
> To everyone else in the US, I hope that you're having a good inauguration day. (I had a panic attack over it earlier today, but I'm good now, so...yeah.) Stay safe, and we love you guys. 
> 
> To everyone, we love you, and we hope that you enjoy!


	14. Attack (Retreat)

Two weeks before Winter Break, Alex was still the replacement secretary, and Mr. Washington was making him want to scream with joy.

“And so we’re going to be able to move some funding over to creating a GSA,” he was saying. “Thoughts?” 

“Motion?” said Angelica. 

“Granted.” 

“Motion to divide the room,” Angelica said, referring to the process of seeing who was for and against the proposal. 

“Assuming unanimous consent,” said Mr. Washington. “All in favor of the motion, please rise.” 

Maybe half the room stood up. Not enough. 

“Against the motion?” 

A bit more than half. Charles Lee, the president, gave an aggressive glare to everyone around him. Especially to Esther de Berdt. Alex felt for the girl. The way Lee was looking at her reminded him of how his Saint Kitts foster family had glared at him when he had told them that he had a boyfriend. Alex had a feeling that Lee would have liked to ship de Berdt off to another city. Alex wished that his vote would be counted. But he wasn’t even allowed to raise his hand. 

“Okay, so we’re fairly evenly divided,” Mr. Washington said. “Any arguments?” 

Angelica stood up. “Permission to speak?” 

“Granted.” 

“The environment at this school isn’t anywhere _near_ what it should be. Everyone here deserves to feel like they have a safe place. We can do that by creating a GSA. Our sister institution, Jacobin High School, has mentioned in their meetings that they would support it as well.” 

Benedict Arnold, the senior representative, stood up. “I object to that. I think that creating a safe place is important, but creating a GSA will just make gay—” 

“—Queer,” said de Berdt. 

“—Queer people at this school more isolated. Not to insult the school, but I think that the posters, which were by the way _unauthorized,_ have proved that this school is not ready for measures such as that. We need to take smaller steps.” 

Alex’s eyes darted around the room. Burr, the junior representative, had a neutral expression on his face. Angelica, the elective representative, looked angry. Paul Revere, the sports representative, looked confused. James Madison, who also handled electives, looked bored. Charles Lee looked ready to explode, as did de Berdt. 

Lee stood up. “I object to all of this. There’s a reason that we don’t have a GSA, and that’s because we don’t need or want it here. I’m done discussing this.” 

“Mr. Lee—” 

“Mr. Washington, you believe that the students should have power in the school,” said Lee. “Is that only in name? Or will you go through with it? We take a vote. If it goes through, I’ll back down.” 

“What would the funding ramifications be?” Madison asked. 

“Taking it away from electives. Not sports electives, but from theater, debate…” 

“Not very much!” de Berdt said. 

“Control yourself,” Lee barked at her. 

“De Berdt is right,” Angelica pointed out. “Look at the papers Mr. Washington gave you. They outline the plan, and while they do take, they take pretty evenly.” 

“It’s still too much!” 

Alexander looked at his copy of the plan and pulled out a pencil, copying down a few numbers. The plan for creating a GSA shouldn’t really need that much money, right? It currently involved getting enough money to pay a teacher to stay after school, and then also getting approval from the school board and from King. Both of which would probably be hard. 

“What if we—” 

Lee glared at Alex. “Mr. Washington, I believe that Hamilton is only a sophomore?” 

“That’s correct. Mr. Hamilton, remember, you aren’t technically supposed to be talking right now.” 

Alex glared at his paper, thinking harder. He had ideas. Why wouldn’t anyone listen? The age thing was just so _stupid!_ He deserved to be in Student Council just a much as any sophomore! Why was that rule created at all? It served no purpose but to piss people off! Alex fumed in his seat for the rest of the time as arguments continued, words flying over his head like bullets. 

“Mr. Washington!” Alex called after the teacher as the room emptied, “can I talk to you for a minute?” 

“I’m not promoting you, Mr. Hamilton.” 

Mr. Washington left the room, leaving Alex standing dumbfoundedly next to John. 

A few people sniggered. Some looked sympathetic, but most were indifferent. Lee was practically cackling from where he sat perched on a desk. 

“What did I tell you?” Lee said. 

Alex decided that Lee was now on the list of the top ten people that he hated, and while that list tended to change a lot, Lee would probably remain on top for at _least_ a week. He could do without that _stupid_ kid trying to undo every good move that Mr. Washington made, and making Alex himself feel like he was a child. Laurens took Alex’s hand, and Alex appreciated that his boyfriend was trying to keep him from _attacking this guy_ —“Just you wait, Lee.” 

Lee’s condescending smile didn’t drop. “It must be a rude awakening for you that Washington is so ineffectual. I bet you thought that he could give you whatever you wanted. Well, no. We have a thing called the _chain of command._ And the chain of command dictates that I am in charge, and I can promise you that we’re never going to have a GSA.” 

Now Alex was the one tightly gripping Laurens’s hand. Laurens was getting angry, Alex could tell, and Alex wished that he could just hug Laurens and remind him not to do anything rash. 

Laurens, too, knew better than to attack Lee. He had been keeping up his facade for so long, and he had being doing well at it. He could not let anyone know that he was gay. If this got back to his father… 

“There’s no place for gay kids at our school, anyway. Maybe in the city, sure, but we have _standards_ here.” 

And then, both Alex and Laurens were ready to murder him. 

Lee shot Alex an unpleasant smile. “Does that annoy you, you little fa—” 

Alex saw red. 

Alex attacked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that everyone had a good week and that you enjoyed this chapter. We love you guys, see you next update!


	15. When There's Reckoning to be Reckoned

Alex leapt at Lee, but all he managed was a kick in the shins before Laurens dragged him back. Alex fought him for a moment, twisting, trying to get away and punch Lee in the face. “What the fuck did you just say?!” 

“I called you and your little _boyfriend_ fa—” 

“Fuck you!” Laurens said. “Do you want to fight? Because I’ll fucking fight you—” 

“Why so annoyed?” Lee’s eyes widened. “Wait, are you _actually_ —” 

“He’s being a good fucking friend,” Alex spat. “Something that you’d know nothing about—” 

Suddenly, Burr was there. “What’s going on?” 

“Lee is being an asshole!” Hamilton hollered. “Maybe if he wasn’t so homophobic, people would actually _like_ him, but no, he’s just a power-tripping little piece of—” 

“Hamilton, stop,” Burr said, turning to Lee. “Charles, what…” 

“Just telling the truth, Burr!” 

“Fight me, bitch!” Laurens yelled. His voice echoed around the empty hall. “Fight me!” 

“John…” Alex said. “Don’t...don’t throw away…” 

“Worth it,” Laurens growled. 

“No. Don’t do it. What if—” 

“Are you just another coward?” Lee accused the two of them, his eyebrows in an intense V shape. 

“Hey, jerk!” Alex said, words falling out of his mouth faster than he could think of them. “You’re just a fucking asshole to everyone because you’re afraid of yourself and you’re, I don’t know, repressed or something, and you’re just so fucking _average_ except for your fucking _eyebrows,_ and you should be fucking _ashamed_ —” 

“Hamilton!” Burr said. “Can we please agree that you’re all being children?” 

“Burr, he has to answer to what he said!” 

“Okay, so this is happening.” Burr rolled his eyes, stepping back, and _oh, geez, Burr just made the top 100 people that I hate list—_

“I think that the little fairies are just too scared to—” 

Alex didn’t quite know what had happened. One moment, Lee was sneering at them, and Laurens was holding him back, and the next, Lee was on the ground and Laurens was standing over him. 

Lee was holding his stomach, gasping for air, and Alex couldn’t see Laurens’s face, but—fuck, it couldn’t have been pretty. 

“John!” 

Laurens turned towards him, his eyes shimmering with tears. “Al…” 

“What is going on here?” 

_Time to go,_ Laurens’s eyes said. 

Alex shook his head, and turned to face Mr. Washington. 

“I’m sorry, sir—” 

“Burr! Get Lee to the nurse!” 

“Yes, Mr. Washington.” 

Laurens moved to stand next to Alex, who was shaking like a leaf. 

“Mr. Washington, Lee was—” 

“You punched him, Mr. Laurens! That is not an appropriate response! Too the office, now! Hamilton?!” 

“Yes, sir?” 

“Meet me inside!” 

Feeling like he would throw up, Alex followed Mr. Washington into the student council room. He was going to get expelled and sent back to the Caribbean. Why was he such an idiot?! And what would happen to Laurens? 

“Mr. Hamilton! _What_ was that?! You won’t get anywhere by insulting people, nor is it allowed, obviously! You are supposed to set a standard!” 

“Did you _hear_ what he was saying?” 

“You’re not going to get anywhere—” 

“You’re right. John should have hit him in the mouth, that would have shut him up—” 

“Look, Alexander—” 

“My name is _Hamilton_ in this school, Mr. Washington, and no offense, but you’re not my friend! You’re my teacher, and I get that you need to uphold the laws of this stupid school or whatever, but you need to choose whether to yell at me or act like my counselor—” 

“You need to leave discipline to the school—” 

“Lee, Conway, Arnold, all those people—they drag you through the mud, and then they act like I—like people like me aren’t human! They’re—” 

“And we will discipline them correctly. Not to mention, I can take whatever they throw at me, as I am a _teacher_ here—” 

Alex knew that he had to shut up, but… 

“Well, maybe you can take it, but me, other gay, queer, whatever kids, they can’t! We don’t have power like you do! If you’d just let me speak more—” 

“You are brilliant, Hamilton, but you cannot be on the council just yet! It’s hard enough to keep you on _without_ you talking! If you want to stay on the council— _at this school_ —then you need to temper yourself!” 

“I’ll get expelled if it means helping LGBT kids—” 

“You deserve an education, Alexander, don’t—” 

“Call me Alexander _one more time—_ ” 

Silence. Silence. The clock ticked by the seconds of silence, silence, and Alex knew, with a sick feeling, that he had gone too far. 

“I see. We’ll discuss this later, Mr. Hamilton.” 

“Mr. Washington—” 

“No. Please, go see Principal King. I’m sorry...I’m sorry that I can’t help you.” 

Alex left the room first. 

He was _not_ going to cry. 

But a tear slid down his cheek anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> I know that we implied a fight in the last chapter. Here’s how this could have gone: 
> 
> Alex leapt at Lee, bringing his fist forward and punching Lee in his stupid face. Lee groaned in pain, but grabbed Alex’s shirt and tried to punch him. Alex twisted out of his reach, kicking him in the shins, and Lee doubled over. Alex grabbed him again, intent on punching over and over and over— 
> 
> “What is going on here?!” 
> 
> It was Mr. Washingon. 
> 
> “Hamilton, meet me inside!” 
> 
> And expulsion was unavoidable. That’s why we didn’t have Alex beat Lee up. Sorry about that. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! And not to pander for reviews, but, *ahem* we'dreallyloveyourinput. See you next update!


	16. I'm Not Sorry

The curb outside the school was fucking _gross,_ Alex observed as he sat on it next to John. His shoes, already a mess, were now covered in some kind of paint dust and his jeans were now damp from something on the sidewalk.

The sun was beginning to creep towards the horizon and the clouds in the sky were shot with streaks of orange and red. 

“You okay?” Alex turned to face John where he sat twisting his hands together. 

No response. Alex stared at the gum stuck to the road in front of him. 

“John?” 

His foot tapped nervously against the ground, hands twisting faster. 

“ _John._ ” Alex grabbed his hands. “What is it?” 

There was a few beats of silence. 

“It’s my dad,” John whispered. “What am I going to tell him? He doesn’t even know I was at school or anything—he thought I was at the library.” 

They sat quietly. Alex rested his head on John’s shoulder. Laurens stiffened, and Alex withdrew, hoping no one would see them. 

“I think you were amazing,” Alex whispered, still holding John’s hands, “also, Lee is a dick and totally had that coming. You were fabulous. I’m gonna rename the group chat ‘Laurens Punch!’ or something. You were amazing.” 

John almost laughed. “That doesn’t change anything.” 

“‘Course it does. Tell your dad you were fighting over, I dunno, a library book? Or he stole a pretty girl’s laptop and you were righteously getting it back. Or you were building character. Dads eat that shit up, right?” 

John laughed a little bit, brushing his thumb over Alex’s hand. 

“Or—I know—you accidentally tripped him down the stairs and he thought it was on purpose. Maybe he fell into a tree? Shit, that’d be funny.” 

John was actually laughing now. 

“Wait! I got it! You dropped an encyclopedia on his head!” 

“What the fuck, Alex?” 

“No—a laptop!” 

“Alex, this doesn’t help my situation at all.” But John was smiling as his said this and Alex knew he had done something good after all. 

Alex leaned on John again, and this time John let him, “Or you could tell him the truth. You know, that you were defending your boyfriend’s honor or some shit.” John stiffed against Alex. 

“You know I can’t do that.” 

“Well, why not?” Alex pressed, shifting closer to him. 

“Alex …” 

“What’s the worst that will happen? You get grounded for a few months? You’ll be fine, John, and if shit gets bad I’m sure Mrs. Ross would let you stay with us for a bit.” 

“I _can’t,_ Alex. I’d be fucking disowned. Do you know how bad it would look for conservative former South Carolina senator trying to succeed in business to have a gay son? I can’t do this, Alex.” 

“But John—just look around! We’re so lucky we are to be alive right now. Things are changing, new ideas being more accepted. Maybe it would be good for your dad’s image—you never know.” 

John pulled away from Alex and stood up, “I can’t do that, Alex. I can’t risk my father’s anger.” 

“Okay,” Alex said softly, standing up as well and taking his hand again. “Okay.” 

The silence pressed in on them. 

Alex wasn’t a stranger to angry parents, foster and not. But still...he couldn’t imagine how hopeless John was feeling. At least he had always had the guarantee of having an orphanage to go back to when things didn’t work out. 

“Look—I don’t pretend to know the challenges you’re facing. But I’m not afraid, I know who I’m dating, and I know you’re strong, John, I know you can make it through this. As long as you come back to me at the end of the day—that would be enough.” 

John leaned into Alex’s shoulder. 

“Let me be a part of your life, John. Let this moment be the first chapter where you stay with me. If I could grant you peace of mind, if you could let me inside your heart—” 

John wrapped Alex in a tight embrace. _You poetic fucking bastard._

“—that would be enough.” 

XXXXX

The next Wednesday, a rock almost shattered Laurens’s window. 

He opened it, the cold wind flooding in. Alex was standing there in his backyard. Of course. “What the hell?” 

“I need to see you—” 

Laurens waved his arms around in an effort to get Alex to be quiet. 

“Sorry! I thought that this would be romantic.” 

“I’ll come outside,” Laurens sighed. _You romantic fucking idiot._

He crept downstairs, sneaking past where his dad sat in his study, bent over some paperwork. 

The afternoon sun was warm on his back, a weird contrast to the cold air surrounding him. Wasn’t school still in session? What was Alex _doing_ here? 

He found Alex sitting on a stone bench in the back garden, partially concealed by some hanging ivy. It was a very idyllic, with the grass carpeting the ground, the rose bushes surrounding them, and the hanging ivy hiding them from outside view. The sun shone down on them, making the situation even more dreamlike than it already felt. 

“Don’t you have school?” John said as he walked towards Alex, who jumped and turned around. 

“Yes?” Alex grinned sheepishly. “But in-school suspension sucks. I wanted to see you.” 

“That’s fair,” John laughed, and sat next to him. 

Surprisingly, Alex let the silence stretch on for a bit. John was quiet, thinking back to their conversation from a couple days ago. He wondered if Alex had expected him to tell his dad. He wondered if he should. 

“Hey, Alex?” John said before he could stop himself. 

“Yeah?” Alex turned to face him, sunlight glinting off his hair. 

“Are you okay with being a closeted person’s boyfriend? Not able to tell everyone that we’re together?” 

“John, that’s the fucking worst,” Alex said. “I just want to be your boyfriend. I don’t care if you’re out or not, Jesus, that would make me an asshole to the max, because you’re really amazing just the way you are, and you have to do things at your speed, and...oh, fuck.” _Talk less, Alexander._ “I love you.” 

He blushed bright red as he realized what he had just said, “I mean, um…” 

John laughed, also blushing. 

“I know we’ve only been together for a little bit oh my god I’m so sorry, it just slipped out—” 

“I love you, Alexander.” 

“—I didn’t mean it—wait, _what?!_ ” 

“I love you too.” John took his hands in his, “I love you so, so much for everything you’ve done for me and how much you’ve supported me.” 

Alex grabbed John’s face. He knew that they were being young. He knew that they were being stupid. But this felt so _right._ “Look, I get that it’s hard for us to be together. But I love you. And I’ll do whatever it takes to be with you.” 

John kissed him gently. 

“I love you I love you—” 

“Shut it, Alexander!” John laughed. 

“I love you.” 

John smiled and squeezed their hands together. “I love you too.” 

XXXXX

They snuck out through the bushes surrounding the Laurens property with only a few scratches to show for it, giggling like schoolchildren the entire time. 

“We should go to the pizza parlor,” John suggested when they were free of the grabbing branches of the plants. He hadn’t let go of Alex’s hand yet. 

“I agree, my dear Laurens,” Alex joked, squeezing his hand. 

Once there and settled with their slices, they sat talking aimlessly, a rush of adrenaline coursing through them both at being out of where they weren’t supposed to be. 

Then— 

“What the _fuck_ , Burr?” Burr was pushed in through the doors of the pizza place, followed closely by none other than Jacques Prevost. John and Alex stared, pizza abandoned on their plates. 

“You thought you could get away with fucking _my_ girlfriend without me knowing? You think you’re so fucking slick?” Now they had everyone in the parlor’s attention. 

_Has the great Aaron Burr actually messed up?_

“You and I both know she was happier with me than you, _Prevost,_ ” Burr spat back. 

“You lying, cheating piece of shit,” Prevost growled. “You’ll be sorry you ever even _looked_ at her.” 

“The only sorry I am right now is sorry for you, you pathetic coward. Couldn’t even face off with me without there being witnesses.” Burr’s hands were balled into fists. “You disgust me.” 

Prevost’s face turned bright purple, drawing his fist back, presumably to hit Burr. 

The doors to the pizza place burst open once again, and in stormed Theodosia Bartow. 

“You sneaky son of a bitch!” It was unclear who she was talking to as she stood in between Burr and Prevost. “Thinking you were off defending my honor when all you’re doing is humiliating yourself in front of everyone!” She gestured wildly around the room, “And you, Mr. Prevost—it’s not like you’ve ever been there for me before! Only when your precious reputation is in danger of being ruined do you come running back to me! 

“Oh, and little Burr. Off being a sneaky little weasel, thinking you could deal with this without me knowing?! Well, fuck you both! Do you guys think that you’re the only two guys in the world? I’m pretty fucking amazing, if I do say so myself!” She flipped her hair in Burr’s face as she turned to face Prevost. “Not that _you’ve_ ever bothered to tell me that, Jacques! Maybe I’ll find some guy who will actually respect me as a human being, you dicks! Fuck off!” 

Theodosia stormed out of the restaurant, Doc Martens hitting heavily on the tile floor as her braided hair streamed out behind her. Burr followed her out immediately, with Prevost close on his heels. 

The man behind the counter shook his head at where Burr and Prevost had stood, then went back to wiping down the counter. 

Laurens looked at Alex, his eyes wide. “Holy shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lams flangst! (mostly fluff this time, yay!) And Burr/Theodosia misery! Yay! Thanks for reading, and if you'd drop a comment, that would be awesome. See you next week!


	17. ~valentine's day special~

“You look nice.” 

“So do you.”

Deborah always tried to dress as nondescriptly as possible, in neutral colors and jeans. And it was hard for Hercules to ditch his workout clothes. But today, she was wearing a red shirt and a skirt and flats, and he had thrown on a white button-up over jeans. Deborah looked at his feet. He was still wearing his usual Adidas. “Bro.” 

“I know. Some things never change.” 

“Some things can’t be changed. Never change your shoes, bro.” 

“Thanks, bro. I love your hair. It looks awesome.” 

“Thanks, Herc! Now close your eyes.” Deborah got out the gym card she had gotten for her boyfriend. “Okay. Open them.” 

“Bro!” 

Deborah grinned at how surprised and happy he looked. 

“Okay, now you close your eyes, Debbie.” Mulligan searched through his bag, finally grasping his present for her. “Okay, open.” 

“Bro!” 

Debbie looked so ecstatic. Mulligan had gotten her old-fashioned steampunk goggles. He tossed them at her, and she pulled them on. “There. Now you’re a real hacker.” 

“Oh, come on. I was always a real hacker.” 

“Suuure,” Mulligan said sarcastically. 

Debbie kissed him. “Shut up, bro.” 

“I love you, bro.”

XXXXX

Lafayette couldn’t help but feel a bit melancholy on Valentine’s Days. He missed France a lot of the time, but that was always dampened by how happy he was in the US. His mother lived in the US with him, and Lafayette didn’t care about his father. He had friends back in France, but he had amazing friends in Yonkers, too. 

The one thing that America couldn’t replace was Adrienne. He knew that they were just teenagers, but they had grown up together, and it seemed almost natural that they would date. They had each tried dating other people, but in the end, Lafayette’s thoughts always came back to her. They texted every day and called every week, bt it wasn’t the same as being in person. He was happy that they had managed to keep up a relationship over an ocean, and his heart leapt as Adrienne finally opened up her Skype. 

“Gilly!” 

“Adrienne!” 

She made a hugging gesture, and Lafayette did the same. “Happy Valentine’s Day !” 

“You too!” Lafayette pulled the small teddy bear he had gotten her on screen. “Here’s your present. You can have it if you come to America.” He waggled his eyebrows at her. 

“I’m working on it, Gilly.” She pulled a jewelry box onto screen, and opened it to show a simple necklace with a perfectly symmetrical heart dangling from it. “And here’s yours.” 

“I love it.” Lafayette traced the place on his neck where the necklace would hang. “It’s going to look fabulous on me.” 

“Everything looks fabulous on you.” 

“Aw, thanks, hon.” Lafayette settled himself into a more comfortable position. “Okay, you said that Louis and Marie were having trouble? Now, tell me everything.”

Gossip would always be their mutual true love.

XXXXX

Alex and John sat together in Alex’s old, beat-up Volkswagen Beetle. Alex was tracing the veins on John’s wrist. John wanted to throw up and kiss Alex at the same time. Well, not throw up while kissing him but he felt sick and in love at the same time—like there were giant moths wrestling in his stomach.

“I told you not to do anything for Valentine’s Day.”

Alex shrugged. “We’re not. We’re just going to the library to study.” He smiled sweetly at John. “I booked us a study room.”

“You know that’s where the seniors go to hook up?”

Alex snickered. “I promise I’m not going to try to seduce you.”

It was around six when they arrived at the library, the last traces of the sunset lingering in the clouds, turning them candy heart-pink. Alex had pulled his hand out of John’s grip, and John missed the warmth more than he thought he would.

“Okay.” Alex dumped his bags on the table in the small study room. There was one table and three chairs, with one window half-covered by curtains and a door with a tiny window near the top.

John settled himself into one of the chairs, watching Alex pull various objects out of his bags. A container of sandwiches, store-bought cupcakes, and a bottle of water.

“Classy,” John smirked.

“Oh, shut up,” Alex laughed, reaching over to grab John’s hand. He sat in the chair across from him. “I actually have something for you.”

John felt a blush creep across his face. “Oh come on, Alex, I didn’t get anything for you.”

“No, seriously.” Alex took a deep breath. “I just wanted to tell you something.”

The silence pressed on John’s chest. Was he breaking up with him? That would be shitty. Maybe he was professing his love in some dramatic way. That would be less shitty.

“I just wanted to say that these last few months have been some of the best in my life. Uh—with you. And you really mean a lot to me. I know that it’s just sophomore year, but I can see us together for a really long time. And I want you to know that no matter what, I will always stay by your side and be with you. I love you so much. So I wanted to give you this.”

Oh fuck, John was going to cry. Was that ring box? Was Alex proposing? Holy shit. Now John really thought he was going to puke.

“It’s a promise ring, don’t worry,” Alex reassured John. Shit, had he looked as sick as John felt. Alex passed the box to John so he could open it himself.

John’s hands were kind of shaking as he opened the box. It was a pretty simple ring, a plain silver band. Well shit, now he was crying.

“You don’t have to wear it. I know how your dad is. But—”

He was interrupted by John’s mouth on his.

“I love you so much.” John whispered.

“I love you too. Oh my god. I love you too.” Alex was kind of laughing against John, “I love you I love you I love you.”

XXXXX

Aaron looked over the board. His time was running out. He took the rook and moved it to a position where it threatened Theodosia’s queen. 

Theodosia smirked. “Your mistake.” She moved a knight to take the rook. 

“No, yours.” Aaron slid a bishop across the board, knocking the knight out of play. Knights were more useful in the beginning of the game, yes, and they were getting to the end, but it still felt good to make an offensive play against Theodosia. So often, their games were him desperately trying to defend himself from her cold, calculated attacks. Though Aaron didn’t look it, he had never been the best at chess. Monopoly, though...that was where he should be feared. He not only had a natural talent at the game, but excelled at finding law-related reasons that he should be given extra money. 

“You are a fool, my dear Aaron.” 

Aaron realized that he had left his king undefended from the side, and Theodosia took advantage of it, threatening the king with a rook. Biting his lip, Aaron moved the king out of danger, but Theodosia moved in her queen. “Check.” 

He moved the king again. 

“Check.” 

He brought in a knight to block the threat of her rook. 

Theodosia took the knight. “Check.” 

King to A-3. 

“Check and mate.” 

Aaron flicked his king, knocking it over. “You win again.” 

“Bartow sixty-three, Burr eleven.” 

“You were keeping count?” 

“Come now, my dear, I’m sure that you have a notebook somewhere documenting all of your horrendous losses.” 

“Now, now, that’s just your own insecurity speaking. I have more pride than that.” 

“Do you? Do you really?” 

Without his eyes leaving her face, Aaron picked up a pawn and threw it at her. It lightly hit her shoulder, falling down. Aaron gave her a rare smile. “My pride speaks for itself.”

She reached forward, squishing his cheeks together. “You know, I love you.” 

“Please don’t do that.” 

“Oh, does that also offend your pride, my beautiful Aaron? I’m sorry, I thought that someone as amazing as you could take this. After all—”

Aaron removed her hands from his facing, kissing each one of them. He looked at the clock. “Oh, shit. We had reservations.” 

Theodosia snorted. “Let’s not worry about those now. I’d much rather be here. Just you, me—”

“And the cliche that is our lives.” Aaron pulled out a necklace. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

Theodosia rolled her eyes and grinned. “You big sap.” She gently took the necklace from his hands and looked at it. It was simple, a silver chain with a square diamond. She turned the diamond over and on the back there were initials—TB and AB.

She turned red and was embarrassed to realize she was kind of crying. She sniffled a little bit.

“Oh, you’re crying? I’m the most romantic person in the world, I know. You can thank me—”

“It’s not you. It’s just…” Theodosia was reaching for an excuse. She hated crying in front of people. “I didn’t realize that my initials stood for tuberculosis until now.” 

“Sure.”

“Can you put in on?”

Burr took the necklace from her and clasped it around her neck, taking a deep breath.

“Oh no, I know that face,” Theo teased. “Are you going to give me a speech?”

Burr smiled. “Just a little one.”

Theo rolled her eyes, fiddling with the pendant. “Go on.”

“We’ve been through some shit. I won’t go into it—” They both snickered “—but it’s been worth it. For me, at least. I would do it all again and again, just to be standing with you here. I love you so much, Theodosia.”

Theodosia was silent.

“Uh … Theodosia?”

“I love you too, Aaron, but now it’s my turn for the speech.” Theo smiled down at him, “Like you said, we’ve been through some shit. Unlike you, I wouldn’t go through it again. I wish it could have been easy from the get-go, that we could have always been that insufferably cheesy couple from our first date. But I think all the drama that we went through made our relationship stronger now. I wouldn’t trade you for the world, my Aaron Burr.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this so sweet my teeth are falling out  
> to all my fellow tragically single people who compensate for their lack of a lover by reading about fictional characters' relationship: this is for u  
> also assume that this is some time into the future lol since the last time we left off theo and burr they were fighting


	18. America's Favorite Fighting Frenchman

Lafayette looked back out at the group of people who’d come to help him today. Hamilton and Laurens still had detention every day after school, despite the fact that it had been three months since their showdown with Lee. Still, Lee’s family had a lot of influence...so, yeah, that was probably it. 

Surprisingly, Burr was there. Lafayette had never expected to see Burr here. He was fairly sure that Burr was straight. But then again, maybe Burr understood more about being kept from a happy relationship than Lafayette had assumed. After Bartow and Prevost had finally broken up, Burr and Bartow had started going out. They were actually...adorable together. ( _Would that just be adorable, since it’s a cognate?_ Lafayette wondered.) Anyway, they were more adorable than Aaron Burr had any right to be. 

“Alright. Let’s take a vote on putting up posters around town,” Lafayette said. 

Ever since Laurens and Hamilton had been put out of commission, Mr. Washington had let Lafayette lead the bones of what would hopefully eventually become the school GSA. More and more people had been turning up, bringing posters, cookies, and support. There were quite a few people that Lafayette recognized as being out. It made him happy to see people starting to have courage and pride in who they were. It broke his heart that there were still the connards around school who refused to accept their peers. 

Still, Lafayette was finally stepping up—taking the metaphorical horse by the reins and clearing a path for his people to follow. He wasn’t going to stop until they had succeeded. 

The vote was overwhelmingly yes, and Lafayette grinned. The movement for a GSA (and for getting rid of King) had been gaining momentum around school. Lee had stepped down, and been replaced by de Berdt, which was a huge step forward. King...well, his addresses to the school had been threatening as usual. But still.   
Jacobins High had been sending over some people to help them with the art and just for manpower. Still, Lafayette just wished that Hamilton and Laurens weren’t stuck in detention every day after school, and were allowed to do extracurriculars. They would have been a big help.

“ _Merveilleux_. The posters on the first and second floors haven’t been torn down, which is great! But still, the ones on the third floor have been torn down. So, we need a team to replace those.” 

Peggy Schuyler and Sybil Ludington raised their hands. Lafayette nodded at them, wondering if he needed to redo . 

“We also have our formidable hackers—” Lafayette gestured to Mulligan and Sampson— “Trying to catch King.” They were all pretty sure that King was guilty of stealing school funds, and while they couldn’t quite prove it yet...well. Debbie was an amazing hacker, and Mulligan wasn’t bad either. 

Debbie flashed him a thumbs up. “We’ll find something.” 

“Keep Mulligan in check, Sampson!” 

The classroom laughed. 

“Alright. Everyone else—we’re going to be talking to people around the school and convincing them to join our revolution!” 

Mulligan shook his head slightly. Laf is so dramatic. Debbie squeezed his hand, a slight smile on her face, and they flipped open their laptops. They had to find something. 

“Alright, everyone! Break!” 

XXXXX

At the next meeting, another six people had joined their number. Lafayette arrived slightly late. The cookies had already been eaten. Mulligan and Debbie were making out in the back corner. Ludington and Revere were arguing about whether cross-country or track was better. Eliza and Peggy Schulyer were arguing about something while Angelica talked with Madison. 

Laurens and Hamilton were still absent, and Lafayette wished they were here. It was hard leading, and Hamilton was honestly a better speaker than he was. Not that Lafayette wasn’t awesome (Who’s the best? C’est moi), but Hamilton...that boy was something else. 

“Alright! Order! I see we have some new members, _merveilleux_! You six can take care of putting up more posters on the third floor. Fuck the third floor.” 

A few people laughed at his frankness. 

“We’ve also decided to be as passive-aggressive as possible and put up a bunch of posters outside of King’s office. Inside, if you can manage it. Eliza Schuyler, Mrs. Warren likes you. Try to get her to help you.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“All of you sports people, we’ve discussed this, but make sure that you’re spreading the...non-hate...when you’re at practice. Especially you, Mulligan, Gates, Allen, Buford. You too, Revere and Ludington.” 

Nods from around the room. 

“We need a more united front before we expand out of this school. So let’s get united! Break!” 

XXXXX

At the first March meeting, there were a few surprises. 

Philip had brought Special Schuyler Brownies, which were always amazing. Jefferson had emailed them about how things were going in France (nostalgia abounded) and given them some advice that was...minorly useful. 

They were getting off-topic, though, just having a meeting to discuss their own experiences, and while Lafayette enjoyed doing that, he felt like he needed to be getting more done. 

Then, Sybil Ludington stood up. She took a deep breath, and started speaking.

“I just want to say that having this...community, I guess? Has made thing so much easier. So much better. So thanks, Lafayette.”

“No problem, Ludington.” 

“Also…” Ludington pointed to herself. “Gay.” 

Then she sat down. 

Lafayette was not going to cry, because as beautiful as it was to see someone come out and then say that they had been helped by him, he was a manly man— _homme viril_ —and he didn’t cry. 

That was when the girl walked through the door of the room. 

Lafayette stared at her for a moment. Because there was no way that was—

“Adrienne?” 

Adrienne rolled her eyes. “Duh.” 

Lafayette threw himself at her, and now he was starting to cry, because it had been so long since he had seen anyone from home, and Adrienne was amazing, and Lafayette had missed her. 

“What are you doing here?”

“I thought that it would be nice to visit.” 

“Omigod, I can’t believe that you’re here…” 

“I love you, Gil,” she said, and then they were kissing.

And oh, fuck, when he was kissing Adrienne, it was hard to believe that anything could go wrong.

XXXXX

Of course, by the next week, things had gone horribly wrong. 

“I quit the team,” Abraham Buford told them. 

“Buford...why?” Lafayette asked. 

Buford was the only person that Lafayette knew was out as pansexual. As a leader on the soccer team, he was a great face for them. Lafayette knew that things had been hard for him, but still…

Mulligan glared at him. “He was bullied off, Lafayette. Don’t push it.” 

“Look, Buford...I’m really sorry.” Lafayette hoped that his accent wasn’t getting in the way of Buford understanding him. It got stronger whenever he was upset. And he was very upset. 

The school had seemed to be unifying. The fucking third floor, where all of King’s senior supporters had lockers, was a disaster, of course, but still. The rest of the school had been getting more accepting. There had been less bullying. More people coming to meetings. 

Why was it that people refused to accept change? Lafayette was enraged. How was he supposed to ever bring happiness and unification anywhere if people refused to ignore their bigotry? And now, Buford had decided not to play soccer. Soccer made him happy. People shouldn’t have given up happiness just because of what other people thought. 

“Fuck the world,” Lafayette said. 

The next day, posters were down on the second floor, as well.

XXXXX

In April, Mr. Washington was there, and Lafayette wanted to either hug the man or punch him in the face.

“Mr. du Motier.” 

“Lafayette.” 

Mr. Washington winced. “Mr. Lafayette. My apologies.” 

“No need, sir.” 

“Well, you seem to have done a good job around here.” 

Lafayette laughed. “Well, not for lack of trying.” 

More posters everywhere. Angelica and Cornelia had been giving speeches after school about acceptance. Peggy and Sybil had been putting up posters at bus stops, and they were almost always torn down (Do we need city permits? Fuck it, whatever), but it was a start. 

“What do you need?” 

“Excuse me?” 

“What do you need from the teachers?” 

“Sir, I don’t know if…” 

“We’re all fed up with King, Mr. Lafayette. It’s time that we started doing something to make this school a better place.” 

Lafayette was a _homme viril_ , and manly men didn’t cry. 

But maybe just this once. 

XXXXX

“Washington was at the meeting,” Lafayette told Laurens and Hamilton the next day. They were holding hands under the table, thinking that they were sneaky, but not much got past Lafayette. 

“That’s cool,” Hamilton said, being uncharacteristically quiet. He alternated between anger and extreme embarrassment when they discussed Mr. Washington.

“He really wants King gone. He cares about this school.” 

“I know, Laf.” 

“I’m just saying, if you asked him if you could go to GSA…” 

“It’s not his choice.” 

“But still!” 

“Lafayette,” Laurens warned, being adorable and overprotective and stupid. Lafayette shut up.

XXXXX

“We need Hamilton,” Lafayette told the classroom at the beginning of May. “Hamilton and Laurens.” 

“They’ve been banned from after-school activities,” Mr. Washington reminded them. 

They had been banned from the Valentine’s Dance, too, but all four of them had just gotten pizza anyway. Laurens and Hamilton had just ended up dancing to nothing. They were like cotton candy, making his teeth hurt with their sweet-as-sugar relationship goals. But Adrienne was here now, so...anyway. 

“Still. We need them here. Hamilton has some great ideas, and he’s a great speaker. He needs to come in eventually, and it’s been months since the incident. He deserves to be here. So does Laurens. No one knows how hard this is like he does.” 

Mr. Washington looked apprehensive. But there was hope on his face, too. “I’ll see what I can do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> L A R G E B A G U E T T E  
> comments and kudos much appreciated babes ;))))


	19. Greatness Lies in You

“Mr. Hamilton?” 

“Mr. Washington.”

“I’d like to tell you that the ban on activities has been lifted for you.” 

“Oh.” Alex’s heart started racing with excitement. “Wait, really? Because that’s amazing, but King—Principal King—hasn’t told me anything—” 

Mr. Washington gave a small laugh. “Well, it’s not official. But we won’t tell him that.” 

“Wait, really?!” 

_Mr. Washington is super badass, I guess he’s not mad at me anymore? Oh, thank God!_

“Yes. And Mr. Lafayette—” 

“Wants me in the GSA thing! Yes! Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Alex went red. 

“No problem.” 

“Well, is that—is that all?” 

“Yes.” 

Alex turned and practically sprinted down the hall, eager to get to the GSA— _I should tell John, too_ —but Mr. Washington called, “Wait.” 

“Yes?”

“Can we talk?”

“Yes. Of course.”

Mr. Washington opened the door to his room. “Come in, please. Take a seat.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“Mr. Hamilton...I think that obviously, we had a bit of a falling out a few months ago.” 

Alex’s face could have fried an egg. “Yes. Absolutely. You’re absolutely right. Not that I want you to be right. I was being—”

“There’s no need for—actually, an apology is nice. But I’d like to talk about why you can’t act like you did—” 

“I mean, I think I understand—” 

“Besides the obvious.” 

“Oh. Okay.” 

“Look, Mr. Hamilton. I am a black man. Now, I am a black man who has made it pretty far. I consider myself to be living a good life. But whenever I do anything wrong, I have to be aware of the fact that people are judging every African-American in the United States by what I do. Bigotry works like that.

“And Mr. Hamilton, you don’t necessarily have it any better than I do. Excuse me if I’m being offensive, but you are an immigrant. You are not white. And you are in a relationship with another man. Not to assume Laurens’s gender, but…” 

“You can say that I’m bi, Mr. Washington.” All of the words had fled from Alex’s head. He didn’t know what he could say. 

“People are going to judge you—” 

“Obviously, Mr. Washington. But that’s not fair! And I don’t see why I need to set myself by different standards. It’s not my fault that the world sucks sometimes. The world’s what needs to change, not me. Well, I mean, I need to change some things about myself, duh, but—” 

“Mr. Hamilton.” 

Alex gave a brief laugh. “Sorry.” 

“No problem.” Mr. Washington looked deeply sad, and much older than he was. “I know that the world isn’t fair. And yes, the world has the responsibility to change, not you. We’re shooting for equality. Or equity, or something. But Mr. Hamilton, we aren’t at that point yet.” 

“Okay, but…” 

“When you insult others, people are watching. When you do something that they don’t like, some people will apply their opinion of you to every immigrant, every Latino, every bisexual person—” 

“But—” 

“And Mr. Hamilton, you are person who is no doubt going to very far in life. And people are always going to be watching. If you don’t find a way to make yourself less…” 

“Likely to shoot of my mouth?” 

“...yes, that, then you aren’t going to be able to get to the places that you deserve to be. And Mr. Hamilton, the world will be all the worse for it.” 

“...okay, Mr. Washington.” 

“The world is going to have its eyes on you, Mr. Hamilton. It’s not fair, but it will. But more than that, history has its eyes in you. History can tell the story of a brilliant young man who rose up, but history will be seen through the lense of the victors. You have to hold yourself to a higher standard than many other people. Yes, it’s not fair. But it’s necessary.” 

“History has its eyes on me.” 

“History has its eyes on you.” 

“That seems kind of obnoxious to say, though.” 

“I believe that it eventually will, Mr. Hamilton.” 

Alex wanted to cry. “Well.” 

“One more thing.” 

“Alright.” 

“In the end, you won’t have control over who tells your story. So make sure that whoever tells your story can’t ignore what a brilliant person you are. I believe in you.”  
“C-Can you say that again?” 

Alex was crying now. 

“I believe in you, Alexander.” 

Alex didn’t want to cry in front of Mr. Washington, but...it was too late, anyway. “Thank you, Mr. Washington.” 

“Get out there, Alexander. Lead the school. I know you have it in you. I will always believe in you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yas hamilton go fite some people


	20. Get the Job Done

By June 16th, the plans had been finalized.

On June 25th, they were marching. 

School was ending next week but this would have to be enough. 

Alex took Laurens’s hand one last time before going to the head of the mass of students. He recognized so many faces, and this group seemed to be the majority of the school. There were maybe a hundred faces that he didn’t recognize. Lafayette had said that they were from Jacobins High, their sister institution. 

_“Monsieur_ Hamilton!” 

_“Monsieur_ Lafayette.” 

“Finally leading a group.” 

Alex laughed. “I don’t think I’ve ever been more ready to do something.” 

“Good. We could use a confident leader.” 

“You’re doing an amazing job.” 

“We immigrants seem to be getting this fucking job done.” 

They clasped hands for a moment, before Alex spoke again. “Will you and Adrienne go back to France?” 

“Gotta change the world, Hamilton.” 

“Of course.” 

Lafayette grinned. “Let’s get this show on the road.” 

Alex went to the front of the crowd. 

He wondered if this would be the last thing he ever did in Yonkers. The year hadn’t been that bad. He had made friends. He had learned a lot. He didn’t want to leave. But if this did end up getting him expelled and sent back to Nevis...well, it would be worth it. At least he would have done something worth remembering and changed the world in his own small way. 

Then he looked back at John. He remembered that John still needed to fight his own battle with his father, but more importantly, that Alex really thought that this relationship might have been the earth-shattering, soulmates kind. Alex wasn’t a stranger to thinking he was in love, but this felt like the real thing. He had to get this job done. But he was going to stay with John no matter what it took. 

“Hey, guys,” Alex called. 

The crowd quieted. 

“Let’s get this march going!” 

They had finalized the route, the posters, the signs, the music, the chants...everything. They had practiced everything. And so Alex started the first chant. 

“Black, white, gay, straight! Love does not discriminate!” 

They made their way down the street, stomping past the school. King was looking out the window, glaring at them. But there was no one coming to stop them. 

“Black, white, gay, straight, love does not discriminate!” 

They crossed their first street, making their way to City Hall, maybe a mile away. At the quarter-mile point, they stopped, and Angelica Schuyler made her way to the front. She was the first speaker. 

“I’m straight, but I am the proud sister of six LGBT siblings. I stand here to demand that we see a school with more acceptance. Every person in the world deserves happiness. Every person in the world deserves basic human rights. And it’s time that we, here in Yonkers, demand those rights for everyone! Stand together now, despite orientation, race, religion, gender, or anything that the world tells you should divide you, and demand those rights!” 

The crowd cheered, and they moved on. 

Alexander forced himself to stand with confidence. With every step that they took, his heart was racing more and more, and the butterflies were starting to come to his stomach. He had never thought that his life would take him here. It had always been about fitting in as best as he could. 

But here, he had a chance at happiness. 

A chance to let other people like him be happy. 

_History has its eyes on all of us. It’s our job to start changing the world._

Together, forward they marched. 

Alex knew it was stupid to pretend that his high school march was the same as the world-changing ones that had happened before him, but, well...it felt that way to him. Alex knew, then and there, that he was never going to stop fighting. He would make his life all about changing the world. 

_The world has its eyes on us._

They stopped again, and Mulligan came to the front to give his speech. The first part of it was about the pressure that came from being in school, and how that could lead to a lot of feelings of anger towards everyone, and how people had to get over themselves and accept each other. But then— 

“Me and Sampson have been doing some work reviewing...the school accounting books. And as it turns out, some money has been going awry. Now, not to accuse anyone...but we demand accountability!” 

The crowd roared. 

_Having a spy works wonders,_ Alex reflected. 

“So, yeah, are we going to listen to the dictates of a dude who—I’m not saying that he embezzled school funds, but he totally _embezzled school funds?!_ No!” 

They moved forward. 

They were starting to march in step with each other, and every thud of feet sent a thrill through Alex. 

_Changing the world. I feel like I’m changing the world._

Finally, they made it to city hall. 

There were a few camera people there. 

And some police. 

Alex’s heart started thumping as he took in all this, and he was again struck with a feeling of being a part of something much bigger than himself. They continued marching, not slowing down at the sight of the police, and Alex had a healthy respect for authority, but he still felt a bit of _fuck the system_ pride. 

On the steps of city hall, they did a few more chants. Several sports players, including Mulligan, Revere, and Ludington, all spoke about being queer in sports and about being good straight allies. Philip Schulyer spoke about the importance of community and of letting people know that they were loved. Alex imagined that the people inside of the building must have been at least _annoyed_ with them, and that was kind of glorious. 

“Hamilton,” Lafayette whispered. 

“What?” 

“Get up there.” 

Alex hadn’t been planning on speaking, but his heart jumped at the idea. “Really?” 

“Yes. Surprise, bee-otch! You’re speaking!” 

Alex started making his way through the crowd to get to the steps of City Hall. 

_“Nous bavardons pour les oies!”_

“What the fuck, Laf?” Alex laughed. 

He got to the steps and ascended. The crowd got quiet as he faced them. Alex had no idea what he was going to say. But that had never stopped him before. 

“Hey, everyone. I’m Alexander Hamilton. I’m Latino and proudly bi. Some of you might know me, because apparently I’m the first sophomore to ever have been allowed to sit in during student council. I know that there was a trending hashtag called #AlexanderHammyHam, so maybe you were following that. I don’t know.” 

The crowd laughed, and Alex, now with a better idea of what he was going to say, started talking. “I think that a big part of my life is thinking about failure. Like, what am I going to do wrong next? How am I going to mess something up?” The crowd laughed again, and Alex smiled. “Well, that was a mean thing to laugh at. But still. And I think that right now, there’s such a huge opportunity to fail. But that’s just because what we’ve done here today is so impressive. The fact that we did this at all means that we’re not going to fail. And I’m not afraid of failing, because right now, I’m surrounded by friends and people who support me, and I think that that’s just the most beautiful thing.” 

He found John in the crowd, with a grin on his face and possible tears in his eyes and felt a strange sense come over him. Alex had told John that he loved him, many times. Still, Alex knew that they were just graduating high school sophomores and that those relationships didn’t last. But looking at John’s face, Alex _wanted_ it to last. He wanted John to be a part of his life forever. “I think that possibly the most important thing is creating a unified front. Okay, so we’ve got a national community going, or at least the start of one. But we still need to make sure that we’re communicating with allies all around the country and that no one can accuse our community of being weak and separated. We need to move as one, for now, and for the rest of our lives as we continue to fight to make sure that all humans get the respect and rights that they deserve. “Right now, we have a shot at making our town a more accepting place, where people can live their lives and feel happiness without feeling fear as an automatically related emotion. I am so proud that all of you have worked to make sure that we have a shot. And after we win—and I say _when_ , and not _if_ —we’re going to embark on a huge experiment to see if we, the youth of America and of the world, can really create a unified community and a more accepting world. And I believe that we can do it. I believe in all of us. I believe in love. I believe in acceptance—” 

The doors of City Hall slammed open, and Alex practically jumped. _Oh, shit, are they going to arrest me?_

But it was just a frazzled-looking man wearing a suit. “What do you want?” 

“Excuse me?” Hamilton asked, not sure whether he was going to say something wrong. He stood tall, refusing to be afraid. “We would like acceptance! We would like the right to love! And we would like a GSA! We would also like King gone, and I think that that outlines our demands pretty well—” the rest of his words were swallowed by a roar from the crowd. 

“Well, wonderful! You can have it! Now leave! We’re trying to discuss zoning laws in South Yonkers, and you’re making it very difficult!” 

Alex had a feeling that this guy thought they were just stupid kids acting far beyond their station, but he didn’t even care about that, because this man had told them they could have what they wanted. “Wait, _really?!”_

“Perhaps if you would let the work day continue without interruption, we could actually get to our discussion about the leadership at Continental High School! Now, Mr…” 

“Hamilton.” 

“Mr. Hamilton, you’re distracting us from our meeting!” 

“Mr…” 

“Rochambeau.” 

“Mr. Rochambeau, I don’t think that it’s bad we’re distracting you. We’re guaranteed our rights to suffrage and assembly by the Constitution. We’re also guaranteed our right to adequate leadership that _we_ actually _like_ by the Declaration of Independence. For too long, Principal King has been a detriment to our school and wellbeing, and we won’t stop until he’s gone and we have our GSA!” 

“Fine! But we still have to work!” 

Rochambeau went back inside, slamming the door, and Alex turned to the crowd. For a moment, there was silence. 

Then there were just cheers. Alex caught sight of John, but lost him as the crowd began moving, hugging each other and laughing and crying, and all Alex could think was, _holy shit, did that really just happen?!_ It had worked! They had really been able to change their part of the world! People had _listened!_

A window opened, and Rochambeau poked his head out. “You’re distracting us!” 

The crowd began moving away, and as Alex moved through it, trying to find his friends, people hugged him or called out to him. He recognized so many of them, and felt pride. After sixteen years, he had found a school that he loved and that loved him back. A school where he could be happy. 

He found Mulligan and Lafayette in the crowd, and then John, and the four of them broke off from the crowd into an alleyway. John threw his arms around Alex’s neck, and Alex kissed him, until Mulligan loudly cleared his throat. 

For a moment, they all just stared at each other, until Lafayette said, “Alexander, you were amazing!” 

“It’s all you, Lafayette!” Alex cheered. “You got this together! Without you, we wouldn’t have done this!” 

“We’re all amazing!” Lafayette said. 

“We won!” Mulligan shouted. 

“We won!” 

“We won!” 

“We won!” 

XXXXX

Alex was woken the next day by a call from John. Eagerly, he picked up the phone, noticing that Mulligan and Lafayette were connected to the call.

“Did you see the news?” John said, sounding terrified and at the same time completely elated. 

“No,” said Mulligan. 

“Well...yesterday, the Supreme Court…” 

“What?” 

“They legalized gay marriage! It’s a federal law now, it’s legal, it’s _legal,_ guys, they legalized gay marriage…” John sounded like he was crying, and Alex worried that Mr. Laurens would hear, but at the same time he didn’t care, because _the world had turned upside-down…_

“Wow,” Alex said, starting to cry himself. “Wow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rochambeau is my new aesthetic
> 
> And HammyHam isn't afraid to cry
> 
> “Nous bavardons pour les oies!” = We honk for geese
> 
> If you see any formatting errors, tell us. We're both really tired and couldn't edit this quite as well, sorry :(
> 
> Finally, with this chapter it seems appropriate to say (in case we haven't gotten this across yet) that everyone should have the right to love, and that this fic is a space where we're ready to support everyone. We're super excited over Finland's new law. We love y'all! Stay brave and amazing, and see you next update!


	21. I'm So Blue

“How did this happen, Sammy?” 

“I don’t know, Principal King,” Samuel Seabury said to the closed door. King had been inside for days, ever since the march and then the decision. It had been a harrowing few days for all of them. It was still a confusing world to navigate, now that the law was on the side of those that Seabury knew were wrong. 

“I just don’t understand! I love them so much, and yet so many of them hate me! I thought that I was _loved_ , but _no!_ It’s just you and me and a few others.” 

“Mr. King, I think that if you left your office, things would be better.” Seabury, a senior, could remember the days when Principal King had truly been a leader. For a long time, though people such as _Hamilton_ might not have remembered, King had kept the best interests of the school at heart. As far as Seabury could see, he still did. He admired the way that King managed to keep himself together and keep control on the school despite the fact that they disliked him. 

Well, he _had_ been keeping control. But now…

“Sammy, do you think I should make an address?” 

“Perhaps.” 

“It’ll fix _everything!_ ” 

XXXXX

Alex was still floating on a combination high of the Supreme Court decision, King being kicked out of the school, and sophomores and freshmen being allowed to be on the student council when the intercom crackled on. 

It was two days before the end of school, and Alex supposed that King must have wanted to have his last hurrah. Sure enough, King gave a small vocal warmup. It was almost endearing, except that King was at the top of Alex’s hate list. 

“They saaaaay…” 

Mr. Washington sighed, stopping writing on the board to listen. 

“That I’m not a good principal, and that I’ll have to...pay. Yes, that rhymes, excellent… moving on…actually, no. No songs. You’re not good enough to get a song out of me! They say that _I’m_ the crazy one? You’re all insane! You’re cheating by bringing City Hall into this, they’re too fed up with everything, and then having your stupid spy-hacker people review the account books? Ugh! Now I’m in the middle of a civil suit! You guys are the worst! I’m so sad, so upset, so blue, so very blue. I thought that we had an agreement. I stay out of your way, and you stay out of mine, and I’m the boss. 

“Well, okay, obviously we had a miscommunication. You’re acting like disenamoured teenagers...which I guess makes sense.” 

“Mr. Washington, can you do something?” Eliza asked. 

“It’s Mr. Knox’s turn to deal with it,” Mr. Washington replied. 

“But you know what? Even though you treat me _horribly_ , I’ve got a question for you. 

“What comes next? What’s your plan? Do you have any idea who’s going to step up to be your leader? There’s no one as mighty and all-powerful as me! You’re never going to find someone like me! Never! And do you know how _hard_ it is to be the supreme leader of a bunch of ungrateful ingrates like you? No, you don’t because you haven’t done it! But now you’re on your own. And okay, I can hear you celebrating because you’re _jerks!_ Awesome! Wow! You think you’re _free_ or whatever! But you don’t have a fucking _clue_ , you _losers_ , because you’re going to tank this school in the _first year_ of your so-called _freedom!_ ” 

King took a deep breath. “And now I’m getting all worked up. Well. Anyway. It’s harder to do anything when it’s your call. You’ll be begging for me back by the end of your first year, _mark my fucking words_ , but I’ll be in a better place, and I’ll laugh. So have fun! But from now on, you’re own your own. I hope that you all just _die_ , and maybe—”

“Mr. King.” That was Mr. Knox’s voice. “You’re done. Please just...leave.” 

“You can’t make me, Henry!” 

“I’m Mr. Knox to you, Mr. King, and please leave before I call security. You were fired two days ago.” 

The intercom went off. 

“...do you think he’s right?” Revere asked. 

Mr. Washington shook his head. “He’s resorted to scare tactics. Or maybe he really believes what he said. But he’s wrong.” 

“We’re going to make this school amazing,” Lafayette said with confidence. 

“I like to think so, Mr. Lafayette. I do believe that having this complete overthrow in leadership is a good way to revolutionize the way we do things at this school. We can try some new policies, and while relatively radical, I think that they’ll help the school.” 

“Who’s up for the position?” Mulligan asked. 

“Several of us teachers. A few outside people.” 

“I think you should take it.” 

Mr. Washington turned back to the board. “We need to get back to the lesson.” 

“Oh, come on!” Alex said. “You teach social studies. Well, this is history. Or, at least for us. We should be able to discuss current events. We’re socially...studying.”

Mr. Washington had to hide his smile. “If you must know, it’s not my place to take it—” 

“Would you?” John asked. 

“Don’t be rude,” Eliza admonished, and then turned to Washington. “Would you?” 

Mr. Washington paused a moment. “Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello frens tis us back with another chapter of salty george™


	22. What to Say to You?

“I didn’t think you would actually show up,” Theodosia scowled at Burr’s appearance at the door of the wedding venue.

Burr shuffled his feet sheepishly. “Couldn’t leave you date-less.” 

“I thought that plus-ones were supposed to be _friends.”_

“You invited me, and yes, it was several months ago, but I didn’t want to be a liar.” 

“Yeah, okay.” She attempted to close the door in his face. 

“Wait!” Burr reached out and grabbed her arm, “Just—listen to me, please?” 

Theodosia rolled her eyes and shook off his arm, “I don’t want to hear it, Burr.” 

“Fine. Don’t hear it,” Burr dug around in his pocket, “Read it.” He held out a letter to her, “Just this one letter. And after that, Theodosia, I want a response. A real response. I messed up, yes. But I think that after all of _this,_ I deserve at least one straight response from you.” 

Burr worried that he had gone too far, but Theodosia took the letter warily. 

“Okay.” Burr nodded awkwardly and gestured to the parking lot, “I’ll just—wait.” He shuffled off towards his car, leaving Theo standing on the doorstep alone with the letter. 

“A letter,” Theodosia muttered to herself. “What a fucking nerd.” She walked into the building and made her way to the bathroom where she stood in a stall and stared at the letter in her hands, debating whether or not to read it. 

It wasn’t as if this was the first apology attempt that had been made towards her after the pizza parlor incident, but it was the first that Burr had made. Prevost had, of course, send countless bouquets of flowers that Theo had thrown out and left out of the garbage bin so she could be sure he would see them out on the street. When that had failed, Prevost had sent Edible Arrangements that she fed to her dog. 

But Burr—he had left her alone. She had debated about whether it was for better or worse. He was honoring her wishes, after all. And she had been rude to him when they had last seen each other. But Theodosia almost wished—well. It didn’t matter, because he hadn’t contacted her. 

Until now. 

Turning the letter around in her hands, she observed its cream color. It was nice paper, cardstock, fancy. But the handwriting was simple. She fiddled with the sealed edge of the envelope. 

What was the harm, anyway? If it was stupid, like Prevost’s notes on the flower bouquets, she could always flush it down the toilet and laugh. 

She tore at the envelope—there was something satisfying in ripping the fancy paper of it—and began reading. 

_Dear Theodosia,_

 _What to say to you?_

 _

We’ve known each other for a while now, and before I loved you (and I say that honestly, without any sarcasm) we were friends. I remember almost everything about you in those years, the way that you put beads in your hair, how you accidentally glued your hand to the wall once, how confident you were. You broke my nose for flirting with you, which was fair. You made me cry after the serious tongue-lashing you gave me (not the fun kind, but also fair). I’m man enough to admit it now. And then, somehow, even while you were with your boyfriend, you decided that you loved me. It wasn’t the best moment of my life. But it was near the top of the list. 

When we dated, I dedicated every day to you. I don’t say that to make you feel guilty. I say it because while you are brilliant and beautiful, and while I am not afraid to tell you how much you mean, too often you think that you’re not worth anything. And you are worth everything. You are worth dedication, and don’t forget that. Serious dating was never quite my style, but you changed that for me. You changed so much for me (and I thought I was so good already). I just hope that if you gain one thing out of this last year, it’s the knowledge that you’re worth love and dedication. 

Despite this, every moment spent with you built me up and tore me apart, because I knew what we were doing was wrong. It was so wrong, and I can admit that now. We were lying—I was lying. We could continue this with no one getting hurt. We were wrong. I was wrong. And despite that, it was hard to regret it. 

We were wrong, but I want to be right. I want us to be right. And I know that I should not have tried to handle things with Prevost myself. I should have told you. I regret that. And I am so sorry. I’ll do whatever it takes to be with you again, and I don’t mean that it a creepy, stalkerish manner. I mean that when I am with you, I find myself changing for the better, and I am willing to change. I have loved you for so long. I still love you, even though our love has ripped us apart from what seems like beyond repair. I’ll make a million mistakes in being with you again, but I promise I can make it right. For you. 

I may not stand firm on many things, but I know one with for sure. 

I love you. 

You don’t have to listen to what I’m saying to you. You don’t have to be with me again. You can throw out my letter like you threw away all of Prevost’s apology attempts. But at least read the rest of this. You may not love me back. But just know that when you go on into the world and kick ass at whatever you do, I’ll be somewhere out there rooting for you. 

Yours always, 

Aaron Burr.

_

Theodosia finished reading the letter and found she didn’t quite want to flush it away. But what could she do? Did she really want him back after everything? Theodosia knew that she had been a big part of the disaster that had gone down. She wasn’t afraid to take responsibility. But she hated the way that Aaron had basically confirmed to Jacques that there was something between them, and then tried to deal with the problem himself. Theodosia valued people who treated her like a real, adult human being, and Aaron hadn’t done that. 

Meanwhile, Burr was standing in the middle of a parking lot. The very same parking lot he walked out to half an hour ago, intending to leave, but not quite able. What would Theo do? It had taken a lot of pride sacrificing to write the letter and he really hoped she would respond. But who was he to expect a response? He had hurt her more. 

But Jacques hadn’t treated her well either. She had been _relieved_ when he had left transferred to Georgia so she wouldn’t have to deal with his egotistical tendencies and sheer dickishness. Was it a case of choosing the lesser of two evils? Or would she do as Aaron said and leave them both? She didn’t really need either of them to be herself. Maybe she would go and kick ass just to spite them both. 

_Jesus._ Theodosia hated the way that she was acting. She wanted nothing more than to be a strong, independent woman who was able to succeed and feel some sense of self-worth without a boyfriend. Still, Theodosia had grown up thinking that she was worthless. It made it hard to feel like she could be someone who mattered. Aaron… 

He made her feel like she _mattered._

But that wasn’t exactly the criteria to marry someone! And who was thinking of marriage, anyway? Certainly not her! 

Aaron paced nervously next to his car. Should he stay longer? Should he leave? Should he expect any response at all? He had demanded a response from her, yes, and Aaron felt that he deserved it. He had spent months with her without giving anyone any indication that they were together. Theodosia had even claimed, once or twice, that she loved him. Did he deserve a response? Or was he just being selfish? 

Theodosia’s phone pinged. 

**sissie:** _u okay? saw you w burr_

**Theoo:** _yea i’m good. be there soon_

She stared at her phone. How many times had she stayed up on her phone texting Burr late into the night? How many times had they had hours-long conversations about their relationship and each other? How many times had they snuck around at the park, holding hands and talking nonsense? They had been so in love. Theo missed it, she realized suddenly. She missed them together and happy. But she wasn’t sure if she missed Aaron. 

Maybe Burr should just leave. Clearly she hadn’t read his letter at all, or at least wasn’t going to respond. Burr got into his car and started it, preparing to back out of his parking spot. 

Theodosia alternated between running and walking out of the bathroom and out of the church. She _did_ miss Burr. God, she missed him so much. They were like oil and water, fire and ice, but they worked, and she loved him so much. More than she had ever loved Prevost. So maybe she was being an idiot. 

Damn that. Damn the consequences. 

About to leave, Burr paused. Someone had just run out of the church, a paper clutched in their hands. Was it— 

Theo paused at the edge of the parking lot, staring at one of the cars. Could it be— 

“Theo!” Burr leapt out of his car. 

“Aaron!” She was practically in tears. 

_Is she crying?_ “Theodosia?” He held out his arms to her . 

“You _dick!_ ” She stopped in front of him, 

_Wha—_

“A letter? Seriously?” Now she looked more like she was about to laugh. 

“What?” 

“Could you be any more pompous, you stuck-up prick?” Her eyes were bright with mirth. 

“God, I missed you.” 

XXXXX

They went to see a movie, which was fine. John wouldn’t let them cuddle, but that was okay. They were still happy together. 

They went out for dinner, which was great. They didn’t hold hands afterwards, which was, well, it happened. 

Alex got it. He understood. It was totally fine that John deleted their texts after every conversations and ripped up his love letters after reading them. They had to be careful, and that was okay. They loved each other still. 

“John, you are my sun.” Alex told him one day as they hung out with Lafayette and Mulligan at the pizza parlor, which was becoming a regular hang out spot. 

“I’m calling incest.” Mulligan quipped around his third slice of pepperoni pizza. 

“Stop it with the puns, you fucking furry,” Laurens replied. He grinned as he nudged Alex on the arm, which was the closest they got to affection in public if Alex was honest with himself. 

“When you smile I fall apart,” Alex whispered to John through the phone late on some timeless Tuesday night, “And I thought I was so smart.” 

John’s laugh was a rush of static out of the speaker, “I love you too.” 

And Alex let himself smile. 

“I know your father isn’t really there for you—mine wasn’t either,” Alex murmured in John’s ear as they cuddled on Alex’s bed when Mrs. Ross was out, “But I’ll be here for you instead.” 

“I’m kinkshaming,” John yawned into Alex’s shirt. 

“You know, John, you’re super smart,” Alex said matter-of-factly over lunch, “You’re going to go out and do some amazing shit. You’re going to blow us all away someday.” 

“I’ll blow you someday,” John muttered into his chocolate milk. 

“ _Woah there!_ ” Mulligan’s face had gone red. 

“Thanks, babe,” Alex managed through fits of giggles. “Back at you.” 

“Let’s keep it PG, children,” Lafayette said, appearing mostly unbothered, “You’re going to send Mulligan here into cardiac arrest.” 

“I’ll send you into cardiac arrest,” Mulligan muttered, prodding his mac'n'cheese with his fork. 

“Is that a threat or a promise?” Lafayette smirked. 

“Oh, Christ.” 

“I do love you,” John assured Alex every so often when he knew no one was around. 

“I know.” Alex would smile and grab his hand if John let him. “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We really love Theodosia/Burr and we love developing it. We hope that we did it justice. 
> 
> Also, Laurens making dirty jokes gives us life


	23. Laurens Interlude

They were at the pizza parlor on the last day of school, just Alex, John, and two Sprites, when Mr. Laurens walked in. 

Laurens looked shocked, but quickly arranged his face into something more normal. He just had to hope that his father wouldn’t notice him. He let go of Alex’s hand, taking a sip of Sprite to calm himself. 

“John?” 

Alex watched John turn around to face his father. “Hey! I didn’t know you were getting off work early today.” 

“I’m not. But I couldn’t take another moment with those idiots.” Mr. Laurens focused on Alex, and Alex had an _oh, shit_ moment. “Hamilton, right?” 

“Yes, sir. It’s nice to meet you.” 

_Shit, did I mess up? Do friend-friends introduce themselves to their friends’ parents? Or is that just boyfriends? Gah!_

But luckily, Mr. Laurens took his pizza and left. 

John let out a sigh of relief. “That was close.” 

XXXXX

They didn’t kiss in public, not for real. At school, they barely held hands, and only a few people knew that they were together. Laurens didn’t want to risk anything getting back to his father. They didn’t kiss at restaurants or cafes or museums. They spent time in the back stacks of the library sometimes, where no one ever came, and often one of them would pull the other into an alley for a peck on the lips. 

Alex knew that it was dangerous for John to come out to his father. Still, it felt...weird to act like they were Romeo and Juliet or something _(Romeo and Julian, or Romella and Juliet or something...gah! Focus!)._ It almost hurt, too, as if Alex himself was doing something wrong. 

Alex was being stupid. Neither of them were doing anything wrong. 

But still. Sometimes, it felt that they were. 

XXXXX

They had taken the train into New York, and after spending time at the Whitney Museum, they were taking a walk in the city together. The smell wasn’t the best. The sounds were loud and abrasive. Alex loved it. He took John’s hand, and after a moment, John took his, and they walked hand in hand. The world didn’t explode. No one even called them names or gave them bad looks. No one seemed to care. 

“This is the greatest city in the world.” 

John laughed and kissed his cheek. “Do you think you’ll live here? After graduation?” 

Alex laughed. “I mean, assuming that I’m still with Mrs. Ross after the next year, I guess I’ll go to whatever college accepts me, or more to the point I guess, whatever I can afford, because Mrs. Ross is awesome but we’re not exactly able to afford Harvard and shit. Um, anyway...I don’t know, after college...maybe. I’ll go wherever takes me.” 

“Stop being logical, Alex, and tell me whether you’d _want_ to live here or not.” 

“...yes. Side note, we should go to college together.” 

“Yes, we should.” 

Alex didn’t quite pick up on why he felt so strange until they were back in Yonkers, and walking two feet apart from each other, hands in pockets. 

“John, what are we doing?” he abruptly asked. 

“What?” 

_Shut up, me—_ “I mean, we’re always keeping things secret.” 

Alex hated himself, because John suddenly looked so upset. “Yeah, and...well, you know why.” 

“I know. I understand. But I think...I don’t know.” 

“Speak your mind, Alex,” John said, feeling prickles in his stomach. He didn’t like to fight with Alex. But he also hated it when Alex lied by omission. Alex was free and uninhibited, and John loved that. He also constantly felt like he was dragging Alex down just by being with him, but… 

“I love you, John. But are we healthy?” Suddenly, months’ worth of worries were emerging. “I don’t mind sneaking around, not really. It’s worth it for those moments when we do act like a couple, like today, and I think that someday, we could really be together. Like, after graduation, you know... _anyway,_ um, I was just thinking. For the next two years or whatever, are we really a healthy relationship? Is it healthy to be sneaking around? I mean, you heard about what happened with Bartow and Prevost and Burr, and that was one of the most toxic things I’ve ever heard.” It was like a fucking waterfall of every bad though he’d had over the past months. 

“Alex…” 

“And what about after graduation? Like, we’re happy and stuff, and we normally act like a couple, but what if someone from Continental High sees our status on Facebook and then tells your dad? And what about when we visit home? Do we go back to just being friends? And what if we get married or something? Do we not tell your dad? Hey, yeah, we’re getting married, but as friends, no-homo-tho.” Alex tried to pronounce ‘though’ ‘tho.’ “What do we do, John?” 

“Alex,” John said, his eyes starting to burn. He sniffed. “You’re right.” 

“I am? Because I was really just spitballing, and now I’ll make a sex joke, and it’ll all be okay…” 

“No, it’s not okay.” 

Alex felt a sudden sense of horror, like he was going down a roller coaster that was now plunging directly into hell. “John, seriously, don’t listen to what I just said. It’s going to be okay.” 

“Yeah, in years. But I’m not an idiot, Alex, and neither are you. We’ve been ignoring the fact that we’re doing this _all wrong_ for months. You aren’t afraid to be proud, and I don’t have the right to hold you down.” 

“Yes you do! I love you, John, seriously…” 

“I want you to be happy, Alex.” John was crying now. 

“I _am_ happy! With you—” A cold ache was working its way down Alex’s back. What was happening? It had all been—well, it had been okay - but they had been together and at peace and now— 

“Be happy, Alex.” 

John turned and ran away. It was hard to breathe through the gasps and tears. He was aware of pounding feet behind him, of someone calling his name, but he kept running. The night was balmy and dark, stars twinkling above him. No matter how hard he tried, John was never going to reach them. So why bother trying? 

He ran a long time before stopping. Alex wasn’t behind him anymore. Good. John loved him. He wanted to believe that Alex loved him back. But Alex deserved someone who he could be proud with. Someone that he could hold hands with in public. Someone who he could kiss around more people than Mulligan and Lafayette. Someone to dance with at dances, instead of hiding in the shadows. _(Closet, hiding in the closet, it’s always the closet—)_

That was the solution! 

John wanted to scream, scream until his lungs were bleeding and _gone,_ but he _couldn’t,_ he could never speak! He could never tell his father anything. He could never be _who he was._

If John wanted to be happy, if he wanted _Alex,_ there was only one thing to do. 

It was two miles back to his house. He walked every step with more anger than necessary. The anger kept his courage there. If John didn’t have the anger, he doubted that he would have been able to tell his father anything. 

There was a single light on when he arrived home. His father’s office. It was always that light. His father was always working. Didn’t Laurens deserve some of that dedication? If his father had actually taken the time to get to know him, would this be different? Would John be able to be out and himself? 

He unlocked the door with shaking hands, calling on the last of his anger to fuel what he was about to do. He closed his eyes, visualizing Alex, and imagining telling him about what he had done. About how they could be free. 

“Father?” he asked, walking into his father’s study, feeling suddenly as though the floor would disappear and drop him into an endless abyss. 

“John. Can I help you?” 

“Yes. We need to talk.” 

_Now or never._

“Father, I know that your views don’t quite agree with this, but...I’m gay, Dad.” John’s courage suddenly disappeared and he felt as though his whole world was dropping out from beneath him. He stared at his father, terrified. 

“What?!” 

_This is bad. This is very bad._ John wanted Alex. He wanted a _friend._ “I’m gay,” he repeated. And then, suddenly, it was like a dam had broken. His emotions poured through, his terror at the surface, but pushed away with his anger, his years of shame at the idea that he was somehow wrong, the years of fear and repression and pretending, the faces of his friends and all of the people that he knew would support him. Alex. “I like boys. Not girls. I do boyfriend-girlfriend stuff, except it’s boyfriend-boyfriend. And I have a boyfriend! Alex—” 

John abruptly stopped, looking at his father, who had a dark, terrible look on his face. _Oh my God, oh my God_...for a moment, John honestly thought that his father would kill him and then, oh God, Alex after him. 

“Father?” 

XXXXX

**_To: Alexander Hamilton/Ross (a.ham@gmail.com)_**

 ** _From: Henry Laurens (henrylaurens@yahoo.com_**

 ** _

Re: Your Relationship With John Laurens

_**

Dear Mr. Hamilton, 

I am writing to speak about John Laurens, who you may know as my son. He seemed to have been in a romantic relationship with you. As you most likely know, he may of dreamed of having some form of long-term relationship with you as if he was heterosexual. 

Your war is already over, Mr. Hamilton. You have what you want. John has what he wants. But your foolish war has cost me my son. 

I have made it clear to him that he is not ever to return to the house where he grew up. I never want to see your face again. You would do well to never let me see you. 

Sincerely, 

Henry Laurens

XXXXX

_Oh my God. John!_ Alex went for his phone, pulling it out and starting a text. Sure, John had broken up with him, but that didn’t mean _anything,_ and what if something had happened, and _where is he now?!_

But before he could finish his text, he received one. 

**John:** _I came out. Happy?_

Alex feverishly deleted what he had and called John. He wasn’t picking up. 

**Alex:** _Are u okay_

**Alex:** _John are u okay_

**Alex:** _John pls pick up_

**Alex:** _JOHN_

**John:** _I can’t_

**Alex:** _John where r u_

**Alex:** _Stay where u r_

**Alex:** _I’ll find u_

**Alex:** _It’s gonna be ok_

**John:** _Don’t bother_

**Alex:** _PICK UP UR FUCKING PHONE_

**John:** _I’m not going to hurt myself_

**John:** _I’m not going to kill myself_

**John:** _Just listen_

**John:** _I cant take Yonkers anymore alex. I just cant. It’s killing me. so Im leaving. I dont want u to feel guilty. this isnt ur fault. it’s no one’s but my dad and on that note don’t hurt my dad. I want you to live your life and be happy_

**Alex:** _John no please don’t_

**John:** _I can’t stay. Maybe in a while, I can come back. But not now. I can’t do this right now. Ok?_

**Alex:** _Ok_

**Alex:** _John please reconsider_

**Alex:** _I love you_

**John:** _Goodbye_


	24. Doing the Best I Can

The door opened, slamming against the wall, and Burr looked back to see a disheveled Hamilton. He internally groaned. Burr had been looking forward to this summer class for a while, and he didn’t need Hamilton to be here, too. Luckily, Hamilton sat near the back. 

Alex had signed up for all of the summer classes that he could find. That, along with his student council work, should take up most of his time. And Alex should have been able to graduate early, too. He needed the autonomy to find— 

But that wasn’t the point. Alex pulled out his notebook, ready to start his studies. 

XXX

“I just—I don’t know what to do.” Alex was sobbing into his phone to a consoling Lafayette. “He was so happy—well, mostly—and then I said some stuff I probably shouldn’t have but needed to be said and now he’s…he’s gone.” 

“Alex.” Lafayette was using the same tone he used to deal with small children. “I’m sure he’s not gone. He’ll be back soon, _mon ami._ Your John would never leave you. He loves you too much.” 

“Are you sure?” Alex whispered. “If he loved me…why would he leave?” 

“Alex—” 

“I have so much work to do.” 

XXX

Of _course_ Burr got stuck with Hamilton for his mock trial. 

Theodosia had gotten no end of laughter out of that fact, pinching his nose and giggling. “You’ll just have to deal with it.” 

“I don’t _want_ to.” 

And yet, here he was. 

Hamilton had been talking for five minutes, and it was only their opening statement. Burr sighed, checking his watch. 

“The liberty behind deliberation!” Hamilton was proclaiming, and Burr _hated_ his flowery language and the way that he just _wouldn’t sit down._ “I intend to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt, with my assistant counsel— 

_Hell, no_. “Co-counsel! Hamilton, sit down! Our defendant is innocent. Call your first witness.” To Hamilton, he muttered, “that’s all you had to say.” 

“Okay,” Hamilton said, starting to sit down and then jumping up. “One more thing!” 

Burr pulled him back down. 

_Why are you so arrogant? Why do you assume you’re the smartest in the room? Why do you pretend that no one has anything better to do than listen to you?_ He glanced at Hamilton’s writings for the mock trial, his eyes involuntarily widening. There had to be an entire binder filled with pages. _What else do you do with your time? Why do you do nothing but write? Do you somehow think that you’re running out of time?_

XXX

The library doors slammed open. 

People looked up at the sound, heads popping up like prairie gophers. 

Alex raced past, paying them no mind. “Eliza!” 

“Hey, Alexander.” Eliza gave him a soft smile that calmed him down a bit. “Do you have the plans I asked for?” 

“Do I,” Alex smirked, dropping a thick stack of paper on the table, “or _do_ I.” 

Eliza flipped through the papers. “Alexander, oh my God.” She stared at him, observing the undereye circles so dark purple they looked like bruises. “Have you slept at _all?”_

Alex froze in the middle of pulling out his laptop, presumably to write more. “...’course.” He yanked out his laptop hurriedly and began to type. 

XXX

**eliza:** _he’s been working nonstop ever since john left_

**laf:** _i’ll try to talk to him_

XXX

“Alex? _Mon petit lion?”_

“Oh hey, Laf.” Alex looked up from the piles of papers surrounding him. “I’ve been working on council stuff.” 

“Clearly.” Lafayette stepped delicately around the crumpled up granola bar wrappers surrounding Alex’s desk. “Are you okay?” He couldn’t believe that Mrs. Ross had let Alexander act like this, but Mrs. Ross was clearly frantic over Alexander herself. 

“Me? Oh, I’m great.” Alexander was bent over his laptop again, peering at the screen. “I’ve got a meeting with Burr and Washington in ten minutes so I’m just getting in some last-minute planning.” 

“...huh.” The bones of the student council would be meeting every day from August onwards, but Alexander was doing work for it in July. He and Burr were _fou,_ insane. “Alexander, I think that we should go get some Starbucks.” Perhaps it wasn’t healthy for Alexander to have coffee right now. But Lafayette wanted to get Alexander out of the house, and he had a feeling that coffee would be the only incentive. 

XXX

“So, I have a few ideas.” Alex had attempted to organize his papers a bit, and thus the giant binders he laid in front of Burr and Washington were slightly less messy than others. 

Burr’s eyes were wide, looking back and forth from his small folder to Hamilton’s two large ones. _Has this guy slept at all?_

Washington appeared to be having the same thoughts, a concerned wrinkle etching itself in his forehead. 

“I think this year we should focus on more inclusive and supportive things, especially the GSA and Women’s Rights club. Considering the fact that King has stepped down, we have a lot more leeway in the things we conduct. I think that march should definitely be an annual thing. It definitely improved students’ morale. Considering the dances, I think we need a different person choosing the music—but make sure they leave some of the sixties songs. Regarding the new code of conduct, I’ve drafted a new one that I think will revolutionize the school, dividing power more, and giving a lot more to the students—” 

“Hamilton,” Washington interrupted, an unreadable expression on his face. “Please, sit down.” 

Burr was looking a little shellshocked from Hamilton’s speech. How could one man have so much to say all at once? Didn’t he think at all before running his mouth? Everything that he said could be used against him in the future! 

He looked at Hamilton’s binder filled with writing. _Why do you write like paper and pens will be outlawed tomorrow? Like your computer will break? Like you’ll never be able to write again?_

_Just keep on fighting while you can._

“Burr?” 

Hamilton had chased after him after the student council session. They had their hands full trying to pull the school back together before the new year started. “Yes, Hamilton?” 

“Can we confer?” 

“That’s why I’m here.” Burr had places to be. Theodosia was waiting. “Is this a student council matter?” 

“Yes, and it’s important to me. I mean, _really_ important, like—” 

“What is it?” 

“Burr, you’re a better lawyer than me.” 

Burr’s annoyance at Hamilton’s stalling was tempered by his surprise that Hamilton had stopped there. “Okay.” 

“I’ve seen you debate, in our classes together, and you’re _incredible._ I know that I talk too much, and that I’m loud and shit, abrasive or whatever, everyone tells me and I know I should fix it but I don’t care enough to try. But you’re amazing. You’re succinct. Persuasive. My...client, yeah, client, needs a strong defense, and I think that you’re the one who can help me.” 

Burr didn’t remember this assignment. “Who’s your client?” 

“The new Code of Conduct.” 

“No.” Burr turned back to the parking lot and started walking, but Hamilton sprinted after him and got in front. “No way, Hamilton.” 

“Hear me out! We write a series of articles, and publish them in local newspapers. We need to defend it to the public, especially since it’s so new and radical, especially to King’s supporters and City Hall, and—” 

“No one will read it.” 

“Yes, they will!” 

“And if they fail? You can’t convince everyone.” 

Hamilton gave him a _duh_ look. “Burr, that’s why we need it!” 

Burr wasn’t going to be nice. “Hamilton, it’s a mess.” 

“So it needs to be revised. And edited. And parts of it translated out of Spanish.” 

“It’s full of contradictions!” 

“So is the idea of power! Of freedom! Of independence! We have to start somewhere—” 

“No.” Burr stepped around Hamilton. 

“You’re making a mistake!” 

Burr ignored him. 

“Hey! What are you waiting for?! Why are you stalling? Why don’t you do something that proves that you care?! We got the opportunity to do something with our lives and with this independence! Why are you throwing it away? Do you support this?” 

Burr sighed. “Yes.” 

“Then defend it!” 

“And what if—” 

“Burr, we studied! We fought! We organized! And we won! And all for the idea that we don’t have to live our lives by the dictates of some guy who’s apparently _better_ than us. We have the chance to write our own rules! If that’s not an opportunity you want to follow, I don’t know what is! I don’t understand how you stand to the side!" 

Eyes blazing, Burr kept walking and unlocked his car. He got in, slamming the door. 

He had plans for life. Ones that didn’t involve tying himself to his high school. He was keeping his dreams close to his heart, where no one could steal them away or destroy them. 

He was biding his time. That was all. He was waiting for a chance to do something that he could truly dedicate himself to. He was waiting to see which opportunities would pass him by before throwing himself into something that he didn’t truly care about. It was too dangerous to do something now. He could forever tie his name to failure if he followed Hamilton’s wild plans. The boy was brilliant. But he was a dreamer. He would always be a dreamer. 

This wasn’t a world for dreamers. 

XXX

“I need to find him, ’Liza.” Alex’s hands were clenched together in his lap as they sat at a table outside a nearby coffee shop. “I can’t—I can’t live not knowing where he is.” 

“I know.” Eliza grabbed his hand. “I understand.” 

“Do you? Do you, ‘Liza?” Alex looked up at her, eyes filled with tears. “Do you know how it feels to wake up every day feeling like your heart has been ripped out of your chest because you’ve lost the one person you’ve ever loved for real?” 

“Alex …” 

“Every waking moment is spent numb, because how can I feel when the one person who makes me feel truly human is gone? How can I live and love without the person who makes me feel whole?” 

His hand gripped her’s tightly. 

“I can’t do this anymore, Eliza.” His eyes were red-rimmed and weepy. “I can’t keep going like this. I can’t keep pushing him out of my mind and my life because no matter what I do, everything leads back to him!” 

Eliza didn’t tell Alexander that he was just a teenager and would get over it. Alexander wouldn’t listen, and even Eliza was starting to wonder whether Alexander wasn’t truly in love with John. It could be some kind of Romeo-and-Juliet doomed infatuation, a whirlwind romance and tragedy that lead to nothing but suffering. But she stared at Alexander, who had danced with her when she didn’t want to dance with anyone else, who gave her the courage and strength to go on and be herself. 

She knew she had to do the same for him. 

“Alex. Look at me.” She squeezed his hand. “ _Look at me._ John is going to be fine. He will come back. He loves your sorry ass too much to ever leave you alone. And I know he would hate to see you like this. So please - if I could just grant you peace of mind to know that he will come back. You guys will be together again. So please, for him, stay strong.” 

XXX

**Alex:** _Its me again_

**Alex:** _well obviously_

**Alex:** _I just wanted to ask how your day was_

**Alex:** _mine was fine, just more meetings and stuff, nothing too interesting_

**Alex:** _I think that its safe for you to come back and that youd love to rejoin stuco_

**Alex:** _ok i love u_

**Alex:** _bye_

Alex texted Laurens every night. 

John never responded. 

But that didn’t matter. 

XXX

Burr considered Hamilton’s plan to write the new Code of Conduct. Was he crazy? How did he write so much and work so hard all the time? What drove him to the lengths he went to? 

Hamilton was a goddamn enigma, he decided. No real person could do as much as he did and still be alive. 

And now, the papers. Rumour had it that Hamilton, John Jay, and Madison had teamed up to write at least 25 essays about it. How they planned to divide them up evenly, Burr had no idea. But he didn’t really have time to meditate over Hamilton’s life choices. He had his own work to do. 

But as the summer came to a close, rumours began to fly around again. 

_John Jay, that lazy fuck, he only wrote five._

_Well, I heard Madison wrote a whole twenty-nine!_

_Really? Damn._

_But Hamilton wrote fifty-one!_

_Are you serious?_

_Yeah! Eighty-one total!_

How did he do it? How did he write like he was running out of time? Like he had a clock ticking inside his head, telling him day after day that time was running out? It was like words were boiling over inside him and he needed to get them out quick, before he ran out of time forever? 

XXX

“Mr. Hamilton. We need to talk.” 

It was the last day before August. Before the student council meetings would start going. The Code of Conduct wasn’t doing too badly. It had already made it to City Council. Now it just had to be approved. 

“Yes, Mr. Washington?” Alex had actually brushed his hair this morning. It was the first time in a while that he hadn’t thrown it up into a ponytail. But today it was down, hanging by his face. Alex liked it. It made him feel mature. He thought that John would like it, too. 

“I’m worried that you’re not taking care of yourself.” 

“I’m doing great.” Alex hated his life. “I’m getting so much done, and I’m in enough classes that I should be able to graduate a semester early. I’m getting a lot of credits. And I have a job at a coffee shop now, so I should be able to visit Nevis next summer. Everything’s great.” 

“Mr. Hamilton, I hear things. You and your boyfriend—” 

“Look, Mr. Washington—” 

Mr. Washington sighed, bending over, curling into himself and looking very small and young. “They’re asking me to lead.” 

“Oh.” Alex had expected him to get the job. He wasn’t expecting Mr. Washington’s response. 

“It’s...hard, to say the least. But I’m doing the best I can. I’m trying to rally people to my side so that we can make this school as good as possible. But Mr. Hamilton, I’m going to need strong people behind me as I do it. And that includes you.” 

“Treasurer or secretary?” 

“I know it’s a lot to ask. And I don’t have the right to interfere in your personal life. But Mr. Hamilton, the life you have no is not sustainable. It’s not healthy.” 

“Treasurer or secretary?” 

“I need you to keep yourself healthy—” 

“Sir, do you want me to be the treasurer or secretary?” Alex stared into Mr. Washington’s eyes. He was determined to succeed. To get his life on the track that he wanted it to be. And he was going to help Mr. Washington as much as possible. 

“...Treasurer,” Mr. Washington said, suddenly looking a hundred years old. 

Alex picked up Mr. Washington’s potted plant, and Mr. Washington picked up his box of personals. Alex headed for the door. “Let’s go.” 

XXX

There was a knock on his door. 

“It’s okay, Mrs. Ross, I slept—” 

The door opened. It was Eliza. 

“Alexander…” 

Alex stood up, picking up his binders. “Come on, I have to leave. Want to go to Starbucks?” 

“Alexander—” 

“Look around!” Alexander practically shouted, and the most terrifying thing was the fire in his eyes and the smile on his face. 

He wasn’t happy. He wasn’t working his way through his pain, he was working himself to _death,_ and Eliza wanted to cry. 

“We’re so lucky to get to be a part of this, Eliza! Are you going to run for an office in the fall? You should, it would be awesome—” 

Eliza felt so helpless, she didn’t know what to _do,_ how to help him— 

“He’s asking me to lead,” Alexander was saying, “they’re asking me to lead…” 

“Alexander!” Eliza said, practically sobbing. “Look around! Isn’t this enough? You’re doing so much already, Alexander, how can you take on more? Just _please,_ talk to me, talk to _someone—”_

_He’ll never be satisfied,_ Angelica had told her, _not until John’s back, and even then, he won’t be able to stop himself from writing._

Eliza was so _helpless—_

_He’ll never be satisfied, what do I do?!_

Aaron Burr watched Hamilton give his presentations, he wrote like he was running out of time, always running out of time— 

_Helpless—_

_Why do you assume you’re the smartest in the room—_

_Isn’t this enough?! It’s never enough—_

“Let’s get our first meeting started by discussing the plan for the Code of Conduct. I’ll be your treasurer this year. My name is Alexander Hamilton. And we are not throwing away our shots!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The new ship in the house is Hamilton x work. Hamilwork. Yeah. 
> 
> We hope that everyone enjoyed this chapter, and we'd really love it if y'all would leave comments. 
> 
> See you next week!


	25. The World Still Spins

“What kind of asshole drives a purple Prius?”

Alex and Eliza were sitting on the curb in front of the school (the same curb Alex and John used to frequent, but he wasn’t thinking about that now) and watching the cars drive by for the first day of school. Both Alex and Eliza were starting their junior years and had first period free. 

“A douchey one.” 

They snickered and sipped their coffees. 

The Prius rolled to a stop directly in front of Alex’s ratty old Converse, a stark contrast to the shiny smooth surface of the car. He and Eliza stepped back, exchanging confused glances. 

The passenger door swung open with great aplomb, and a bright purple Nike sneaker stepped delicately on the pavement, carefully avoiding the puddle Alex realized his shoes had been resting in. The mysterious figure slunk out of the car, purple shoes followed by black jeans followed by a white button-down with a purple cardigan over it. 

Thomas Jefferson smiled his shark-tooth grin. 

“What’d I miss?” 

XXXXX

“Where _was_ he this whole time?” Alex hissed to Eliza half an hour later as they stood outside the entrance to the school. 

Jefferson was standing in the middle of the lawn, chatting amiably with a few students who were staring at him with a mixture of awe and horror. 

“France.” She whispered back. “Some kind of exchange program.” 

They inched forward in an effort to hear the conversation happening on the lawn. 

“It’s great to be back,” Jefferson was saying smoothly. “It’s wonderful to see Continental High School again. Honestly, I’d make out with it if I could. But that would be weird.” 

One of the girls sighed at his words. “I’d make out with you, Thomas.” 

Alex snorted, doubling forward. _What kind of—_

“And who are you?” 

Alex found himself nose-to-nose with Thomas Jefferson himself. 

Brown eyes stared into brown. 

“Alexander Hamilton.” He nudged Jefferson a little out of his personal bubble and stuck out his hand. Jefferson delicately shook his hand, wiping his hand on his cardigan afterwards. 

Alex felt hate bubble up inside him. He watched Jefferson attempt to kiss Eliza’s hand, sticking his tongue out at her as she slapped his hand away. 

Yes, Jefferson was exactly the kind of asshole who drove a purple Prius. 

XXXXX

Thomas’s purple Prius was perfect. Inside of it, he felt invulnerable. It got him attention and made a character statement. It was _glorious._

He sat in it in the parking lot outside of the school for a while, just staring at Continental High School. It was a nice building. Fairly old, stout and tall, red brick with paintings on the front. It was hard to believe that King was finally gone. 

He had received an email earlier from Mr. Washington. Washington was going to be the new principal, it seemed, and he wanted Jefferson to be the secretary. Secretary and treasurer were appointed positions, not elected ones, but it seemed that every student that had been surveyed had already approved him. And apparently, Madison would be there too. 

On that note… 

Thomas turned his keys into the ignition. 

A few minutes later, Jefferson waltzed into the library, arms spread wide. “Madison! My beautiful little buttercup!” 

“Thomas,” Madison greeted him with gritted teeth, reluctantly allowing himself to be folded into Jefferson’s buoyant hug. “Where have you been?” 

Jefferson paused. “Uh, France?” 

Madison rolled his eyes. “It’s called a rhetorical question, dumbass.” 

Jefferson draped himself on Madison’s shoulder. “Oh, my gumdrop, how I’ve missed you.” 

“Oh, you soggy bowl of cereal, how I haven’t.” 

A pause. 

“What’s goin’ on?” 

Madison extracted himself from Jefferson’s embrace and made his way over to his laptop. “Have you met Hamilton?” 

“Short with gross Converse?” 

“That’s the one. Hamilton’s new financial plan is than fucking ridiculous. I’ve been fighting for us alone—we have to win.” 

Jefferson fell dramatically into the chair across from Madison’s, limbs akimbo. “Let’s go, sugarbear.” 

XXXXX

”I’ve got my first council meeting today—” Madison and Jefferson were making their way over to the classroom where student council was held. “—I guess I’d better think of something to say.” 

Madison snorted. “Lucky for you, the day you stop talking is the day I die.” 

“Aw, sugarplum.” 

“Shut the fuck up.” 

"Never."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so the JeffMads begins. I'm not sorry. 
> 
> Yes, this chapter was very short. We're sorry about too, although it's probably a welcome break after the huge worddumps that made up the last few chapters. 
> 
> We love y'all! See you next update!


	26. Welcome to the Present

It was the second week of junior year for Alex, and everything was fine, except that Jefferson was a _huge_ prick and _where the hell is John?!_ Alex still texted John every night. He never answered. But Alex spent the time waiting for him to answer writing papers for the council, so it all worked out in the end. 

He surveyed the room, taking in the student council for this year. They had opted not to have a president or vice president, instead having Washington preside over everything and discuss every issue with equal power. Jefferson was the secretary, his purple sticker-covered laptop already open. Alex was the treasurer. Burr represented the seniors this year, Eliza representing juniors, her sister Peggy as the sophomore representative and the freshmen class having two elected representatives, Nathaniel Greene and Dicey Langston. Angelica and Madison represented the needs of electives. Paul Revere was the sports representative, with Sybil Ludington tagging behind him at every meeting so far. 

The door opened one last time, Mr. Washington finally entering, a smile on his face and coffee in his hand. The room immediately went into an uproar, everyone demanding coffee, before Angelica shouted, “shut _up!”_

In addition to being an elective rep, she often had to be the mediator, her no-nonsense, take-no-shit attitude working well to keep all of the boisterous personalities under control. 

“Alright,” said Mr. Washington as he sat down, nodding at Angelica, “well, you guys could have been anywhere in the world—” a few people threw Jefferson looks, and he snickered “—but you’re here, at our first student council meeting with freshmen! Greene, Langston, we’re glad to have you. And now, let’s get to work. Jefferson, will you read us the minutes from the last meeting?” 

“We got the Code of Conduct approved by City Hall and then threw a party.” 

“Thank you, Jefferson. I believe that the issue we’re discussing right now is centralizing the funds from all of the school departments and then allocating them as needed, as well as paying off several of the debts that we’ve accumulated. I’d like to remind you that, while if you come to a consensus, it’s the school board’s choice to pass it in the end, though they’ll probably just pass whatever we give them. I’d also like to remind you that no matter what your personal beliefs are, it’s your job to speak for the people that elected you. Secretary Jefferson, you have the floor.” 

“Thank you,” Jefferson said, standing up. Alex got ready to take notes. Even though he disliked Jefferson’s sense of style, maybe Jefferson wouldn’t be so bad. Everyone said that he was a good speaker, so it should be interesting to debate with him. If only his voice weren’t so... _stupid._ If John was here, he would have laughed. Alex wished that John were here. 

“Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness,” Jefferson declared, and Burr had flashbacks to Hamilton quoting arcane pieces of literature for no reason. It wouldn’t be good to have the two of them in the same room. Something would probably explode. “In the last years, Continental High School has fought to make sure that all of its students, regardless of age, gender, race, or orientation can experience these without the school government getting in the way. The wise words written so long ago are very pertinent to our situation.” He flashed a blinding grin at the room. Alex found himself intrigued by what Jefferson was saying. It didn’t quite seem relevant, but it was hard to deny that Jefferson had a certain charisma. 

“But the people who proposed this particular bill forget that if the school assumes all of the debts of all of the departments it has, then the students will be unfairly taking on some of that burden as well. Their school experience would be dampered. But never mind, never mind, this plan would benefit a certain person in the room...the treasurer, the person who suggested this plan!” 

_What the hell?! Did he just insult me? What a dick!_ Hamilton halfway stood up, but Angelica and Eliza dragged him down. “Not true!” 

Jefferson laughed. “If the shoe fits, wear it!” _What the hell does that even mean?!_ “Look, if the science department is in debt, it’s not the duty of the English department or the sports department to pay for it! I represent a school where each department pays their own dues with what they’ve been given! The English department, for example, has no debt. They use their funds wisely. But we suggest moving these funds around unfairly! This financial plan is _outrageous,_ and it’s so long that I’m surprised we tried reading it! It was what, fifty-three pages on PDF? Why would a student have written all of that?” He flashed Alex a look, _oh my God, did he just accuse me of plagiarism, I’ll fucking—_

“Sit down,” Angelica hissed at him. 

“Stand with me in the land of opportunity! And pray that we never see a plan like this again. Look, when King was stealing funds, we got angry. Imagine what’s going to happen when you try and steal funds from each department separately.” _Rebellion,_ his eyes seemed to say. 

“Thank you, Jefferson,” said Mr. Washington, typing some notes. “Treasurer Hamilton, your response.” 

Hamilton stood up, buzzing with anger. “ _Thomas._ That was a nice little speech. But welcome to the real world. While you talk about philosophy and relative morals, we’re trying to run a school. So would you like to join us? Or perhaps you’d just prefer to stay in France, doing whatever the hell is is you do over there that took a year!” 

“Exchange program,” Jefferson snarked, but Alex ignored him. 

“If we assume the debts of each department, we all get a new line of credit. We pay of the debt centrally and we get more trust from the school board and City Hall. If we allocate funds as each department starts to need them, we have surplus money at the end of the year! How do you not understand this? If we use funds competitively, we get a boost! And you’d rather drag us down?! 

“You keep talking about fairness and equality, ignoring the fact that _this_ plan ensures equality far more than your idea—but you don’t have an idea! Oh, and one more thing, don’t lecture this room about fighting with King and about our anger. You weren’t here! You weren’t fighting! We all could have been expelled, while you were off partying in France! I hear that weed is legal over there!” 

“It is, unlike—” 

“Thomas Jefferson, always getting scared of authority because he knows that they don’t like him. A hater of every plan put forward. And Madison, his ally, both of you in worse shape than the language department! Sitting there, as useless as—” 

“Hamilton!” Mr. Washington barked. “Guys, we’ll take a recess. Jefferson, take a walk. Hamilton, _see me._ ” 

This reminded him of the time that John punched Lee and Mr. Washington had to talk with him, but thinking about it was painful. If only John were here… “Mr. Washington?” 

“What have I told you about not directly insulting people?!” 

“I’m sorry, but Jefferson is a dick—I mean, I disagree with Jefferson’s plan, or rather, his complete lack of one and his irrational hate of mine, and he’s insulting me—” 

“Mr. Hamilton. Winning? That was easy. But keeping this school together is going to be harder, much harder, and I need a treasurer who won’t explode every time someone says something. You’re brilliant, Hamilton. Don’t make me kick you out of student council. The board will call for your removal if you can’t hold yourself together. You need to convince more people.” 

“No, we need to be revolutionary! If we don’t do this now, it’ll never happen!” 

“No, you need to convince people! Figure it out, Alexander.” 

Alex was past caring what Mr. Washington called him. “But, sir—” 

“That’s an order, Hamilton. Figure it out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, we've hit Act 2. Jefferson only gets to be a bigger and bigger character from here. And Alex is going to get madder and madder. Thanks for reading, and it would be great if you could tell us what you think!


	27. Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow

_“Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept, huit, neuf.”_

_“Moja, mbili, tatu, nne, tano, sita, saba, nane, tisa.”_

_“Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, seis, siete, ocho, nueve.”_

_“Eyn, tsvey, dray, fir, finf, zex, zibn, akht, nayn.”_

“What was the last one?” 

“Yiddish.” 

“But _why?”_

Theodosia laughed, and reluctantly, Eliza did too. They were on their way over to Mrs. Ross’s house. Alex normally at least communicated with Mrs. Ross, more than he did with his friends at least, but she had called Eliza and asked for help in getting Alex out of his room. Eliza had called in the troops. The troops, of course, being Theodosia. 

They turned onto the path leading to Mrs. Ross’s small blue house, and Eliza sighed. “I just don’t know what to do.” 

“Break his phone.” 

“What?! That’s awful!” 

“At least he’ll actually sleep and stop texting Laurens in the middle of the night.” 

“But still...I don’t know, if he can’t text John...then I worry about what he’ll do.” 

“That’s your problem. You worry too much about what-ifs. Give him an old phone of yours if it worries you too much. But I’m taking his.” 

They knocked on the door, and Mrs. Ross opened it. “Eliza. Theodosia. I’m glad that you’re here.” 

One of Eliza’s main worries nowadays, other than global warming and trickle-down economics, was whether Mrs. Ross would put Alex back into the system. But no, she had stayed strong, continuing to foster him despite the fact that she could have given him up. Eliza was glad for that. “Thanks for calling us, Mrs. Ross.” 

Alex, for his part, was in his room. He had finished all of his work for the week, and he was now in the anonymous chatroom that he frequented every once in a while. He texted John in his spare time, but after sending about ten texts without a response every night, he would log off of that and start talking with someone he would never meet. It felt less harrowing to talk with someone who would never expect that much out of him. 

_I can feel the weight of the world pressing down on me. Every day, I feel more like that man on the mountain. Atlas, the titan holding up the weight of the sky. There’s more and more work every week. And J still hasn’t returned any of my calls. I’m honestly worried that something awful happened to him. I’m sorry to dump all of this on you, but you’re always very receptive and never complain about listening to my problems. So thank you._

_\- AH._

“Alex!” Mrs. Ross called. 

“Yes?” 

“There’s a surprise downstairs!” 

Alex still had some stuff he could do for council. “Um, I’m—” 

“Alex, get down here!” 

“Okay!” 

He slammed down the stairs, only to see Eliza and a girl he vaguely recognized as Bartow, Burr’s girlfriend. “Um...what is this?” 

“This is an intervention!” Bartow shouted. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t think we’ve met.” 

“Theodosia. Now give me your phone.” 

“What?!” 

“Look, Hamilton. You’ve been obsessing over Laurens for weeks—” 

“His father disowned him. He’s not a Laurens anymore.” 

Bartow sighed. “Fine. _John._ This reaction to him leaving isn’t healthy! You need to leave him alone for a while! And you need to get a social life again!” 

“I have friends—” 

“Don’t fucking lie to me, asshole. You haven’t talked with anyone outside of school in weeks. You deserve to be happy. He would have wanted you to be happy.” 

“Stop talking about him like he’s dead!” Alex shouted. “He’ll come back! He deserves to know that someone still loves him!” 

Theodosia groaned, staring at Hamilton. He was kind of an asshole. “No, he deserves _space._ He wants _space._ And you’re driving yourself insane. You need to take a break.” 

“I can’t take a break—” 

“Give me your phone!” 

“No!” 

Without Alexander noticing, Eliza circled around him and plucked his phone out of his back pocket, tossing it to Theodosia. Theodosia caught it, putting it in the pockets of her khaki pants. “Thanks, Liz.” 

“Don’t call me that. Look, Alexander, this is for your own good.” 

Alexander looked so betrayed that Eliza wanted to sob. But she was worried for him. She worried that he was literally going insane. “Take a break, Alexander! Please! My family’s going out of town over Thanksgiving. Come with us! It’s upstate. A nice place. _Please!_ ” 

“I can’t, Eliza! Now give me my phone!” 

“Shut up,” Bartow said. Alex’s vision tunnelled on her. She took a deep breath. “Look. I’ve been in your place before.” 

“No, you—” 

“Shut up! The way I grew up...I don’t know. People in my life were always telling me that I was worthless. Okay? Suffice to say, it led me into some toxic relationships. First and foremost, my relationship with Jacques Prevost. Well...I’m with Burr now. I’m happy. But I know some things about unhealthiness.” 

“What?!” 

“I devoted myself to Jacques for a while. I was unhappy, but I refused to leave him. I was...a bit obsessed, I guess. Just like you?” 

“Yeah?” Alex said bitterly. 

“But I learned that I am so much more than the person I’m with. You’re throwing yourself into your work. But that’s not because you love it. It’s because it distracts you from the pain. And that’s not healthy. You lost someone that you love, okay. But love isn’t supposed to look like this. Love means taking a break. It means learning how to be your own person.” 

Alex stared at her for a moment. “Bravo,” he said. “Now please get out.” 

Theodosia and Eliza left. With his phone. Alex sighed, feeling exhaustion starting to catch up to him. 

“Alex?” Mrs. Ross said. 

“I’m sorry,” Alex told her, giving her a tight hug. “Do you want to go for a walk?” 

Mrs. Ross looked so relieved that Alex felt guilty. “That sounds like a good idea. Come on.” 

XXXXX

_I don’t mind listening to your problems. It’s more interesting than my life, in any case, but I guess that’s not something to complain about. My sister is having a hard time in her first year at college. My other sister starting her transition, which is hard for her. We’re going to go and visit her as a family, which involves going upstate, meaning that we also get to spend a ridiculous amount of time going on nature walks and stuff like that. Idyllic._

_You have to get through to TJ. I don’t know much about your school, but it sounds like your plan is genuinely going to help your school. If you have that chance, don’t give it up. Lock yourself in a room with him if that’s what it takes. And most of all, don’t give up. Don’t despair._

_(Not that I have room to comment, but give J some space, okay? It sounds like they need it.)_

_\- AS_

Alex sighed as he finished the new email that had come in from his chat partner. AS seemed intelligent. Maybe they were right. Maybe it would be good for him to take a break. Mrs. Ross was going out of town over Thanksgiving. Maybe he could just take some time to himself then. Or rather, time with someone else. Maybe he could go with Mrs. Ross. Or with Eliza, if she still wanted him. 

If only he didn’t have so much work. 

AS was right. He had to get his plan through. 

XXXXX

“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” Eliza asked him. For the first time in weeks, Alexander was really starting to socialize with people. They had gone to get coffee. They had seen a play. Alexander was actually talking with her. He was sitting with Mulligan and Lafayette at lunch instead of working on papers in the library. Eliza was thankful. But she just wished that he had somewhere to be over Thanksgiving. “My father wouldn’t mind bringing someone else along. And we’re already taking two cars, so we have the space.” 

Alex sighed. “I don’t know, ‘Liza. I mean, that sounds great, but I have so much to get done, and I really can’t impose on your dad—” 

“Alexander, for once, don’t worry about that!” 

“Sorry. Just my nature, I guess.” 

Angelica’s car pulled up in front of the bench that they were sitting on, and Eliza stood up. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Do you want a ride?” 

“Uh…” 

Angelica stepped out of the car, and Alex knew that he must have done something wrong, because Angelica only deigned to speak with him when it was a reprimand. “Eliza, do you mind if I talk with Hamilton?” 

Eliza gave him a look that said, _what did you do?_ “Sure. Don’t kill him, Angie.” 

“Okay.” 

Angelica took Eliza’s place on the bench. “Alexander, you need to take a break.” 

“I know. And once I get my plan through—” 

“I’m A.S.” 

“What?!” She had to be lying. Alex had poured his heart out to AS, under the assumption that he would never meet them. The idea that AS was Angelica? Terrifying! 

“I was wrong when I told you to do whatever it takes. You need to take a break.” 

“Please come with us,” Eliza begged. 

Alex felt attacked. Why couldn’t they understand?! It wasn’t about John anymore (okay, so maybe Alex had to stay put just in case John visited, but still). It was about getting his plan through the student council, and then the school board. Through Jefferson (that asshole). And they wouldn’t stop bothering him! 

“I have to get my plan through,” he reminded them. “I have to.” 

Then he stood up and walked away. 

XXXXX

Next time he and Eliza were talking, he gave no indication that Angelica had ever talked with him. She didn’t ask him to go upstate with his family again. Mulligan and Lafayette didn’t bother him. Mulligan mentioned trying to hack John’s phone to see what he had done on Google Maps and therefore where he was, but that had come to nothing. It hurt. But not too much. Alex texted John once or twice every night. It was the least he could do. Fears began blooming inside of him, about whether John had truly disappeared forever. What if he was hurt? _Dead?_ Alex couldn’t take that. 

His friends were all leaving town over Thanksgiving, which gave Alex a lot of free time to work on his council papers. He wished that John were here. But he always wished that John were here. 

XXXXX

On November 26th, his phone pinged.


	28. Stay?

**john** : want to meet up?

Alex threw his phone across the room. “Holy shit!”

Then he dashed at it, grabbed the phone, and called Lafayette, panicked. “Laf, he texted me.” 

“What?! That’s amazing! Where is he?!” 

“I don’t know!” 

“Find him!” 

Mulligan. “Why the fuck are you calling me and not texting him?!

Eliza. “What? What is it?”

“John texted me,” he whispered. “He wants to see me.”

“Well, don’t just sit there!”

His heart beating erratically, Alex texted John back.

**Alex** : yes holy shit

**John** : There’s a Starbucks on 80 delancey ave

**Alex** : in new york?

**John** : yeah

**Alex** : okay sure

**Alex** : can’t wait to see you

**Alex** : i’ve missed you so much

**Alex** : john?

XXXXX

_There’s nothing like autumn in the city_ , Alex observed as he wandered the streets of New York with his hands in his pockets. He felt happier and more at peace than he had felt in months. Finally, he was going to see John again.

He wondered how he was doing. Where was he living? Did he have a job? Was he still going to school? Where was the Starbucks John was talking about? Was he even on third street?

Alex wasn’t really sure how long he had been wandering around this area. At some point the sun had been hidden by some foreboding-looking clouds, and he really hoped the coffee shop was somewhere nearby.

Meanwhile, John was sitting and waiting at the Starbucks he had promised to meet Alex at. Finally he was going to see him again—he didn’t quite know what to feel. Would Alex try to get him to come home? Probably.

Would he go? John didn’t know.

He also didn’t know how long he’d been waiting for Alex for, but clouds were covering the blue sky like a thick grey paint. He hoped it wouldn’t rain; it was a long way to the nearest bus stop and he didn’t have taxi fare.

Where was the goddamn Starbucks? Alex crossed yet another street desperately, feeling a few fat drops of rain land on his head. How had he managed to get lost in New York? The streets were numbered, for fuck's sake.

_Shit._

Finally, he located the coffee shop on third street. He quickly ran in and looked around for John.

John had sat, waiting, for over an hour. Maybe Alex wasn’t going to show up. Maybe that was for the best. He wouldn’t go with him, and Alex wouldn’t stay. Staring at his phone and the few drops of rain starting to fall outside, John made his decision. Picking up his bag, he made his way out of the Starbucks and down the street.

They had missed each other by nine minutes.

Alex stared desperately around the coffee shop. Had he never been here at all? Was this all some stupid prank? A sick feeling sank into his stomach. Had John ever loved him at all?

He ordered a coffee and stood outside the Starbucks, watching the rain pour down in sheets. He felt more hopeless and awful than he had before. He longed for John, missed him with every part of himself. Would he ever see him again? Was he doomed to forever be chasing the ghost of his first real love?

“Are you okay?”

A girl stood in front of him, wrapped in a dark overcoat and clutching at a small handbag. Her hair was a mess, her lipstick smeared on her face and mascara running a little bit down her cheeks.

“Are _you_ okay?”

The girl smiled a little bit. “I’m fine. It’s just the weather.” She shifted her coat around a bit. “And my boyfriend ditched me midway through our date, so I don’t have a ride.” She stepped a bit closer, blood red pumps tapping on the sidewalk. “I have to admit, I feel very angsty right now. Like the star of some teen novel.”

Alex snorted. “I get that. My boyfriend...well, I don’t know if we’re exactly—well, he said we could meet. Never showed.” 

The girl shook her head. “ _That_ absolutely sucks. What do you mean that you don’t know? I’m Maria, by the way.” 

“Alex. And I don’t know. Thursday was the first time that we’ve talked in...months.”

“No offense, but he kind of sounds like an asshole.” 

“He’s not!” Alex growled, and was sorry to see Maria flinch. “He’s just...going through a lot.” 

Maria nodded. “I get that, I guess. My boyfriend...he has a lot on his plate. He’s under a lot of pressure from his family. And he gets angry sometimes—”

“What—do you—do you need any help?” 

Maria let out a laugh. It was a pretty sound. John’s laugh had been amazing. “Not angry at me, Alex. Just...at life. I’m glad that I can help him, I guess.” 

“You guess?” 

“I don’t know.” She looked upwards, at the ugly Starbucks awning above them. “I love him, you know? I love him and I just want him to be okay.”

“Yeah.” Alex bit his lip, worried that he’d start crying. “I get that. Do you...do you want to get some coffee?” 

Maria gave him a small smile. “That sounds great.” 

He shot off a text to Mrs. Ross warning her he’d be home late and got into line. 

It was shaping up to be one of the weirdest days of Alex’s life. First, John hadn’t showed, and that alone hurt so much. It wasn’t the worst thing he had ever experienced, no. But there was something about it...Alex was unused to happiness. And John had made him happy, and the very idea of seeing John again had made him happy...the idea that John didn’t care about him made him feel like his heart had been ripped out by an angry crow-noceros (a crow/rhinoceros hybrid, obviously) and then stomped on by everyone in New York City. He wouldn’t have talked with Maria under normal circumstances. But she didn’t seem so bad. And talking with her took his mind off of the screaming pain in his chest. 

“I’m really sorry,” Alex eventually said. “I’m angsting and sobbing over my boyfriend, but it sounds like you’ve got it—”

“Don’t you dare say I’ve got it worse,” Maria said. “I don’t have it bad, Alex. I love him, okay? And that makes everything worth it. Besides, someone having it bad doesn’t mean that it isn’t bad for you. I’m really sorry that your boyfriend didn’t show up.” 

“And I’m really sorry that you had a crappy date.” 

“I don’t suppose you could walk me home?”

Alex shook himself out of his haze, “Um—yeah I guess I could.” Maybe he couldn’t help John. But he at least had to help someone else. “Just let me text my guardian. I don’t want her to worry.” 

“She sounds really nice.” 

“She is.”

They stepped out into the rain, instantly getting soaked. Maria didn’t seem to mind. “If you don’t mind my advice...well, I think that you need to make sure you’re being kind to her. She sounds like she loves you. I know what it’s like not being loved. Make sure she knows how much you care about her.” 

Alex’s face crumpled. “I know. I’m selfish, and I know that. I talk too much, and I never think about anyone else. I don’t deserve John, much less Mrs. Ross.” 

“Hey. Don’t think like that.” 

“If you don’t mind my advice…” Alex took a deep breath, trying to get his mind off of John and Mrs. Ross and his own failures. “You should get a boyfriend that cares about you.” 

“James does care about me. He just...has trouble showing it.” 

“Maria…” 

“Trust me on this, Alex.” She pointed up at a run-down, old apartment building, and looked up. “This one’s mine. No lights. I guess Dad isn’t home. Do you want to stay—wait, what the hell? Sorry for asking, but how old are you?” 

“Sixteen. Seventeen in a bit.” 

“Seventeen. Good to know that you weren’t an adult this whole time.”

Alex laughed. “It’s nice to know that my overwhelming shortness doesn’t make me look young.” Maria was at least an inch taller than him. 

“Do you want to stay the night? We always have a spare couch. Especially when I’m the only one home.” 

“Maria...are you okay? I mean, at home?” 

“I’m _fine_.” Alex could tell that she was closing the discussion, but that didn’t stop him from wondering whether she was going through the same thing that he had in a couple of his foster homes. It felt weird knowing that there were people in the world who had the same pains as he did. It felt like he was intruding, spying on them almost, but he knew that wasn’t right. And if someone was trying to let him in, what right did he have to turn them down? When you shared pain with someone, you weren’t supposed to run away from them, and honestly, he was worried about her. She seemed helpless, even crazy.

“I should probably go.”

“Are you sure? It’s nine, Alex.” 

“Shit.” Alex had a MetroCard, and the MTA ran all night, but Mrs. Ross had warned him not to take the trains at night. _There I go again, being so fucking irresponsible! Why am I like this?!_ Alex wanted to scream. Or cry. Or both. 

“You can stay the night. No questions asked. I can wake you up at seven or so and you can head back. It wouldn’t be one of the first times that one of my friends has done this.”

“Oh. I didn’t realize—”

“After this afternoon, are you saying that we’re not friends?” 

Alex forced a laugh that got more genuine after a moment. “You make me feel less like the star of an angsty book and more like a character in a good novel that involves good character development and healthy relationships between people.” 

“Same, though? Alexander, it’s really no trouble. You’ve made this day so much easier to manage.” 

“Okay.” 

Alex called Mrs. Ross. She was worried but agreed that it was okay for him to stay the night. Alex made sure to say that he loved her before she hung up, and when she said ‘I love you’ back, it sounded choked.

Maria set up the couch for him, but they stayed up for a while more, talking. She obviously cared about her boyfriend James, but Alex didn’t know whether he cared about her. Then again, was that paralleled in his relationship with John? No! But if Maria thought so...then maybe he was as crazy as she was. 

It was midnight before they were done talking. Maria laughed as the clock struck. “Thank you, Alexander.” 

“Thank you, Maria.”

They looked at each other for a little bit. Alex found himself leaning in almost imperceptibly, but Maria was leaning in right with him—

Their lips met for a single, small kiss.

Each of them drew back instantly. “I am so, so sorry,” Maria said. “I don’t know what—”

“That was so rude of me, I’m sorry, I know that you and James—”

Maria sniffed and it took a moment for Alex to realize that she was crying because tears were clogging his own eyes too, and John was gone and he felt so alone and then there was Maria, she was real, and then her lips were on his again and he didn’t say no.

XXXXX

The alarm that woke up Alex wasn’t his own annoying one. It was a terrifying string of music that sounded like piano and organ and accordion. Alex nearly jumped, then realized that he was leaning against someone—he smiled, John—

_Shit!_

It wasn’t John. It was Maria. She was waking up, blinked twice, shut off the alarm—

“Shit!”

“What?!” Maria’s eyes widened. “Is my dad home?” 

“What—no—but—”

“Relax, Alexander. We just kissed.” 

“But—James—John—”

“They don’t need to know.” 

“But—we—I—we cheated, Maria!” She looked so un-freaked out, and Alex was panicking, and _what is happening?!_ He wanted to scream (again). “Maria, what—I have to go!” 

“Wait!” Now she looked panicked, and Alex stopped (damn his instinct to help everyone), turned—

“Maria, we fucked up.” 

“I know. But this isn’t awful. No one needs to know, Alexander! You can go home, and we’ll forget that this happened. But...I don’t know. If you wouldn’t mind, we could exchange numbers.” 

What?! How could she be thinking like that at a time like this! But probably at the look on his face, she quickly said, “No, no, not like that—it’s just—well, talking with you was...nice!” 

“Yeah.” Alex thought that he was going to cry. He dashed his number down on a piece of paper and shakily left. 

Maria looked at his number and put it into her phone. She felt bad that he felt so bad, but mostly just worried for him. His boyfriend obviously didn’t care. Why else would he have stood Alexander up? And James cared about her, sure, but he was shit at showing it. Was it so bad of her to want someone to talk to? She didn’t even want a physical relationship with him, necessarily. But Alexander had only known her for a few hours, and he already acted like he cared about her. 

The door swung open, and Maria knew that Alex was lucky. He had just missed her father.

“Maria, you home?” 

“Yes, Dad.” 

“Your mother home?” 

“No, Dad.” 

Maria went to her room and locked the door.

 

**John** : Sorry that it didn’t work out. Were you there? 

Alex stared at his phone in horror. Had John been there? Had they been close to seeing each other? 

**Alex** : I was there

**Alex** : sry it didnt wrk out

**John** : We’ll just try again then :)

Alex wanted to scream. He wanted to punch something. How had this happened? 

He forced himself to pretend that nothing had changed. He went to Student Council. He spent time with Mrs. Ross. She seemed happy that he was communicating again, so he got back in touch with all of his friend, playing large-scale games of laser tag and Contact with them.

But Maria...

Weekend after weekend, Alex found himself drawn back to the old apartment with its white curtains and red-lipped inhabitant. It became a bit of a pastime, taking the bus up to her house and letting himself lose himself with her. They just talked, mostly. He told her about Student Council and she told him about the stories and poetry that she wrote, though she never let him read any of her work. They had kissed three times. They had cuddled every once in a while, but it was for mutual comfort, not because either of them were interested in a relationship.

He should have known it wouldn’t last.

A month into this endeavor he received a letter—or an email, rather.

_Alexander Hamilton,_

_You sneaky little piece of shit. I hope you’re ready to pay for what you’ve done to me. You’ve humiliated me and ruined our relationship. You see, that was my girlfriend you decided to fuck. I can destroy you, Alexander Hamilton. I can ruin you. But all I’m asking for is fifty dollars a month. If not, I’m telling your precious little boyfriend._

_Fuck you,_

_James Reynolds_

Alex stared at his phone in horror. How had everything fallen apart so damn quickly? Moreover, how did Reynolds find out, and have it so twisted, too? Fucked? What the hell had Maria been telling him?

He rushed to the bus stop, paying no mind to the shocked faces of his friends as he pushed past them. It may have been the middle of class on a Friday, but he had to figure this out and fix it.

He ran up the stairs to Maria’s apartment, knocking roughly on the door.

It swung open slowly, “Alexander?” Maria stared at him, “I wasn’t expecting you until … later.” Alex became aware of Maria’s state of dress, which was to see, there wasn’t much.

“How. Could. You.” He growled, pushing his way into the apartment.

“I’m afraid I don’t understand—” Maria indeed looked very afraid.

“How did Reynolds find out?” Alex stood very close to her and stared at her straight in the face. “And why the fuck does he think that we were having sex?!”

Maria clapped her hands over her mouth, eyes wide.

“Was this whole thing a set-up? A scam? A plot to get money and humiliate some poor high school student all in one go?” He attempted to make his way to the door.

Her face went cold, “Don’t give yourself that much credit, Alex. You know nothing about my life and you have no right to judge the decisions I make!”

Alex stared at her, lost.

“Moreover, you have just as much blame as I do! Yeah, don’t deny it. You said yourself your boyfriend stood you up—doesn’t seem like much of a boyfriend to me! Seems like I’ve been better to you than he ever has.” Her eyes stared into his, dark and cold.

“I…”

“So stay, Alex.” Her voice was suddenly warm and smooth, “We’re happier together than apart.”

Maria forced herself not to think about how she was treating Alexander. She was right, after all! She didn’t want to use him for sex or anything. But she was happy talking with him, and he was happy talking with her. And they both deserved a bit of happiness, especially Maria. Maybe her boyfriend was being cruel to both of them. But that could be fixed. He knew that she only loved him. He liked to pretend that she was cheating on him, he liked to hypersexualize her, but that was because he wanted to pretend that he needed to be in control. And Maria knew that all of that could be fixed. James was close to perfect. She could talk to him. She could fix this. But she wanted Alexander, too. 

Alex didn’t know what to do. Maybe she was right. Maybe John wasn’t really there for him at all. And Maria wasn’t really in a good situation either, he reasoned. Maybe by staying with her, he could help her. Deep down he knew it was wrong, and that he should leave, run away from Maria and James and the shithole he had dug himself into.

Alex let the fight go out of himself, collapsing onto the couch. “Fuck, Maria.” 

“I know.” 

“How...how…” 

“I’ll fix this, Alexander. _We’ll_ fix this.” She laced their fingers together and smiled softly.

XXXXX

_Dear James Reynolds,_

_Nobody needs to know._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> suspenseful violin music ensues ...  
> hope you guys liked this chapter! or hated it that's chill too. don't forget to drop a comment and/or kudos!  
> love y'all!


	29. Dream in the Dark

“Hamilton.”

“Burr.” 

It was awkward riding the bus with Burr to school. Then again, it was awkward going to almost anything with Burr. Theodosia had definitely improved him, but as far as Alex knew, she was at NYU right now, so they weren’t living together or anything. (Thinking of NYU, which reminded him of New York City, made him want to throw up with guilt and fear.) 

“Did you hear the news about Clermont Street?” 

_Is Burr actually starting a conversation?_ “No.” 

“It was renamed Mercer Street. Well, you don’t know, but Hugh Mercer was an officer in the army. He always talked about how he’d like his childhood street to be named after him. No one ever thought that it would actually happen.” Burr snorted. “Well, he got his wish. I guess his legacy is secure, or something.” 

It always came down to legacies with Burr. And with Alex himself. 

“What did he do?” 

“Die.” 

Hamilton snorted. “Sounds like a good move on his part.” It was morbid, but almost funny. 

“Maybe we should do the same.” 

“No kidding.” 

“So how are you going to get your plan through?” 

_Ah._ So that was what this was about. “I guess I’ll listen to you. Talk less, smile more, and all. Do whatever it takes to get my plan accepted.” He had promised John to do whatever it took, so long ago. Alex, the perpetual liar. They arrived at school, and exited the bus together. “Hate the sin, love the sinner.” 

“Hamilton!” 

It was Madison. Alex nodded at Burr and walked towards Madison. “Sorry. I’ve gotta go. We all have a free first period. Decisions are happening.” 

Burr continued towards school, thinking about what was happening. Hamilton had somehow gotten Jefferson and Madison to meet up with him. Thomas claimed that it was all due Washington intervening and demanding that they meet up. Thomas claimed that he agreed and then got Madison to help out as well. Thomas claimed that he had arranged everything, though what needed arranging escaped Aaron, especially since the financial plan was the school board’s decision in the end. And of course, everything that Jefferson said couldn’t be confirmed. 

No one else would be with the three of them. 

Aaron worried that it would end with murder. Aaron worried that nothing would get done and that the deadlock would return for another few months. Madison was slowly going crazy with all of the heel-dragging of Hamilton and Jefferson. The council and the board were still debating over everything. 

And no one else was in the room where it was happening. No one ever know what was said, what was done. What was sacrificed. What was one. No one would ever know! 

XXXXX

“Thomas.” 

“My beautiful chocolate bar!” 

“Shut up. Is this actually happening?” 

Jefferson shrugged. “I suppose that it is, blueberry muffin.” 

“I say that we solve one problem with another, you slightly curdled glass of milk.” 

“We give him his votes?” 

“We give him the financial plan. And he gives us the power to decide a base budget for every department.” 

“He gets his plan, but we fuck it up for him.” 

Madison nodded. “That sounds about right.” 

“You’re a genius, chocolate-covered gummy bear!” 

XXXXX

They exited the room at the end of first period, a revolutionary deal in their minds and on the signed papers in front of them. Alex had what he wanted. 

No. 

He wanted John to be here. 

He felt as though there was an agonizing hole somewhere in his stomach. It burned with every step that he took. _God,_ he was such an angsty asshole, thinking that he still deserved John after everything that had happened. 

Maybe he could text John again? 

No. He could never talk with John again. 

He didn’t deserve to. 

All that he deserved was meeting up with Maria every week in their fucked-up relationship, getting comfort from her, using her in the same way that she was using him. He hated himself. He didn’t deserve to hate her. 

As he left school at the end of the day, he heard a voice call, “Hamilton!” 

Hamilton turned. It was Burr again, _of course._ “Hey, Burr, how are you?” 

“Fine! But you—you gave them the power to decide the baseline budgets? Why? Did Washington pressure you? Did _they_ pressure you? What—what happened?” 

It was a miracle. Aaron Burr actually talking like a normal person. “There was no pressure. Just logic.” 

“What—” 

“When you’ve got stakes in the game, you stay in the game. You don’t drop out because you can’t have everything. You compromise. I got more than I gave.” 

“And you wanted what you got.” 

“And you don’t get _jack shit_ if you just wait for it.” Alex looked up at the school. Continental High was the one constant left in his life. In all of the uncertainty and disturbance, it felt like an anchor. “Burr...I want to build something. I want to leave something behind in this town. I want a legacy. If I get put back in the foster-care system, I want people to remember me.” He looked at Burr, who had an unreadable expression. “What about you?” 

Burr turned and made his way to the bus stop. 

_What do I want?_

He wanted a legacy, too, just like that little upstart. He wanted people to remember him. He knew that his strategy for life wouldn’t exactly get him a statue in front of Continental High for people to ogle for years to come. Aaron had resigned himself to that. 

But still— 

_I want to be in the room where it happens._

Aaron had plans to go into leadership. That was why he was doing student council. But it was a rude awakening to be reminded that for the most part, he was not a vital part of their government. The leaders were supposed to save their communities. But no one got to see what happened between them behind closed doors. Everyone could have their dreams of peace, hope, of the American Dream, of success and happiness. But they dreamt in the dark. They would never know just who decided which of their dreams were worthwhile, which of their dreams had to be crushed. They never got to see what was being handed back and forth, what power plays were made. They weren’t a part of the process. Click-boom, door slammed, things happened and Burr wasn’t there! 

_I have to be in the room where it happens._

He made the switch from the bus to the train into the city, considering that. _I want to be in the room._ He wanted to be a part of the decisions that affected the world. 

He had finally found a dream. 

It was unachievable! 

He arrived at Theodosia’s apartment and stepped inside, forcing all thoughts of dark dreaming out of his mind. “How was your day?” 

Theodosia pecked him on the lips. “Fine. And yours?” 

“It was…” 

“Was it because of…” 

“Yes.” 

Burr tried not to mention Hamilton’s name while he was at home. Both because of the speak-of-the-devil idea (Aaron did not need Hamilton appearing in Theodosia’s apartment) and because of Theodosia’s roommate. 

And think of the devil, because there he was. He gave Aaron a small wave. “Hey, Burr.” 

“Hello, John.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we make it to the titular chapter. As always, we'd love any comments from all of you lovely people. We hope you enjoyed!


	30. Where Do We Draw the Line?

Washington stood at the front of the room. “The issue on the table: our sister school has no GSA. Now do we provide aid and help them develop one, or do we stay out of it? Remember, my decision on this matter is not up for school board approval. The only person you have to convince is me. Jefferson, you have the floor.”

Jefferson stepped up to the podium, stone-cold. He shuffled his notes imperiously and looked down his nose at the rest of his classmates. Clearing his throat, he began. “When we were making our GSA and getting rid of King, we made a promise. We needed help. Funds. Support. Who provided that?”

Madison spoke up. “Jacobins High School.”

“Thanks, sugarplum. In return, they didn’t ask for anything. Only that when they took a stand and fought for _their_ GSA, we would stand with them. It’s going to be messy, that’s true. I admit it. But it’s the time to stand! Stand with our fellows as they fight against tyranny. Stand with the LGBT community as they try to get a place for themselves. I know that Hamilton is here and he would rather not have this debate, but I’ll remind you he is not secretary of the council!”

The class ooh’d.

“He knows _nothing_ of loyalty!” Jefferson spat, glaring directly at Hamilton. “Smells suspicious, dresses like fucking royalty—” the class snickered at that, as Jefferson was wearing a bright purple dress jacket and a tie while Hamilton was wearing a t-shirt, “—desperate to rise above his station, everything he does betrays the ideals of our council!”

Jefferson stomped his foot to punctuate his statement. The class was dead silent.

“…thank you, Mr. Jefferson. Hamilton, your response.”

Hamilton practically swaggered up to the podium, tapping his papers on it neatly. He stepped down and stood silently.

“Come on, Hamilton.”

“Yeah, tell him!”

“You must be out of your _goddamned mind_ if you think Washington is going to bring our school to our doom by meddling in some other school’s mess! Jacobins High School doesn’t have their GSA because they’re teetering on the brink of complete bankruptcy and gang violence! It’s a game of chess where there is no king or queen to fight with or protect! I’d like to remind everyone that we shouldn’t be talking about promises, either, because the principal is gone! We made a promise with a person who’s not even there anymore, or would you like to give them a call?” He mocked holding a phone. “Should we honor our promise, Mr. Capet?” He paused. “Uh, do what you want, I’m not even there!”

Washington stepped forward. “Enough, enough, Hamilton is right.”

Jefferson leaned towards him. “But sir—”

“We’re too fragile to get involved in another fight!”

“But sir, do we not fight for equality and support?”

“Sure, when the Jacobins figure out who’s going to be leading the charge.”

“The students are leading—”

Washington gave Jefferson a deadpan stare. “The students are rioting.”

“Just like us!” 

“Only we had proof that King was stealing funds, and City Hall was already going to fire him! Sit down, Jefferson. Hamilton, draft an email.”

The council broke, people leaving. Alex shuffled his papers together until Jefferson approached him. “Hamilton, do you forget Lafayette?”

Alex paused, pointing to the left. “He’s literally right there.”

Jefferson rolled his eyes. “He promised to help them. While you were stuck in detention, Jacobins High and Lafayette got the march going. We’re friends with that school. We accumulate power and debt but in their hour of need we forget how much they helped us.”

“They’re smart, they’ll be fine. And what do you know? You were in France. Look, if we fight in every little spat, we’ll never stop. Jefferson, tell me, where do we draw the line?”

Jefferson snickered. “Sooo quick-witted.”

“Look. Can I just remind you of something? You’re straight. You don’t understand—”

“What?! I’m pan.” 

Alex choked. “Wait, what?!” 

“Duh. You’re an asshole.” 

“You’re the one that said you were straight two meetings ago?” 

“...did I? Oh, yeah! But that was because of something else. Anyway, someone oughta remind you.”

“What?”

“You’re nothing without _Washington_ behind you,” Jefferson sneered.

Hamilton glared at him.

“Hamilton,” Washington called from behind the pair.

Jefferson gasped sarcastically. “Daddy’s calling.”

“What are you implying?!” Alex sputtered. 

Jefferson suddenly got a disgusted look. “Ugh! That is _foul!_ I did _not_ mean to imply that!” 

“Good!” 

“Madison is things!” 

“What?!” 

But Jefferson had already dashed off.

XXXXXX

Burr tried to cleanse himself of all thoughts of Hamilton and Jefferson and the student council before he got home, but it was near-impossible. Luckily, John wasn’t home, probably still at his soccer practice. Having John at Theodosia’s house made things very awkward. But it was Theodosia’s house, and she had insisted on having him stay with them. 

He kissed her, and she grinned at him, probably glad to have the distraction from her homework. She was majoring in social work and getting several scholarships. Her family was paying for most of her tuition, but Theodosia had insisted on paying her own rent, so she was working nights as well. Aaron worried that she was overworking herself. But it was nothing like someone that he could think of. 

“How was The Problem today?” 

The Problem was their nickname for Hamilton. “Fine. He’s getting better.” 

“John will be glad to hear that.” 

“It’s strange that they haven’t met up again.” 

“Yeah. But people are weird sometimes. I’m sure that things’ll be fine.” 

“I hope you’re right.” Burr sighed. “Sometimes I wonder why I’m in Student Council.” 

“College apps.” 

“Yes. But they take themselves so seriously...sometimes I think they forget that they’re in high school.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short lil chapter tonight, sorry folks. comments and kudos make our day!


	31. It Must Be Nice

“It must be nice to have Washington on your side,” Jefferson griped, squeezing himself next to Madison in the same seat.

Madison nodded. “It must be nice.” 

“But Washington doesn’t realize how stupid he is.” 

“How do you mean?” 

“People are getting annoyed. They think that he’s favoriting Hamilton over me. And a lot of them like me more. Look, every action has its equal, opposite reaction. Thanks to Hamilton, the council’s fracturing into factions.” 

“Try not to crack under the stress.” Madison patted Jefferson’s arm in mock sympathy. “You’re already rhyming. Don’t forget what your mom said about spending too much time on RhymeZone.” 

Jefferson glared at Madison. “Precious KitKat, do shut up and let me talk.” He cleared his throat. “I get no satisfaction witnessing his fits of passion—the way he primps and preens and dresses like the pits of fashion—” He ignored the way Madison’s eyes pointedly flicked down to his outfit of the day, a purple sweatshirt with a white crown printed on it, white jeans with a purple heart patch on the knee, and bright orange Nikes. “Honestly, we gotta get rid of him.” 

“You sound like King sometimes, you know? What with the rhyming, and the death threats? Hey, what rhymes with Hamilton, my creepy porcelain doll?” 

“Not that it’s any of your business, but Hamilton has no direct rhymes, just near rhymes. Vatican, Madison, cattleman, Catalan…” 

“Wow. You got way too into this.” 

“Shut up, my little Swedish Fish.” 

The pair fell silent in contemplation, Jefferson absentmindedly kicking his foot against the table. His eyes fell on another person sitting in their general area, none other than one Aaron Burr. 

“Aaron!” Jefferson exclaimed, launching himself out of the seat he and Madison were occupying and making his way over to the resigned senior. “What’s your opinion on our dear treasurer Hamilton?” 

“No opinion.” 

“Of course you say that, Burr-Burr, but you’ve gotta have one! No one’s as neutral as you think you are.” 

Burr just sighed. 

“You’ve gotta think something about Hamilton!” 

“Why do you care about Hamilton so much?” Madison asked. 

“Aw. You jealous?” 

“No, my dear recently expired coupon.” 

“Love muffin.” 

“Clickbait ad.” 

“Chocolate-dipped vanilla ice cream cone.” 

Burr groaned. “He’s messed with the council to the point of it falling apart, he’s got Washington wrapped around his finger, and he has an awful sense of style.” 

Jefferson clapped Burr on the shoulder. “There you go! That wasn’t so hard, was it?” 

“Anything to stop you two from going all sexual-tension on each other while I’m still in the room. It’s fairly disgusting.” 

“There’s no tension,” Madison grumbled. 

“Yes, there is,” Jefferson said. 

Madison sighed. “Can we get back to Hamilton? He’s centralized power and money. Maybe it was a mistake to give him his votes. He has power now, too much of it.” 

“And wasn’t that the problem with our last principal?” Burr asked. 

“Somebody has to stand up for the council.” 

“Somebody has to stand up to his mouth.” The more that Aaron thought about it, the more he disliked Hamilton. Hamilton was an annoying upstart who thought that he was better than everyone! And yet, he couldn’t even keep a time right to give John peace of mind. Hamilton was a liar. 

“Let’s show this guy what he’s up against—” Madison continued. 

“Southern motherfucking Democratic Republicans!” Jefferson practically shrieked. 

Burr and Madison fell silent. Madison snickered a bit. “The fuck was that?” 

“I was doing history research earlier.” 

“Like most of your insults, it doesn’t at all pertain to this situation.” 

“Would you two please focus?” 

They both turned to Burr, not used to having him actually speak his mind. And he obviously wasn’t done. “We need to follow the flow of money and see if there’s anything there.” 

“Seems like a long shot—” 

“He’s the treasurer.” 

“And every second, the treasury grows.” Jefforson smacked the table. “Alright. Follow money. Get into the dirt. And then, when we’re covered in dirt, we take a plastic baggie of dirt and dump it on Hamilton’s head!” 

“What the fuck, Thomas?!” 

“I love you, lollipop.” 

“We won’t be invisible,” Burr said. _Not again. I want to be in the room._ “After we’re done, people will have to listen to us. Council won’t just be about Hamilton’s speeches—and yours, Jefferson, don’t forget that. We’re going to change things. Again. We won’t be shot down.” 

Burr and Madison exchanged glances. “Still—” 

“—it must be nice to have Washington on your side.”


	32. How To Say Goodbye

Ironically, it was Valentine’s Day when Washington declared, “I’m stepping down.”

It was the end of their meeting, where they were discussing how many field trips each department should have been able to take. Surprised and panicked, Alex looked up from his papers. Yes, they had destroyed the room yesterday. But that didn’t mean that Mr. Washington should step down! 

“Mr. Washington,” Angelica ventured, “why?” 

“It’s getting to be too much,” Mr. Washington said. Alex wanted to cry. 

“We’re sorry!” Greene shouted. “Please, don’t leave!” 

“It’s not you,” Washington promised them. “You’re all brilliant. And I’m proud to have worked with you. But this post...it’s high-maintenance. And the job of principal takes a lot of effort. Not to mention…” he trailed off. “Never mind.” 

“But, sir…” Alex said, “you...just...stay!” 

“I’m afraid that I can’t,” Mr. Washington said. “It’s been an honor to work with you. In honor of all we’ve done so far this year, I got us donuts. We’re closing session.” 

“But, Mr. Washington!” 

Mr. Washington left. Everyone stayed still for a moment, confused. Alex felt as though a rug had been jerked out from under him, and he was stuck in a slow-motion fall. _What...what...what just happened?_

And then he got up and chased after Mr. Washington. 

“Wait!” 

Mr. Washington turned. “Hamilton. I’d like to remind you, this isn’t your fault. Take care of yourself, okay—” 

“No! You can’t leave! I’ll change, I promise, just _please_ stay in charge, you were such a good leader—” 

“Mr. Hamilton.” 

Alex silenced himself as Mr. Washington stared at him with unreadable eyes. “It’s been an honor to work with you. It’s been an honor to lead this school. But I can’t stay forever. And—” 

“You can’t be talking about dying! You’re like thirty!” 

“Mr. Hamilton…” Mr. Washington sighed. “Look. This is in confidence. But my wife is pregnant. We’ve been discussing moving.” 

“But—this place is great! Are you moving into the city? Or—” 

“I can’t talk about it much, Mr. Hamilton. But we will be leaving soon enough. And I while I would love to lead council for as long as possible, I have other duties.” 

“But, sir—” 

“It’s not up for discussion, Mr. Hamilton. Now, I’d like to discuss a few things. Neutrality, for example.” 

“With Jacobins High on the brink—” 

“And no internal argument.” 

“Sir—” 

“Remember this, Hamilton. Alright? Now, no argument between you and Jefferson. You should be allies, not enemies. Remember what I’ve told you about staying smart. The world will be watching you soon enough. Don’t disappoint it.” 

“But—” 

“Goodbye, Mr. Hamilton.” 

Alex didn’t know what to do. 

He found a bathroom on the second floor. There was an old poster in there, one that hadn’t been taken down since last year. It advertised the GSA. The artwork reminded him of John’s style. 

Alex shut himself in a bathroom stall and started to cry. 

XXXXX

The light of a laptop emanated onto the front of a figure cocooned in a blanket. A hand emerged from the amoeba-like shape, picking up a cup of microwave ramen. Ex-Principal George King III took another bite of ramen before setting the cup back down and stroking the cat in his lap. 

He did a vocal warmup, finding the right key, before singing again. He had been preparing this song for quite some time. It was inevitable that Georgie would want to leave, and he liked to imagine the panicked looks on the faces of all of Georgie’s supporters. 

“They say...George Washington’s yeeeilding his power and stepping away. Is that truuuuuue?” _I wasn’t aware that was something a person could do._ King suddenly broke out of song, tapping his chin. “I’m...per _plexed.”_ He stroked the cat again. “Are they just going to keep replacing principals, year after year? Are they?” he directed his question at the cat currently in his lap, Southern Rhodesia. Or perhaps it was Burma, he couldn’t quite tell in this light. “And if so, who’s next?” 

Another cat jumped on his back. Probably Australia. “There’s nobody there who really screams, leadership material,” he said to the empty apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the late update! Finals are hitting us hard. Love you, see you on Friday (hopefully!) /shot/


	33. National Embarrassment

“John Adams?”

Alex gripped his phone tightly, a wave of anger coursing through him. “That asshole hasn’t done an honest day’s work in his life!” 

Eliza patted him on the arm. “Alexander, relax. He can’t be that bad if Washington hired him.” 

“Yeah, he can,” Alex growled. “I can’t fucking believe this. John Adams, president of the student council. He’s had it in for me since day one!” He paced back and forth across the mostly empty hallway. “He never shows up to council meetings, and yet he claims I’m crazy! He’s never seen a speech of mine in his life!” 

“Okay, Alexander, let’s calm down a little bit.” Eliza grabbed his arm and wheeled him around to face her. “I know you don’t like him, but please don’t do anything stupid. Promise?” She stared at him, hands gripping his arms. 

Alex dragged a hand down his face. “I … yeah, okay. Sure.” He stalked down the hallway towards his next class, a sick feeling in his stomach. _Don’t do anything stupid._ It felt like every single thing Alex had ever done in his life had been stupid, especially recently. 

He felt the fifty dollars weigh heavily in his backpack, dragging him down. 

Angrily, he opened up his Twitter account. 

_An Open Letter 1/?_

_President John Adams. The blight on the otherwise perfect student council, slowly spreading his awful ideas like some kind of_

_An Open Letter 2/?_

_awful fungus. He claims that I’m in league with some organization against stuco. Please! Say hello to Abigail next time you gab about_

_AOL 3/?_

_my lack of moral compass. At least I do my fucking job around here! You are still spreading your infectious reign_

_AOL 4/?_

_over the undeserving student council and ruining every good part about it. It’s going to shit under your rule! Or lack thereof._

_AOL 5/?_

_When’s the last time you actually showed up to work? Who does all your work while you’re away canoodling with dear Abby?_

_AOL 6/?_

_Oh, I’m sorry. I actually don’t fucking care because you’re not even doing your job! You useless sack of shit. You’re going_

_AOL 7/?_

_to go down in Continental history as the only stuco president who did absolutely nothing for the school. And you know what?_

_AOL 8_

_I don’t care if I get kicked off the stuco for this letter, I’m confining you to one term. Sit down, John, you fat motherfucker!_

XXXXX

Burr stared at his phone in horror. Hamilton had lost all control. Dimly, he wondered if John had seen the tweets. How could Hamilton be so stupid?! “Theodosia, have you seen—” 

Theodosia and John were both doing homework at the kitchen table. Theodosia sighed. “Yes. We both have.” 

John looked torn between a smile and a grimace. “It was...well…” 

“Yeah,” Theodosia snorted. 

“Theodosia!” 

Theodosia was laughing. “I’m sorry! But you can’t deny...that kid’s got style.” 

“He’s being an idiot!” 

John sighed. “I really need to talk to him.” 

“No,” Theodosia said. “He can come out here. You shouldn’t go back to Yonkers.” 

“Theo, my friends are there. I can’t just let that thing with my dad keep me from ever going home.” 

“He said that if he ever saw you—” 

“He’s probably forgotten. I want to see Alex, Theo. Aaron, you get it. You think that I should talk with him.” 

Aaron shifted uncomfortably. He hadn’t told John what a fucking shitshow Alexander was getting to be. “Yeah. I think that seeing Alexander might be good for him.” 

“He doesn’t answer my texts like he used to. I think...I missed my chance, you know.” 

This was Aaron’s cue to leave the room. 

Theodosia sighed as she turned to John. “John, he’s been hung up on you for months. He wants to see you. I promise.” 

“No. I’ve been cruel, Theo. I’ve been selfish. He deserves to move on. I wish...I wish he would move on.” 

“No, you don’t.” 

“I don’t deserve him.” 

“But he _wants_ you. Jesus, John. Bad communication is the result of all problems. You’ve seen enough movies to know that.” 

“No shit. But that’s because communication is _hard._ ” 

“John, you’re not being honest. To me, or to yourself. And you have to be open with yourself, at least. You’ve completely blamed yourself for what happened. And, well, taking a step back...I’m proud of you, to say the least. You’re a great roommate. And you’ve adjusted so well to life in New York. Getting emancipation—” 

“It wasn’t hard, Theo. My dad practically lobbied the courts for it.” 

“Yeah. But you’ve held up well. You’re getting good grades. You’re on the soccer team. You’ve adjusted, and that in itself is amazing. But you’ve blamed yourself for every bad thing that’s happened to you in the past year.” 

John’s eyes were burning. “Well...that’s because I’ve been an idiot.” 

“To be fair, Alex was an idiot too.” 

John groaned. “What do you want me to say? I’m angry at Alex? I hate him because if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have come out? I hate him because he bothered me for months and now he won’t return my texts? Is that what you want?!” 

Theo stared at him for a few moments, and John regretted everything that he had said. “I didn’t mean any of that, Theo. Sorry.” 

“No. Don’t be sorry. You’re getting in touch with your emotions. And you can’t have a healthy relationship until you know your emotions. Don’t hold back, John. Promise me.” 

“Theo…” 

“Promise.” 

XXXXX

“I got kicked off of the council,” Alex reported to Eliza. 

“I can’t say that I’m surprised.” 

“That’s fair.” 

“Alexander, why would you consider that a good idea?” 

“I wasn’t thinking. I hate Adams, you know?” 

Alex knew that he’d have a lot to discuss with Maria this weekend. But he almost considered texting John. John would know what to do. John would be comforting, and Alex wouldn’t know that he had an ulterior motive. 

But that was just why Alex knew he couldn’t call John. He had thrown away his shot at that relationship. He didn’t deserve something with a person as beautiful and pure as John was. Alex wouldn’t drag down John. Not now. 

XXXXX

“Have you seen this?” Madison asked Jefferson. 

Jefferson snorted. “Yes. It’s beautiful.” 

“Hamilton’s destroyed himself,” Madison said. “It’s kind of great.” He and Hamilton had been friends while writing the papers over the summer. But Hamilton had gone crazy. And it had become clear that he had to choose between Hamilton and Jefferson, and Thomas would always come first. 

“It almost makes me feel bad for the guy.” 

“Yeah?” 

“But then I remember that he’s a big ol’ meanie and that I greatly dislike him, my lovely Milky Way.” 

Madison sighed. “Just...stop.” 

“As long as he has a phone, he’s a danger. We need to shut him down.”


	34. We Both Know What We Know

“Jefferson.” Alex nodded in greeting as he stepped into the classroom. “Madison.” He paused. “...Burr.”

The silence was thick and oppressive.

“What is this?”

Jefferson stepped forward. “We have the evidence, Hamilton. Almost a thousand dollars taken to a Mr. James Reynolds.”

Alex paled. He thought he might puke. But—

“I have to say I’m surprised,” Burr said. “You obviously care about Continental High. But this...well, it’s disturbing. Who is James Reynolds, anyway?”

“This is none of your—”

“Yes, it is,” Madison said, and Alex glared at him. “This is interesting because of your position in the council—”

“—and evidence points to a bit of…well.” Jefferson’s voice was annoying. Alex wanted to punch him in the throat! He wanted to run away! He wanted a pen in his hand so that he could scrawl down everything that he needed to!

“The former treasurer embezzling our school funds.” Burr stepped forward, arms crossed.

“I can almost see the headlines, your time at our dear school is over.” Jefferson punctuated his statement with a sneer.

This time the silence encroached on Alex, poking and prodding him closer and closer to an edge he didn’t know he had.

He took a deep breath and plastered a smirk on his face. “Ha!”

The three students drew back, not expecting this response.

“You don’t even know what you’re asking me to confess.”

They exchanged confused glances. “...confess?”

_If you push me over the edge, then you’re coming with me_. Alex couldn’t care anymore. He constantly felt like the weight of the world rested on his chest. There were secrets and there were lies and Alex couldn’t take it! He hated living like this. He almost didn’t care what happened, who he disappointed.

“I’m going to prove I broke no rules and no laws. _When_ — not if—I do this, you will not tell a soul.” A cold kind of rush was spreading through Alex, steeling him for what he was about to do.

_No one else was in the room where it happened_. But Burr couldn’t help but feel that he was making a huge mistake.

“So?”

Burr started. “Uh...okay.”

Alex fiddled with his phone with shaking hands, opening up the mail app, scrolling through his massive amounts of emails, then passing his phone to Burr.

“ _Alexander Hamilton_ ,” Burr read, “ _You sneaky sack of shit. _” He paused, sharing a look with Madison. “ _I hope you’re ready to pay for what you’ve done to me. You’ve humiliated me and ruined our relationship. You see, that was my girlfriend you decided to fuck—_ ”__

__“Whaaaaat?!” Jefferson dashed over to Burr’s side to read the full email._ _

__“She...convinced me that she cared about me. That I deserved her—her, not...him.” Hamilton felt bile rising in his throat. _Just blame it on Maria_. It was so much easier than to come to terms with what he’d really done. Just blame it all on her. Paint her in red, bury her reputation in the dirt. She had ruined him. She had ruined his relationship with John. She had convinced him that he was worthless. And she was messed up, yes, and he was messed up, yes, but she had seen something inside of him and amplified it and Alex hated her as much as he hated himself. He had been mistaking selfish need for care for too long. “And then when all was done, her boyfriend swooped in and made me pay. Literally. But I paid it all myself. I fucked up. I’ve ruined myself. But I haven’t broken any laws. You _assholes_.”_ _

__Burr sensed that Hamilton was close to crying and that made him worried. _We messed up, I messed up, this is what happens when you take things into your own hands...__ _

__Jefferson and Madison shared a dubious look._ _

__“You...cheated on John?” Jefferson demanded._ _

__Alex’s heart was snapping. “So?”_ _

__“Hamilton...Alexander...you should—”_ _

__“Give me life advice, Madison, and I swear to god—”_ _

__“But—”_ _

__“So?”_ _

__“Nobody needs to know.” Madison said after a few beats of weighted silence, “Let’s go.”_ _

__“Burr!” Alex reached out and grabbed the man’s arm as Jefferson and Madison filed out of the room. “How do I know you won’t use this against me?”_ _

__Burr stared at him silently, a dark kind of anger burning in his eyes. _John_. John had kept pining after Alexander, hoping for him to come back, hoping for a relationship. Hamilton had practically _ruined John’s life_ , and now—this! How was Burr supposed to deal with this?! John didn’t deserve this! “Alexander. Rumors only grow.”_ _

__“Burr.”_ _

__“And now we all know what we know.”_ _

__Alex stood in the center of the empty room, watching Burr leave. He felt dizzy and nauseous, like he was on a tiny boat in the middle of a roiling sea, being tossed around and destroyed with no way out. Like he was stuck in the eye of a hurricane, watching things fall apart around him but being stuck in some kind of limbo where all he could do was watch._ _

__Alex had his experiences with hurricanes. He felt one sweep through his house when he was twelve, upending his life and swirling its way through his family, ripping apart hearts and relationships and cracking down on every bit of hope he ever had. He was twelve when that storm had taken his father and his mother’s love.  
He was thirteen when his mother had died. That had been a hurricane too, a sweeping, silent one that blew through their home and destroyed the remnants of the only constant thing he had had in his life—his mother’s love. It had ripped through them, killing them slowly. He had been curled up in his mother’s arms, feeling her breath rattle through her more slowly with each passing breath._ _

__And yet, he didn’t die._ _

__And yet and yet and yet. When a literal hurricane had swept the town, he had almost hoped to die, to let himself fall into the gusting winds and sheets of rain and be blown away. But he didn’t. He couldn’t seem to die._ _

__He didn’t know why he had survived all those hurricanes. He used to think he was destined for something great, to be a part of something bigger than himself. He used to think maybe he lived so he could be with John. So he could find a soul just as broken as his and they could heal each other together._ _

__Alex had thought he was past hurricanes when he came to live in Yonkers._ _

__But he wasn’t, he never was. All he could do was weather them through and hope he was still in one piece at the end of it, then pick himself up and keep going.  
But this, this was the one hurricane that he didn’t know if he could survive. He didn’t know if his lucky streak could get him out of this storm._ _

__So Alex stood in the center of the empty classroom of the school that meant so much to him, that he had poured his heart and soul into building up and writing for—_ _

__Writing. That was it, wasn’t it?_ _

__Filled with a sudden urge to grab his laptop and write until his fingers shriveled up and fell off, Alex knew what he had to do._ _

__He had to write his way out. It had worked before, hadn’t it? Lay yourself bare on the page, let your soul seep into the words and mix with the ink. Let your tears form your confessions, let your desperation and hopelessness drip from the sentences._ _

__So write he would._ _

__And write he did._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dun dun dun!! sorry for the late update last week, we had finals this week and we were too distracted studying.  
> hope you guys liked this chapter! it's reynolds pamphlet build-up, mostly, but we think there are some good lines in.  
> as always, comments and kudos much appreciated. love y'all!


	35. Have You Read This?

_The Reynolds Pamphlet 1/?_

_I owe it to my friends to apologize first for putting this all out in the open. But accusations against someone can only be countered through_

__

_The Reynolds Pamphlet 2/?_

__

_Character witnesses, as it were. My character is clear in terms of embezzlement, thank you. I’ve messed up, yes. But not in the_

__

TRP 3/? 

__

_Way that some people would like to think. The accusations were of stealing school funds and then paying it to Mr James_

“What is he doing?” Aaron looked at Theodosia with horror. “What does he think he’s doing? This isn’t—it’s not—” 

Theodosia was speechless for a moment. Finally, she spoke. “That idiot!” 

_TRP 4/?_

_Reynolds. This is ridiculous. But as to avert this idea, I would like everyone to know that the real crime I have committed was_

Jefferson was torn between laughter and tears. “Oh. My. God. That idiot. He cannot be doing this. He can’t think that this is a good idea.” 

Madison was more wholeheartedly guilty. “We drove him to this. Oh my God.” 

_TRP 5/?_

_Having a relationship with his girlfriend. This relationship was not sexual or even physical, as he imagined. It was purely emotional_

_TRP 6/?_

_And stemmed majorly from the absence of someone that I cared about as well as my own emotional shortcomings and_

Washington was horrified. Alexander Hamilton. He had known that the kid was having problems, but he never imagined...this. He never imagined that Hamilton would have gone this far. Washington had messed up by leaving. His duty was to help his students, and Alexander had obviously needed help. 

_TRP 7/?_

_Her own emotional manipulation of me. I do not blame her, however. It was her fault, yes, but as much as it was my own fault_

_TRP 8/?_

_And the fault of her boyfriend. This relationship occurred with his complete knowledge and knowing consent “if the_

“He’s never going to be treasurer again,” Jefferson gloated. “Or secretary. Or representative. Everyone can see this! They all know who he is. And he’s never going to be in power again. 

“It’s one less thing to worry about, you know?” 

“Don’t be mean,” Madison insisted. “This is so much worse than I could have imagined.” 

“One less thing to worry about,” Jefferson insisted. 

Madison sighed, and then nodded in agreement. “One less thing to worry about.” 

_TRP 9/?_

_Price was right.” I messed up, yes. And I can’t imagine the toll this will take on my friends and family, as well as_

_TRP 10/?_

_My former significant other. But my affairs are in order. I was honest with the money that I handled._

“What does that matter?” Aaron wondered. “He was dishonest with everything else! I can’t imagine…” 

“Don’t tell John.” 

“John’s going to find out, Theodosia. He’s an adult!” 

“Yeah.” Theodosia set her shoulders. “And so’s Alexander. I can’t believe that he did this. I can’t believe that he was such an idiot!” 

“Theodosia…” 

“He can fight me if he wants. That asshole!” 

The tweets just kept rolling out. 

XXXXX

“Alexander…” 

It was Eliza. Alex couldn’t face her right now. 

“Alexander!” 

“Eliza, please, don’t—” 

“How could you do this?!” 

Eliza felt like her lungs would be ripped out. “Alexander, you idiot! You asshole! Dick! Fucker! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck you!” 

“Yeah.” Alexander didn’t even fight back. 

“Alexander, I’ve known John for years!” Eliza was surprised that she wasn’t coughing up blood at the screams she was letting out, or spitting fire from the anger that she felt. “And he’s beautiful, and he _cared_ about you! He didn’t deserve this! But you cheated on him! You broke his trust, all of our trust! And now you can’t even give me an answer for why you did it! You fucking cheater!” 

“Eliza...” 

“He deserves to be happy! And he was waiting for you! But you ruined your chances with him and you’ve probably ruined his trust and his happiness! Don’t you fucking dare try and talk to him again! Not after this!” 

“I know,” Alexander whispered. 

He put his hand on the locker next to him as if to steady himself, but slowly sank to the floor. 

“Alexander.” 

“I know. I know, Eliza.” 

_At least I...at least I…_ But Hamilton couldn’t think of even one good thing that he had done. He was a monster. He didn’t deserve anyone, least of all John. _What have I done?_

XXXXX

“Have you ever seen someone ruin their own lives?” Jefferson asked. 

Madison shook his head. “Poor John.”


	36. Too Close to the Sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of abusive relationship and slurs towards women. 
> 
> (Not our views, by the way, just characterization.)

“Maria.” 

Maria felt a cold rush of fear at James’s voice. She looked up from her phone, hands shaking. 

“Do you have any idea what you’ve done?” 

Maria was silent. She set her phone on the table and stood up from her chair to face him. 

“You let your emotions get in the way of our relationship. You’ve ruined our reputations and school career, all because you wanted to be with some stupid boy. What was wrong with our relationship? What did I do to deserve your treatment?” 

Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes. 

“How could you do this to me? To us? Why wasn’t I enough? I loved you, Maria, I’ve always loved you, and you _always_ do this to me. Do you think that you can find someone better than me? There’s no one there, Maria. No one who’s going to love you as much as I do.” 

“No,” Maria said softly. “Alexander…” 

“Doesn’t care about you. Why would he have said what he did if he cared? He let the whole world know what a whore you are. He doesn’t love you. No one loves you. But me. I love you. And you do this? You’ve always been irresponsible, Maria, you fucking bitch—” 

“Shut up!” 

Maria had screamed it out to him, and he stopped in his tracks. Bitterly, Maria realized that this was the first time she had raised her voice to him. _Because he’s right,_ she knew, _I don’t stand up because he’s right._

But Alexander—he had _cared—_

But James—she _loved_ him— 

“What did you just say?” James demanded. 

He was doing it again. Treating her like a child. He felt the need to be in control of her, so he twisted her every move into someone wrong so that he could pretend he was justified in trying to control her. Maria stared at him as if a curtain had been ripped away from his face. He _wasn’t_ justified! 

She loved him. But he was wrong. 

“How dare you act like my parent,” Maria said coldly, shaking with anger. “How _dare_ you?! Every word out of your fucking mouth is meant to make me the villain here! But you’re the one that insults me and leaves me and pretends that I don’t matter! I matter, James! I deserve to have someone telling me that I matter! And I love you, but you refuse to listen, you try to control me, you try to tell me that I’m bad, a whore, a bitch, but I’m not! I’m so not, you’re the asshole here, and this is not love! 

“For a year now, I’ve let you try to destroy me and beat me down because you feel the need to make me hate myself and I’ve taken that hate out on other people! But let me tell you something, James! Never again am I going to listen to a word that comes out of your piece-of-shit mouth! Maybe you think that your manhood is being insulted or something—well, let me tell you, you are not a man if you think that this is how you can treat somebody! 

“If I could, I think that I would set you on fire, or stab you, or hurt you the way you’ve hurt me, but I’m not because I’m going to get out of this place someday and you’ll be living on the streets like the little rat you are, you bastard! I hate you! I hate you!” 

Maria was sobbing, with happiness, with anger, with fear. “Get out!” 

“Maria—” 

“GET THE FUCK OUT!” 

Maria was laughing now. “I don’t need you in my life! I don’t need you! I’m so much better than you are, and you know that, and that’s why you want to hurt me! You can never hurt me again! Stay away from me, or I’ll fucking kill you—” 

“Maria—” 

“No!” Maria dragged him out of the door. The stairwell smelled like stale cigarettes. Maria kicked him in the crotch. 

He doubled over and Maria hated and loved the feeling of satisfaction that shot through her. 

“I hope that you burn, James Reynolds!” 

And then Maria slammed the door on him. 

XXXXX

“How could you?!” 

Alex looked wearily at Theodosia Bartow. He had gotten yelled at by Mulligan, Lafayette, Eliza, Angelica, hell, even Peggy...but didn’t he deserve to hear this over and over again? He had fucked up. Badly. 

“Hamilton, John’s thought of nothing but you for the past months. Every day, he asks Aaron about you. He holds you on such a pedestal.” Bartow snorted humorlessly. “And you do this to him!” 

Alex’s mind slowly worked through Bartow’s words. “Wait.” 

“Every time I suggest that he stops blaming himself over the problem of the day, he acts like it’s his fault! You know, sometimes it’s yours! You should have taken responsibility when you had the chance! You should have talked to him, a million times over! I don’t even know what to say to him at this point!” 

“Wait.” 

“I’m not going to wait for you, Hamilton, no matter how much _he_ might have—” 

“Wait! How—how do you know what he thinks?” 

_Oh, shit._ Well, it was all out in the open now. “He was in New York City, Hamilton.” 

“No shit!” 

“With me.” 

Theodosia didn’t feel sorry for Hamilton. She was not going to feel sorry for Hamilton. But the look on his face...betrayal. Anger. Sorrow. Confusion. Betrayal. 

“He was...with you. The whole time. You and Burr.” 

“Oh, don’t try to put this on us! The fucking Reynolds Pamphlet—that was all your fault! You couldn’t handle this like an adult?!” 

“He was with you two the whole time! And you didn’t tell me?! For months I could only think about him! I was so worried! And you knew that he was safe! And you didn’t tell me?! Who the fuck do you think that you are?!” 

“We were honoring his wishes! How do you think he felt when his father disowned him?! That was your fault—” 

“IT WAS NOT—” 

And then Alexander was sobbing, and Theodosia just wouldn’t feel pity for him but she couldn’t keep yelling—they had all messed up—all of them—and they were all broken and burning in the aftermath of their dishonesty and crappy decisions. 

“I’m sorry,” Theodosia whispered to no one. 

XXXXX

John finished reading the last tweet. 

_What—how—why—_

He felt sick, he felt awful. What had he done to Alex to make him do this? What had some girl given Alex that John couldn’t? Was this whole thing his own fault? 

Could he have stopped this? If he had been a little bit more caring, more loving, more supportive—but he had done all of those things. He loved Alex, for fuck’s sake! What more could Alex have wanted? _I’ll do whatever it takes—I’ll mess up—I love you—_

He wanted to scream, he wanted to sob, he wanted to rip out his heart from his chest because what had love ever done for him? What had it done, except for ruin his fucking life? The very fact that he loved was a secret, one that wrapped around his insides and squeezed at his lungs like some kind of snake or parasite. 

How could he love at all, when all that came from it was a shattered heart? 

_I believe in you—You can do it—I love you—_

John’s hands shook. He threw his phone to the other side of the room and sank listlessly to the floor. 

He had loved him. He had loved him so goddamn much. Didn’t Alex understand that? Couldn’t he see? He had said he was his. And John had been stupid enough to believe him. 

He believed Alex. Alex and his stupid love poems and letters and words. His words has wormed their way into his heart and soul and stayed there, building him up and making him strong. Now John felt them like knives, ripping and tearing at him. Had they all just been lies? 

_Hamilton—Alexander—Alex—_

A ripple of anger coursed through him. Stupid Alex. Stupid Alex and his stupid fucking words. He wrote those tweets! He told the whole fucking world how he had been with that girl! John didn’t believe Alex for a second that their relationship hadn’t been sexual. Emotional support? He may have cleared his name from any kind of blame, but he had ruined their love and everything that came with it. 

He wondered what Eliza would say to him right now. Or Angelica. Or Theo or Burr or Lafayette or Mulligan or anyone at all. If John had been any better with words, he would be able to come up with some kind of shitty metaphor for the situation. Maybe something with the sun and the sky, since Alex had always called John his sun. His stars, his sky, the light of his life. 

Wasn’t that so fucking funny now? 

_I don’t—I can’t—I won’t—_

If John was the sun, what did that make Alex? Icarus, maybe. Flew too high and dreamed too much, too caught up in his own life to noticed himself falling apart at the seams. 

He hoped with a sick hope that Alex kept flying. Kept flying and flying, higher and higher, until he burned and broke. 

Broke so much that he would know how broken John was now, falling apart from the weight of everything Alex had done to him. Broken to the point of no repair, broken and shattered and gone. For the last months, his relationship with Alex, the love that they had shared, had felt like a tether. It was weighty and dragged him back, but it kept him attached to earth and to everything that came along with it. 

But that tether was burning. John felt...empty. Unattached to anything in the world. He could have floated away like ashes if he wanted to. There was nothing keeping him here. 

_Alex…_

_I broke him—he broke me—it’s over—_

John wished that his anguish would burn away with his belated love for Alexander.


	37. I Came to Ask

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Discussions of abuse, gunshots

Theodosia and Eliza had decided to see Maria Lewis. It had been all too easy to get the address from Alexander. They had taken the A train down to New York City, found the apartment building, and when up the several flights of stairs. It had been simple. The hard part, as it turned out, was deciding to go in. 

They had spent about fifteen minutes outside the door before Theodosia finally got the courage to knock on it. Luckily, it was a girl about their age who answered, not some random guy. Theodosia wondered where Maria Lewis’s parents were. 

“Can we come in?” 

“Do I know you?” 

That was a fair question, one that Theodosia respected. She reminded herself that she did _not_ like Maria Lewis, nor would she ever. This girl had ruined Hamilton. She had ruined Hamilton and John’s relationship. Still, Theodosia knew that she didn’t know anything about Maria Lewis’s life. “My name is Theodosia Bartow. This is Eliza Schuyler. We’re...acquaintances of Alexander Hamilton.” 

“Oh.” The unfriendly look on Maria Lewis’s face didn’t change. “Well.” 

“I understand that you have no reason to let us in, and that Alexander Hamilton is an idiot and an asshole, and that our friendship—aquaintancehood?—with Alexander doesn’t seem like a good reason to talk to us. I’m guessing that he’s hurt you through the tweeting shit. But I think that we need to talk.” 

“And I’m Maria Lewis.” Maria laughed humorlessly. “But I guess that you knew that, right? Everyone—people at school, hell, even some Starbucks baristas—know who I am. Twitter isn’t exactly private. I’ll admit that I didn’t particularly love what James and I were doing, but at least my life was private. Do you know what it’s like being me now? And yes, I realize that that sounds privileged and awful, but you’re right, Alexander Hamilton is not one of my favorite people now. I guess I’m just lucky that my parents don’t know about this.” 

Theodosia knew that they would come to this point. She wasn’t going to claim to be rich, or anything. Her family was firmly middle-class, at a point where they could support themselves, but also at a point where Theodosia needed a few scholarships to graduate without too much debt. Maria Lewis’s life seemed much different. She wasn’t as privileged as Theodosia was, and that meant a lot. Theodosia doubted that Maria wanted to hear what she had to say. 

Luckily, Eliza spoke up. “And I’m really sorry that all of this has happened to you. This has clearly hurt you a lot, much more than it’s affected us. If you don’t mind me asking, are things...are things alright with your boyfriend?” 

“That asshole? We broke up. Only good thing that came of this.” 

“Oh. Hamilton...he didn’t really...I mean, he said that you weren’t happy, but…” Eliza went red. 

“James Reynolds was a douchebag. He had an idea for how to get ahead in life, and it was a shitty one. It was working, I’ll admit. We were bringing in some money for it. But we were being assholes. And he was a huge dickhead. I loved him. I still love him, I guess. But he’s never loved me, and it was good to finally realize that.” 

“That’s good, at least.” Theodosia hated talking about her own life, but if Maria had opened up to her like this, then she couldn’t not reciprocate. “I’m...not exactly a stranger to abusive relationships. My ex-boyfriend...my boyfriend before him...hell, even my dad. They were all...well. You know.” 

Maria didn’t look very sympathetic. “When I hear things like this, sometimes I think that being in bad relationships is inevitable. That no matter what, being a woman is about finding someone who just...isn’t awful.” 

“I can see how you’d think that way. That was my thinking, I guess, I don’t know...you still in high school?” 

“I’m graduating this year.” 

“Yeah. Last year, well...me and my boyfriend...well, I was just getting out of another abusive relationship. My ex before Jacques…he hit me. That’s when I got out. And then Jacques was never nice, but he was never awful either, and I guess I just let myself think that it was love. He was well-off. He said that we could last. I believed him. I thought that maybe if I could just stick it out, I’d have a nice life.” Theodosia swallowed. “I cheated on him, in the end. Aaron...he was different. But I didn’t have the courage to break up with Jacques. When they tried to fight each other...that was when I realized that I was worth more than that. Well, I’m back with Aaron now, and he’s...not only is he not awful, he’s great. He makes me feel happy. Like I’m worth something. And the best part is that it’s not attached to him, the feeling won’t go away if we break up...I guess I’ve started to realize that I have worth, like, as a person. And my point is that there _are_ good people out there. You’ll find someone.” 

Maria’s lip was quivering, and Theodosia internally freaked out. What was she supposed to do? Hug Maria? Tell her everything was going to be okay? 

“Come in.” 

Theodosia followed Maria into the apartment, and though Maria left the door open, the two of them sat down on a ratty old couch, and Theodosia thought that maybe this meeting wouldn’t be a total disaster. 

“Alexander fucked up with this whole thing,” Maria started. 

“No shit.” 

“Yeah. But...I don’t know if he told you, but it wasn’t totally his fault—” 

“Don’t bother with that shit. His handling of this situation? Was crap. I thought that he was mature. A good guy. But he wasn’t.” 

“I’m not saying that the tweets were smart. But this whole relationship—that was my fault—” 

“He could’ve gotten out, if he had really tried.” Eliza winced. “Not to say that he should have _gotten out_ of his relationship with you, I mean, you seem nice, but...look, I’m not sure how much you know about this. His boyfriend, John, was disowned by his father. He couldn’t take being around Alex, for a while. So he didn’t see Alex. Alex...well, he was hurt by that, obviously. And it was totally his prerogative to start a new relationship if he wanted to. But this? And lying about it, to everyone? Not telling anyone? That was a bad move.” 

Eliza realized that Maria was crying, and she could stop herself from reaching out and patting Maria on the back. Maria pushed her away. “Stop. I don’t deserve this. Your sympathy, I mean. I told Alexander...I told him that John didn’t love him. Because I needed him. He was the first nice guy I’ve known. He was comforting, you know? And I _needed_ him. I’m fucked up, and I’m disgusting, and I _needed_ him. And I thought that that was an excuse to lie to him! I was being selfish! And he was stupid, but it’s not his fault!” 

This time, Eliza didn’t let Maria push her away. She hugged Maria, and after a few moments, Maria was crying into her shoulder. Theodosia was full-on panicking. She hadn’t expected tears. She hadn’t expected this. She hadn’t expected this kind of story behind Hamilton’s actions. 

“Okay, it was both of your faults,” Theodosia said, trying to assume a slightly joking tone. “And thank you for telling us. Maybe now we can stop being mean to him. But—don’t make this your fault. You’re not disgusting. You just need help. You both messed up, and now that we know that, we can work on fixing this.” 

“This can’t be fixed,” Maria sobbed. “I messed up. I hurt Alexander! And I hurt his boyfriend, and all of you, and you shouldn’t be sorry for me, you shouldn’t have all this sympathy for me, I’m disgusting—do you know what I’ve done? Do you know who I am?! Stop—just stop—” 

Eliza hugged her tighter, starting to cry herself. “You’re worth something, you know that? You’re not worthless.” 

This might have been the worst thing to say, as Maria just cried harder. “Stop—stop—” 

“No.” Theodosia kind of hated Maria. She hated the way that this woman had messed with Alexander’s mind. Alexander had been acting insane for the last few months, and part of that was Maria’s fault! But Theodosia couldn’t hate a crying girl. Theodosia finally stopped holding herself back and let her words out. “Stop crying. Stop feeling sorry for yourself—Jesus, that sounded bad. Um, stop taking the world on your shoulders! Everyone fucks up, and this is a huge fuck-up, yes, but it can be fixed. You can help them fix their relationship. And most importantly, you can help yourself. You probably need to see someone, not to be rude—fuck, I’m bad at this—look, do you just want to sleep over at my house or something? You look like you could use that.” 

Theodosia thought that she saw Maria nod. 

“Come on. Let’s go...get some food or something. Let’s buy a bag of Twix and eat it all because we can do whatever the fuck we want.” 

Eliza knew that Theodosia was struggling. “Come on, Maria.” 

She helped Maria up, and they made their way to the open door— 

“Well, isn’t this cute.” 

There was a guy standing there. _Maria’s dad_ —no, he was too young— _what the hell?_

Maria glared at him through her tears. “I told you not to come back here.” 

Theodosia got it before Eliza did. “Oh, don’t tell me that you’re Reynolds. Let me tell you, you’ve caused us all quite a bit of strife. Dick.” 

“Get out,” Maria said, struggling to keep her tears in. 

“Fucking amazing,” James mumbled. “I come back here to say sorry, and all I get are these insults. Let me make it clear, Maria. I love you. I want you back. You don’t have to cry. We can go away from here, we can run away, we’ll never look back—as long as we have each other—” 

“Leave!” Maria didn’t want to listen to James. But his voice, his stupid voice, the one that had gotten her through so many bad moments, was as intoxicating as ever. 

Eliza could tell that in Maria’s emotional, broken state, she was likely to listen to the asshole that stood before him. She made eye contact with Theodosia, seeing that they both knew Reynolds had to go. 

“She told you to leave, buddy,” Theodosia said. She could feel the old aggression coming on, the kind that had let her break up with Jacques and the kind that had let her relationship with Aaron be passionate and loving and equal. The aggression that got her through college and kept her as a dominant force in the life of everyone that she knew. “Don’t make me make you leave.” 

“Shut up!” Reynolds was full-on glaring at Theodosia now, and she could tell that this would be a fight. “Get out of my way, you fucking bitch! This isn’t your affair!” 

“If you mess with Maria, you mess with me.” Theodosia moved towards him. “Get out! Or fight me, you—” 

Eliza didn’t know what happened. 

One second there was a loud bang. The next, Theodosia was on the floor. There was blood. Eliza screamed. 

Reynolds was holding a gun in his hand. He had a shocked expression on his face. Both Maria and Eliza moved towards him, but he was running away, and they needed to help Theodosia— 

“Call an ambulance!” 

“I know, I’m on it! Omigod, omigod, please—” 

“Theodosia! Stay awake!” 

“Oh my God!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's about to veer off into /this shit is real/ territory, my friends. Just bear with us.


	38. Aiming For the Sky

“Where is Theodosia?” Burr rushed into the hospital waiting room, a wild look in his eyes. 

The receptionist had a reasonably startled expression on her face. “Excuse me?”

Burr took a deep breath. “Theodosia Bartow! Can I see her, please?”

The woman tucked a strand of hair out of her face and typed a few letters into the computer. “She’s in room 203.” She pointed down the hall. Burr rushed into her room.

The room was incredibly serene for the panic Burr was feeling rip through him. Washed-out sunlight streamed into the room. The walls were a creamy white and the floor a blue and white checkered tile. Theodosia was dozing on a small bed, the sheets a pale blue. She was surrounded by several beeping monitors. Burr felt sick to his stomach.

“Theo?” He whispered, as though talking too loud would shatter the fragile peace of the room. 

Her eyes fluttered open. “Aaron.” He rushed over to her and crouched next to her.

“Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine—”

“ _Are you okay_ , Theodosia, for the love of God, don’t just lie to me! You can trust me. We’ll get through this.” 

“Well, I know that. You’re silly, Aaron.” 

Aaron knew just how high she was off of painkillers. He was feeling light-headed himself. She could have—she had been shot—she could have died—what if she had died?! 

“You’re freaking out, love. I can tell.” 

Aaron groaned. “Of course I’m freaking out! How are you not?” 

“It’s hard to panic while unconscious. I think I gave Eliza an ulcer.” 

“Theodosia—what the hell happened?”

She sighed, “It’s a really long story. But, um, I was shot. The bullet entered right here—” She moved her arm to point at just above her hip, “—and lodged in my arm.”  
“No shit!” 

A nurse from outside glared at the two of them, but for once, Aaron didn’t care about making a good impression. Everyone else in the world could implode, and Aaron wouldn’t notice. As long as Theodosia was still here, still okay. “I know that, Theodosia. Of course I know that you were shot! By the way, how much do you really like the purple mug?” 

He had meant it as a joke. Theodosia’s favorite mug was a purple one with a dog face on it. But Theo didn’t take it as a joke. “I swear to God, Aaron, if you dropped the purple mug—”

“No. I didn’t. But why were you shot?” 

“I was talking with Maria Lewis. Her boyfriend showed up.” 

“What?! He shot you?!”

“Clearly.” 

“Theodosia!” 

“Sorry. No, actually, I’m not.” 

Aaron was practically seeing red. “I’ll kill him, you know? I'll murder him. You just tell me—”

“Don’t. Don’t do this, Aaron. Don’t be crazy.” 

“I’m not. I will kill him, Theo! He hurt you!” 

The door slammed open, and John Laurens practically sprinted it, followed by an out-of-breath Eliza. For a moment, Burr worried that Hamilton would follow them, but they were alone. John looked almost as panicked as Aaron felt. “Theodosia, are you okay?!”

“Yes,” Theodosia grumbled. “I’m going to get mad if more people ask me that. My mom, my sister, hell, even my dad—I didn’t know that he cared that much.” 

“Theo, of course people are going to worry! We care about you! Burr, tell her that it’s okay for people to worry about her!” 

“I’ve been trying,” Burr informed Laurens. 

Laurens moved to his side of the bed. “Do the doctors say she’s okay?” He asked in an undertone. 

“Yes. Don’t worry, your roommate is safe.” 

John looked at him reproachfully. “That’s not the only reason I care about her.” 

“Sorry, I’m freaking out. I can’t believe that she would do something as stupid as going to some random girl’s house alone—”

“She wasn’t alone. She and Eliza went together.” 

Eyes suddenly blazing, Aaron turned towards Eliza. “You knew?! You knew about this? You _endorsed this?!_ ” Eliza Schuyler looked up at him with scared brown eyes, and Aaron knew that she was one of the kindest people that the world had to offer, but he honestly didn’t care if he made her cry right now. “You know, Theo, I’d expect a move like this from you! But Elizabeth, I thought that you could be smarter than this!” 

“Stop it!” Theodosia yelled. “First off, I don’t like what you’re implying about my decision-making abilities! Next, don’t you _dare_ make this into Eliza’s fault! This was a freak accident! Now behave, or you can leave!”

“I know. I’m sorry. But I’ve been freaking out!” Freak accident though this might be, it had still happened! “What if that guy tries something else? To Maria? Or to Theo? He’s obviously unhinged. And when Hamilton finds out—”

Laurens flinched, but Aaron ignored it. John was going to have to get stronger at some point. “When Hamilton finds out, he’s going to be pissed.” 

“Well, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Now Eliza, _nje, dy, tre, kater, pese, gjashte, shtate, tete, nente, dhjete._ ” 

Eliza looked surprised at the sudden turnaround of tone in the room. She paused a moment before responding to Theodosia. “ _Sowo, tali, tsoi, nvgi, hisqi, sudali, galiquogi, tsunela, sonela, sgohi._ ”

As Aaron watched them, his heart felt uncomfortable. Emotion really was an annoying thing. Aaron had become better at dealing with his feelings since he started dating Theodosia for real, but sometimes he was really struck by the way that his heart would seem to fill up, the strange love he had for Theodosia threatening to choke him. Aaron kind of hated it. 

But that was the heart of the human condition, wasn’t it? Learning how to connect with other people, learning how to be selfless, learning how to care for others even when it hurt. Some other animals mated for life or formed connections with their partners, but humans were different. Being in a human relationship meant mutual growth.

_God, I’m falling apart._

Theodosia was speaking again. “ _Sowo, tali, tsoi, nvgi, hisgi, sudali...sudali…_ ”

Eliza felt a brief moment of panic. Was the IV in Theo going to start beeping right now? Was Theo going to die or something? “Theo, is everything…” 

Theodosia was staring forward, feeling a bit lost. Her eyes were burning, but she refused to cry. “I’m fine. _Hisgi, sudali...sudali_...dammit!” She looked at Eliza. “I can’t...I can’t remember. I should be able to remember this.” 

“You just went through a trauma,” Eliza reminded her. “Don’t worry about it.” 

“No! I should be able to remember this! I can’t just...forget!” 

“Sudali, you said? _Galiquogi. Tsunela._ ” 

“How do you know this?” 

Eliza gave a sad laugh. “When you said you were learning the Korean numbers, I had to do it myself. You know. To annoy you.” 

“ _Tsunela_. And nine is... _sonela._ ” 

“ _Tsunela, sonela, sgohi_. That’s ten. There.”

Eliza and John stayed for another hour or so, before leaving. Aaron remained in the room, looking at Theodosia. She stared back at him. Surprisingly, he was the one to break the silence, with a strange laugh. “I think we’re going to be alright, you know?”

Theodosia smiled slightly. “Yeah.” She made to grab his hand. He noticed with a tug at his heart that she was wearing the necklace he had given her.

“You’re okay.” He repeated. “You’re okay.” He held her hand very tightly and kind of wanted to kiss them to make sure that she was really there. She was okay. She was alive.

“I love you.” He whispered to their clasped hands.

Theo’s eyes went soft, “I love you too, Aaron. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”

“You know how beautiful you are?”

“Aaron, I was just shot.” 

“Yeah, I know.” He smiled at her. “But you’ll always be the most beautiful thing in my life. And you’re alive. That’s beautiful in itself.”

A weird kind of silence stretched between the two of them.

Burr sucked in a deep breath. “Is something wrong?” Had he gone too far? Said too much? That was supposed to be Hamilton’s problem, not his!

“No—it’s just that—the doctors…they told me something else. Something they found during the surgery and x-rays and God knows what else.”

“Theodosia, is everything okay?” 

“Do you really love me, Aaron? Like, you mean it?”

This was the weakest that Aaron had ever seen her. He was filled with strange fear, that she somehow had developed a tumor, that she had a life-threatening disease, that the doctors had discovered she was actually an alien. But strangely, none of that mattered. He squeezed her hand tightly. “I love you.”

“You promise?” 

“I promise.”

“...I’m pregnant.”

Out of all the things that he imagined, this was almost worse. Burr felt like the floor had dropped out from underneath him. He swayed a little bit. Shit, he was definitely going to faint. Pregnant? So this was why she had made him promise! And no wonder! She knew what an awful person he was, to be considering running away just because he couldn’t handle something like this. 

Theodosia watched Aaron. She believed that he loved her. That they had something real. But she was filled with fear that this would make him leave. After all, Aaron had a future, a real future in law or politics or something big, and Theodosia was aware of the fact that she was dragging him down. And a child would be a disaster for him! But he wouldn't just...leave, right? He was more responsible than that!

“Aaron?”

“Okay. Pregnant.” Aaron forced himself to inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, because he was not going to pass out or run away or do some other cowardly thing that meant he would never deserve Theodosia or a decent life! “Okay. How far along are you?” 

Theodosia let out a strange noise, and it was a few moments before either of them realized that it was a sob. “Two months. And I’m—I want to keep it.”

Burr looked up in surprise.

“I could have died Aaron—but I didn’t, and it’s made me realize—Aaron, I want a life with you! I want us to be endgame. I want a family, a house, all the trimmings, and maybe this is happening a bit soon, but—”

She was crying now, and she was so afraid, and Aaron was just staring at her—“Oh, shut up! It’s just the hormones!”

“It can’t be the hormones, Theo, I’m crying too and I’m definitely not pregnant.” He kissed her on the forehead, sitting down on the bed beside her. He wasn’t sure of anything at this point. But he wanted to be with Theodosia. In the end, he could see a life with her. He would follow her anywhere. Even through this.

They sat together, holding hands, until Theo had fallen asleep again. Burr stared at her sleeping form. Even though she wasn’t showing yet— _showing, shit, she’s going to be showing soon, she’s fucking pregnant—shit, what do I do, I am not ready to be a dad_ —

Surprisingly, it was the beeping of the machines that ripped Aaron’s mind away from the possible baby. Theodosia was what needed his worry right now. She had been shot! He was going to find whoever did this and murder them. He’d worry for her right now! She was the first person he had ever properly loved, and probably the last person, At least, romantically. He shifted his gaze to her stomach. 

No matter what, he would stay by her side. 

_I’m falling apart._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late update! I was visiting family for the last couple weeks and didn't have my computer. comments and kudos much appreciated ;)


	39. I Know I Don't Deserve You

John lay on his futon in the living room, staring up at the ceiling fan rotating in slow circles. Pillows were bundled around his head, blankets were piled around his feet—he felt kind of dead inside. Wrung out like an old towel.

Theo and Burr had mostly left him alone since her trip to the hospital, too caught up in the pregnancy glow to really pay attention to him. That suited John just fine if he was honest with himself. He watched the apartment slowly fill with baby supplies from his cocoon of quilts and blankets in the corner of the room. 

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. What the fuck was he doing? All around him everyone else was moving on from the shitshow of the past few months. Lafayette was running a hugely successful Etsy business with Adrienne, Angelica was getting accepted into what seemed like every Ivy League in the country, Theo was having a fucking baby and studying to be a social worker on top of that, Alex was—well, John didn’t want to think about what Alex was doing. 

John hoped viciously that Alex was feeling as supremely shitty as he was. He hoped he was lying in his bedroom, feeling terrible, wishing he hadn’t fucked up as much as he had, wishing John was still with him.

Not that John was projecting or anything.

His phone buzzed somewhere in the mass of bedding. _Great_ , John thought bitterly, _another worried text from Eliza_. He reached for his phone, fully prepared to make Eliza leave him alone.

**[unknown number]** : hey john

**john** : who is this

**[unknown number]** : uh it’s alex

**[unknown number]** : do you not have my number anymore???

**[unknown number]** : don’t leave me on read jfc

**[unknown number]** : uh i mean

**[unknown number]** : can we meet up?

John stared at the series of texts on his screen. No, he absolutely did not want to meet up. He didn’t want to see Alex’s stupid face ever again. Poised to type a scathing response, John hesitated as the little typing symbol blinked at him.

**[unknown number]** : please, john. I know i fucked up. i know i don’t deserve a chance. but give me a chance to redeem myself. i know i don’t deserve you, but hear me out

**[unknown number]** : that would be enough

He was not going to respond. He was not going to respond. He was not going to respond.

**john** : where

Okay, maybe a small response. But he would only go meet up with him to yell at him a lot.

**[unknown number]** : starbucks thank you

Oh, hell. Not the same Starbucks Alex had promised to meet him at then ran off with Maria that same night. John was most definitely not going to meet up with Alex, not after everything that had happened at that stupid Starbucks.

**john** : see you there

God fucking damn it.

Two minutes later, John had thrown on some clean clothes and brushed his hair back into a ponytail. He felt more like himself than he had in ages, and that was probably a bad sign. I’m not going to be an idiot, John repeated to himself. I’m going to be strong and cuss him out for what he did. The spring air was just chilly enough for John to feel the angry snap of the air. The city smelled like warm pavement, with the ever-present smell of garbage pervading the air. John waited at the bus stop until the bus he wanted came. No one tried to share a pole with him, probably because he was glaring so much. The bus came to his stop four stops later, and John considered just not stepping off. 

Because there it was. The same Starbucks John had been ditched at. Anger and shame and sadness filled John. 

Only this time, Alex was waiting there with a nervous look on his face. Seeing his stupid, adorable face with the dark eyes and long nose, the dark hair that was down for once, the aura of confidence and awkwardness and fear that was simply Alex—John wanted to scream. He wanted to cry. He wanted to punch Alex and kick him to the curb and make him feel pain and he wanted to hold Alex and never let him go. He got off of the bus, and observed his ex-boyfriend for a few moments.

His hair had gotten longer, his undereye bags were worse, but he was wearing the same ugly old Converse and ripped jeans as always. John squinted at the jacket he was wearing. Was that John’s jacket? John’s favorite green band jacket? That son of a bitch.

Strangely, the thought gave John the strength he needed. The burning tears in his eyes turned to burning anger. John stalked up to Alex, tapped him on the shoulder, and glared at him right in the face. “Is that my band jacket?”

“Uhh...” Alex looked reasonably frightened, twisting his hands in the too-big sleeves. “Yes?”

John grabbed the hood of the jacket and yanked Alex in the direction of the bus stop he had come from. “We need to have a talk,” he snarled, deciding that there was no way in fucking hell that he was going to get coffee with that fucking cheater.

Alex’s eyes were very wide as he was dragged along the sidewalk. John almost wanted to laugh. It was going to feel amazing to just yell at Alex. To scream and cry about how much he had hurt him, how his heart had been broken, how there was an empty hole in the pit of his chest because of him. He was not going to let forgiveness even _creep_ into his words! He was not going to think about how beautiful Alex had looked leaning against the wall of the building, how the sun had hit his hair and turned it to gold—fuck! No, he was angry at Alex. Not in love.

There was nothing where their love had been in John’s heart, he told himself. He focused on the crunch of the sidewalk under his feet and the feeling of the jacket gripped in his hands. Anything but the realisation that it was Alex he was dragging behind him, his Alex, the first boy he had ever loved.

They sat side by side on the bus stop bench. John smirked. They must make a strange picture to the average passerby. A tiny guy in a giant green sweatshirt and ripped jeans sitting next to a 6 foot tall, curly haired guy with a hole-filled shirt and turtle tattoos, both of them staring at the ground with varying degrees of anger and annoyance on their faces.

“So…” Alex ventured, twisting his hands in the sleeves of the band jacket, “can you hear me out?”

John fumed silently in his seat. Alex took that as a sign to keep talking.

“I know I don’t deserve to be talking to you right now. I’m eternally grateful just that—that you’re listening. I know that I fucked up, that I broke your heart—just please let me talk a little bit. I’ll leave you alone. I’ll let this be enough.”

John was still silent.

“I regret it, John. I regret it all! I’m so sorry that this happened, I’m sorry for pushing you, for not being there—but I’m not going to lie. I’m not going to say that I regret everything. There was no sexual _anything_ —” he gestured vaguely to accompany the statement, “—and we both helped each other through some shit. But I do regret how I handled it and how the word got out. I wish it never reached the point that it had. I know that there’s no replacing the relationship that was lost when I made those stupid tweets. I know you need time to think. I’ll leave if you want me to. It’ll break my heart—fuck, no, my heart is broken, and that’s all that I deserve. It’ll hurt, but I’ll leave. But please, _please_ —let me be with you for right now. That would be enough, too.”

John didn’t want to talk to him. Didn’t want to think about even the possibility of responding. Of forgiveness. But—

“Do you know how much you hurt me?” he asked quietly.

“Yes, I do, but—”

“No, Alex. I don’t think you do.” John said forcefully, “You broke my heart, Alex. You fucking shattered it into a million little pieces! I trusted you, I loved you, and you ruined everything for some girl! What did she do for you that I couldn’t? I can’t let this go, Alex! I can’t forget the hours I spent lying in bed, wishing I’d never met you, never came out, never fucking been alive—because look where it all got me. Sitting here with you on this stupid bus stop having a stupid conversation that we both know will fix nothing.”

The silence was deafening, only interrupted by the bus screeching to a stop in front of them.

John stood up, “I’m leaving, Alex. I don’t want to talk to you anymore. I don’t want to hear any more excuses.” He walked on to the bus and sat in the back, staring out the window. He paused. Where was—

Alex slid into the seat next to John. John kind of wanted to jump out of the window.

“Fuck _off_ , Alex.” John said, probably louder than he should have. 

The woman in the seat across the aisle put her hands over her child’s ears, glaring at them. “There are children on this bus!” 

“Sorry!” they said in unison. 

Alex started talking before John could cut him off. “Are you going to be okay?” 

“What do you mean? I’m fine without you!” 

“You have a place to live? You’re going to school?” 

“Are you my _dad?!_ Why are you asking me this?” 

“Because I care about you! I want to make sure that you’re going to have a good future—”

“If you cared about me, why did you cheat on me?!” 

Alex was only silent for a moment. “You weren’t there, John! For _months_ , fucking _months_ —” a gasp and accusatory glare from across the aisle “—I texted! You never texted back! I waited! I waited for so long! And then you said that we could meet up! You never showed! I felt like _crap_ , I was brokenhearted—can you really blame me for wanting to talk with someone?! And if it went a bit far—”

“Wait.” John’s tone was dangerous. “I didn’t show up?” 

“I found the Starbucks—way too hard, by the way—and then you weren’t there! And it was raining! And she was miserable, her boyfriend stood her up too—”  
“Oh, I was there,” John hissed. “For an hour and a half! I waited, and waited, and I knew that I didn’t deserve to see you again, not after running, but I hoped! I waited for you! And you never came!” 

“We were—we were—” Alex was hyperventilating. “We missed each other.” He let out a small screech. 

“What, are you a fucking pterodactyl now? Maybe if _you_ weren’t _late_ —”

“We were—we were—”

John’s anger—shame—pain, oh my God, we missed each other!—was building. “Ugh! Is this a fucking rom-com now?! We missed each other?! All this, because we missed each other?!” A thought came to him. “Wait! You still made out with another girl!” 

“I thought we were broken up! I’ve only loved you, John, you’ve got to believe me! We kissed about three times in five months, we just talked for the rest of it, because we both had shitty romantic lives—”

“Oh my God!” John was crying. “I’m an idiot—Alex, a fucking idiot! God, I hate you!” 

“I kind of hate you too!” Alex was crying too, and no matter how ridiculous they had looked before, this was worse. Because they were on a bus and this whole thing was ridiculous. “But I love you more! Can we just admit that we both fucked up?!” 

The entire bus was staring at them. John didn’t care anymore (and was also fairly certain that a few people were filming them). “How do we admit that?! Where do we go from here?!” 

A beat of silence, and then they were kissing, passionately kissing, with anger and shame and love and life and joy—

“Hey! There are children on this bus!”

XXXXX

Burr sat in the Peet’s, working on his homework. Fourth quarter of senior year had just started, and Burr knew that many seniors didn’t bother doing their work anymore. Logically, all of the other stress in Aaron’s life should have eclipsed his worry about grades. However, caring about grades was so deeply ingrained in him that he couldn’t stop himself from doing homework. 

Every few moments, his eyes flickered up to his email tab. Apart from homework, he had three priorities. First, he was managing the campaign of Charles Pinckney, a junior running for Student Council president. He had taken on the responsibility back in the winter, when his life had been less stressful, and the strain was getting to him. But he couldn’t back out now—that would undermine priority number two. 

That was college. Aaron had been accepted into Princeton earlier in the year, and Berkeley, MIT, and Duke had all accepted him. Princeton had been his priority. He was a legacy. His parents had wanted him to go there. Still, that door seemed as though it was slowly closing, or maybe it had been slammed shut when he hadn’t been looking, and he was only now realizing that he had to reevaluate. Princeton was over an hour away from New York City and WC Medical, where Theodosia was situated. Aaron had applied to NYU, NYIT, and JJCCJ, but none of them were particularly high on his list of priorities. Still, every time he got a notification of a new email, his heart began to race as he imagined letters of acceptance. He needed to go to somewhere in NYC. 

Mixed with anticipation when he got a new email was pure panic. Priority number three was Theodosia’s pregnancy. She was four months in, and the morning sickness had mostly abated. Still, Theodosia was prone to mood swings and strange cravings. Their apartment had turned into a mix of a restaurant and chemical lab. Every time that Aaron got an email, he worried that something had gone wrong in the pregnancy. He didn’t know if he could take that. What if something when horribly wrong? Aaron felt his heart racing. _I swear, if I drive myself to hyperventilation again—_

The door of the Peet’s opened, and Theodosia breezed in with the warm spring air. Her skin seemed to be glowing as if she was standing under the sun, and Aaron had to look away before the lump in his throat got to be too much. Damn, but he was lucky. He was the luckiest man on earth! Every time that he saw Theodosia, every time that he heard her voice and her words, he was reminded of why he would never leave her. 

Maybe it was crazy. Maybe it was stupid. But love wasn’t supposed to be rational. 

_What the hell is wrong with me?_ Parts of Aaron wondered. But the other parts of him were assured that he was making the right choice. 

Theodosia got in line, and Aaron quickly stood up and slid over to her, ignoring his laptop. “Theodosia, you can’t have coffee!” 

“Aaron, your computer.” 

“Remember what we researched! Ten ounces. No more!” 

“Sure, sure.” 

Sometimes Theodosia didn’t seem like she cared about her pregnant state, and that made Aaron panic. “Theodosia, please. Get tea. Or hot chocolate! Just not coffee. You can’t do anything—”

“The doctor says that the baby is doing fine. All systems operating normally. Development is fine. Surprisingly, when you weren’t there, we were able to get done in thirty minutes rather than three hours.”

Aaron brought his laptop to doctor’s appointments and took notes on everything the doctor said, carefully questioning the doctor on everything and asking questions that they had formulated in the weeks between appointments. “Did you ask about whether air pollution is too damaging?” 

“No, my dear, because you read that UCLA paper on air pollution affecting fetuses and infants and that told us what we needed to know.” 

“I’d rather hear it from a doctor. And did you ask about the effects of mold? Our apartment isn’t the cleanest. What if the baby grows up with allergies?”

“I didn’t ask, because that’s insane.”

“Several sites agree that mold affects infant development!” 

“Oh my God, Aaron. Who would have guessed that you’d be a freaked-out, overly-invested father?” 

“Theodosia, if you’re not going to be invested in this, then someone has to be.” 

They both gave an uncomfortable laugh. Aaron wanted to rescind, but he didn’t see how. 

“I am too invested,” Theodosia finally said. “Hot chocolate, please. Small.” She turned to Aaron. “See? I’m giving up coffee.” 

_Oh, shit, I fucked up_. “I will too.” 

“Now you’re even more insane than you were being earlier. Aaron Burr, give up coffee?” 

“Theodosia Bartow, give up coffee? I think that’s the crazy thing.”

“Like I said,” Theodosia smirked. “I’m invested.” 

Her name was called, and she got her hot chocolate before sitting down with Aaron and pulling out her own computer. For a while, they both worked on homework. She was taking civics and government to help her with social work, and they were both fairly difficult classes. _If I get through this year while pregnant_ , Theodosia sometimes griped, _then I’m Superman_. Aaron had to agree with her. He was honestly so impressed by everything that she was managing to pull off. When Aaron graduated from Continental, he would start working to help pay for the apartment, but for now, Theodosia was refusing to let him help on the grounds that she couldn’t take money from a high schooler. 

He watched Theodosia work for a moment. She had started wearing her hair up in high ponytails, ponytails made up of all the tiny braids on her head. Her eyebrows were furrowed as she stared at her computer. It was almost adorable. 

Aaron stared at his own computer, unable to focus on his final essay for Shake/Chauce. _What am I doing with my life?_

These quarter-life crises, as Aaron had decided to dub them, were becoming more and more frequent. Aaron loved Theodosia. He wanted a life with her. But having a child already?! Wasn’t that a little crazy? Aaron didn’t know if he could handle being a father! _I’m not going to leave her. I can’t leave her_ , Aaron reminded himself. 

But couldn’t he let himself panic every once in a while? He was trying not to feel as though Theodosia had roped him into anything. They were equal partners in their relationship. Any mistake that they made was equally their fault—

_Mistake?!_ What was he thinking?! There was no mistake here! Their child, their child, was not a mistake! He needed to stop being a selfish idiot and start thinking about their family! 

“You okay?” 

Aaron started, looking at Theodosia and forcing a laugh. “Yeah.” 

“You sure? You looked like you were the one that had been shot for a second.” 

Aaron simultaneously shuddered and glared at the floor. “I swear—”

“Don’t swear. Not around the child.”

“Oh my God, I’m awful.” 

“No. You’re wonderful. Seriously, babe, are you okay?” 

“I’m fine,” Aaron said, with the awful feeling that he was lying. 

“Okay,” Theodosia replied, and then snorted. “No. Just kidding. You’re not okay. Say what you mean, Aaron. We’re nothing without honesty.” 

“Wow. Can I get that last line on an edgy, hipster t-shirt?” 

“Oh, are you a hipster now?” 

“I don’t know. Here I am, at Peet’s, with my coffee and homework. And the very fact that we’re in NYC probably means that we’re hipsters.” Aaron tried to drive the conversation away from anything that would lead to an angry discussion. 

But Theo stopped him. “Oh my God, Aaron. I get it. You’re scared. You’re absolute shit at hiding it. I wish that you could just tell me.” 

_You have enough to worry about_. “I’m not scared.”

“Oh yeah? Because I am.” 

“No. I’m not afraid. I know that when I’m with you, things will always turn out alright in the end.” 

Theodosia gave a bitter laugh. “That’s bull, Aaron. Love doesn’t conquer all. I’m surprised that you believe that.” 

“Love doesn’t conquer anything,” Aaron clarified. “It’s a lifeboat, not a warship. And all that I need right now is a lifeboat.”

“You are crazy. You’re Aaron Burr. You don’t need a lifeboat, you need to build a cruise ship, and then be captain and crew and passengers on that ship. You’re the never-satisfied, always-moving type. I don’t know why you want to be dragged down.” 

_Fuck, I fucked up, I fucked up_ — “I’m not being dragged down. I’m getting a family.”

“You don’t want a family.” There was no accusation on Theodosia’s face. “We did this wrong, didn’t we? We should have considered an abortion, we should have been safer—”

“What’s done is done.” Aaron’s eyes were burning, and he could see that Theodosia’s eyes were shinier than usual. “We can’t change anything, Theo, and that’s what’s important. We can go forward, though, and I—I plan on going forward. Jesus, Theo! I want to be with you! I want to go through life with you, and that means moving forward and taking life’s hurdles as they come! We can get through this. I know that we can. Jesus, that was bad to say—we’re not going to get through this, we’re going to be a family—Theo, God, how can you say—”

They were both crying now, and Theodosia reached out and took his hand. “Have I m-mentioned that I love you?” 

Aaron couldn’t talk. He let out some gasps and tried to drag in enough air to stop himself from crying. When he had finally regained control of himself, he waited a few moments for his heart rate to go down and then finally spoke. “I love you too, Theodosia.” 

Then they both laughed, and there was heaviness and fear, but there was trust and happiness and Aaron knew that he hadn’t been lying. 

“Maybe we should name the kid Safety.” 

“Hell, no.” 

And then they were both laughing again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is so incredibly late! we're both pretty busy this summer w camps and traveling. let us know what you think of this chapter! comments and kudos much appreciated xx


	40. It Must Be Nice

“Can we get back to politics?”

“What politics?” Sybil Ludington asked, taking a long sip of her tea. “This is Student Council.” 

“What do you mean, there’s no politics in Student Council?” Jefferson demanded. “Small child, you mock me. You insult me! You insult the very fabric of our school. I’m disappointed that you don’t see how idle we’re being.” 

“We’re not being idle,” Madison said, shuddering as he used the word ‘idle.’ “There’s just no work to be done. We have elections in a few weeks, and then the school year is over.” 

“Yes, and we should be discussing elections. Of course, all of you will be voting for me.” 

They had spent the last few months changing the Student Council system so that the principal was the student council advisor rather than being the president. Now they could elect a student president. Jefferson was running. With that douchebag Hamilton completely discredited, he had assumed that it would be easy. But somehow, another junior, Charles Pinckney, had decided to run. He was a complete outsider, but he had Aaron fucking Burr managing his campaign, and that made him dangerous. Since Jefferson was a part of council already, that made him the incumbent. _And everyone hates incumbents._

“Oh my God, stop campaigning,” Mulligan begged. “I just want to relax.” 

“You’re not relaxing, you’re stalking Laurens and Hamilton,” Jefferson accused. 

Madison gave a cough that sounded a lot like ‘jealous.’ 

“I am not jealous!” Jefferson sputtered. “My beautiful cinnamon muffin, how could I be jealous when I have _you?_ ” 

“My squeaky grocery cart, you don’t _have me,_ or whatever you want to convince yourself of.” 

“You wound me, hibiscus water.” 

“I’m glad to know it, rain-soaked sock.” 

The door to the Student Council room opened and slammed shut, Pinckney following Burr in. _Oh, look, it’s old talk-less-smile-more, the Aaron Burr that we all love, and his little protege Pinkeye._ Jefferson had nothing against Pinckney, but that was because he knew nothing about him. _At least it’s not Hamiltrash. I fucking hate Hamiltrash._

“So,” Aaron said. “Shall we call the meeting to order?” 

“As everyone keeps reminding me,” Jefferson said, “we have nothing to do.” 

“Nah,” Ludington said. “I’ll listen to Burr. Just not you.” 

“Why do you hate me, small child?” 

“It’s partly that nickname. Partly everything you represent.” 

“Government,” Angelica said thoughtfully. 

Peggy groaned. “I keep forgetting that you’re basically a libertarian.” 

“And you’re an anarchist,” Eliza reminded Peggy. “So both of you hate Jefferson because he represents government.” 

“And he’s French,” Paul Revere added, wrinkling his nose. 

“Hey!” Lafayette said, offended. 

“Sorry,” Revere offered. “But, you know. Everyone hates the French.” 

“Informal poll!” Ludington called. “How many people here hate the French?” 

The room erupted into shouts, until Mulligan snapped, “we’re not going to talk about hating the French!” After the room quieted down, he asked, “who’s acting as president today?” 

They all looked at the calendar that showed the acting presidents. All of the representatives switched off. Jefferson wasn’t allowed to be president. Luckily, it was Angelica’s day, and she called the meeting to order. 

“So,” Burr said. “I’d like to discuss guidelines for the campaign. We’ve decided that posters are good, as long as there’s nothing inappropriate on them.” 

“Who’s checking to make sure that they’re not ina-pro-pro?” Jefferson asked. 

“Run them through one of the Schuyler sisters,” Lafayette suggested. He looked at Peggy for a moment and continued, “one of the older ones, at least. Or Madison.” 

“Madison favors Jefferson,” Greene pointed out. He winked slyly. 

Madison choked, and Jefferson grinned. “It’s true. We’re the dream team.” 

Madison smacked his shoulder. “Shut up!” 

“Okay,” Burr interrupted. “Angelica, Eliza, James, and me. We’ll keep things even. Now, we’ve decided that it’s okay to use the school broadcasting system to run ads.” Continental High had a weekly news broadcast that told everyone what was going on at school. Jefferson and Hamilton had collaborated on it. Somehow, it had gotten done. “But we haven’t discussed attack ads yet.” 

“Yes,” Jefferson said. “We’re trying to model actual politics here. No one holds punches in the real world.” 

Burr honestly didn’t care if they used attack ads or not. There was plenty of stuff to attack Jefferson for, and no one knew enough about Pinckney to attack him. In that way, he was a man after Burr’s own heart. Still, it was the principle of the thing that got to him. If they used attack ads this year, it would set a standard that insulting people at school was alright. That could seriously hurt other candidates’ mental states in years following this one. 

_Since when do I care?_ Part of him wondered. And then, of course, he always started visualizing a child that looked like him and Theodosia, sobbing due to an attack ad. _Fuck, is my kid running for president?_

“I say no,” Burr said. “We need to keep a safe environment.” 

“You and your safe spaces,” Jefferson snarked. 

The room was in an uproar again, people shouting at Jefferson. 

“Oh my God, you asshole!” Ludington called. 

“What, are you a fucking conservative now?” Revere asked. 

“You’re the very _definition_ of needing a safe space!” Peggy pointed out. 

“Everyone _shut up!_ ” Mulligan called again. 

The room fell silent until Peggy said, “Hashtag Mulligan for President.” Ludington pulled out her phone, and Jefferson had no doubt that she was tweeting it. He respected how quickly she was trying to get this trend going, but the small child annoyed him. Though that gave him an idea… 

“Have we discussed using social media?” Jefferson asked. He knew that he had more followers than Pinckney did. “I think we should be able to use social media.” 

“We can’t stop you,” Eliza sighed. “Though I wish you wouldn’t.” 

“As long as you’re not using the Student Council account, I guess,” Madison said. 

Burr was obviously unhappy about it, but the council voted yes on using social media. They narrowly voted down using attack ads, and managed to schedule a single debate for all elected candidates. After their two hours were up, they closed council and split ways. “Congratulations, we’re more productive than the actual Congress!” Jefferson called. 

It was Wednesday. Madison took the bus on Wednesdays, and Jefferson certainly didn’t know that because he was stalking Madison. He caught up with him after student council. “My little Almond Joy, can I drive you home?” 

“No.” 

It was starting to rain. Madison glared at Jefferson. “No.” 

“The buses are always late on Wednesdays,” Jefferson cajoled. 

“I’m surprised that you know it’s Wednesday.” 

The two of them began the walk to Jefferson’s car, and Jefferson started talking. “Since Burr is managing Pinkeye’s campaign, do you want to manage mine?” 

“My dear little inconvenient fire drill, why would I want to manage it?” 

“Because you’d get to spend more time with me, of course!” When James was silent, Jefferson added, “also, it’ll look good on college apps. I’m pretty sure that’s why Burr is doing it.” 

Jefferson knew that Madison couldn’t resist the thought of good college apps, and sure enough, Madison gave the sigh that meant 'yes.' 

“Excellent, my dear caramel macchiato! We start campaigning tonight!” 

“Caramel macchiato? Considering how crappy those are, it sounds more like something _I’d_ say.” 

“I forgot. You like your coffee as bitter as your beautiful, shining personality.” 

“And you like yours sweet enough to induce diabetes.” 

“Changing subjects. Can you rent me a campaign bus?” 

“I will quit, Thomas. Don’t think that I won’t.” 

“Okay. No campaign bus. Campaign scooter?” 

James snickered at that one. “Only if I get to record you riding on it and post it on Youtube.” 

“One. Your Youtube account isn’t popular enough to ruin anything for me.” James made an offended face. “Two. I don’t care if people laugh at me. That’s a problem for the weak. And I’m not weak. Three…” 

“Don’t say it.” v“Three. A scooter won’t be the only thing I’m riding tonight.” 

“Oh my _God,_ Thomas!” 

XXXXX

Over the next few weeks, the Jefferson vs. Pinckney campaign was getting to be the main focus of the Continental High election season. The other races were nowhere near as close. Jefferson was beginning to get worried. 

“Have you thought about getting more endorsements?” 

“From who?” Most of the student council was allied with Jefferson, and the ones who weren’t had already endorsed Pinckney. 

“You used to work together.” 

“Who?” Jefferson’s mind was whirling. “Wait…” 

“Yeah.” 

Jefferson’s shout of “how _could_ you?!” could be heard from around the school. 

XXXXX

**uriah.the.tracy @a.hammmmm** _who r u thinking about voting for?_

**james_hillhouse_saaavaaage @a.hammmmm** _same question. Jeffers or Pinck?_

**__Gouverneur.Morris__ @a.hammmmm** _as former treasurer of the council, i think you have the responsibility to tell us your opinion. no offense but u’ve kinda been hiding this whole election. tho after the laurens shit i’m not surprised_

**XxXxHumphreyMarshall @a.hammmmm** _ur fellow students would like to know who you’re promoting_

**Ben.goodhue @a.hammmmm** _it’s lose-lose tbh but who do u think is better?_

**john_peter_g_muhlenberg @a.hammmmm** _#JeffersonorPinckney_

**Eb.enezer_Mattoon @a.hammmmm** _honestly it’s #JeffersonorBurr_

XXXXX

_They’re asking me to lead._ That was all that Hamilton could think. His peers were asking him to tell them what to do. It was like last year, when they had wanted him to speak for the GSA. For some reason, people liked it when he was in a leadership position. 

_But why the hell would that be?_ Everyone knew that he had destroyed his reputation when the Reynolds Tweets had gone out. Everyone knew that he was low-key an asshole. He glanced over at his phone, wondering if he should call John and ask his opinion. _No._ He had to do this himself. 

“Alex! Dinner!” 

“Coming!” Alex shut his computer and ran down the stairs. He and Betsy sat down for dinner. “How was your day?” 

He was trying to make up for the months of apathy and insanity. It wasn’t just that he didn’t want to leave Yonkers. Betsy was an incredibly nice person and didn’t deserve all of his bullshit. But for some reason, she wasn’t sending him back. She was being receptive and helpful and altogether what Alex imagined a good parent should be. He only hoped that he was this good when he was an adult. 

_Alright. I’ll go for it._ “Can I ask you something? How much do you know about the student council election?” 

“Next to nothing. I know that Thomas Jefferson is running.” At Alex’s face, Betsy laughed. “Honey, he’s not that bad.” 

Alex shrugged. “It’s Jefferson versus this guy Pinckney.” 

“Oh, I know his parents.” 

“I’m sure that he’s fine. The problem is that no one knows what his views are. In that way, he’s almost exactly like Burr. Oh, and Burr is managing his campaign. So everyone can see where he gets that from. Basically, his campaign slogan might as well be ‘not Jefferson.’” 

“That sounds irritating. And rather like something you wouldn’t want in office. Not that I know very much. I don’t vote.” 

“Betsy!” 

“Just kidding, Alexander. Now, can I ask _you_ something?” 

“Of course.” 

“How would you feel about me adopting you?” 

Alex stared at her for a moment, open-mouthed. He couldn’t move. How was this happening? Wasn’t it supposed to be the opposite, with her sending him back? How was he this lucky? _Am I dreaming or something?!_

“But...why?” he managed. “I’ve been awful to you and I never shut up and I’m a huge di—I mean, jerk—why would you—” 

“I haven’t observed that. In fact, I’ve found that you’re a kind young man who is hugely intelligent, with a bright future. You’re too hard on yourself, Alex.” 

“But—but—” Alex was starting to cry. He couldn’t stop himself. “I—jeez—I’m sorry—” 

“Don’t be sorry.” Betsy was sniffing too. “Alex, what do you say?” 

Alex couldn’t believe that after seventeen years, he had finally found stability—kindness—a home. “Of course.” 

After a moment, he realized that she was hugging him. They stayed like that for a while. 

He went to sleep that night in a haze of happiness. He hadn’t told John yet. But he knew that he’d have time for that. Gone were the worries that he’d be sent away. The worries that there was no way any adult would ever love him. He had a home. 

There were only a few jobs left to do. 

Primarily, the election. 

XXXXX

**a.hammmmm** _so yall are asking to here my voice because yall have a hard choice to make_

**a.hammmmm** _*hear_

**a.hammmmm** _anyway_

**a.hammmmm** _Yeah, this election is pretty jacked so far_

**a.hammmmm** _teh choices r aful_

**a.hammmmm** _*the *awful_

**a.hammmmm** _and honestly I hate both of the cnadidates. **@Charles.Pinckney** is ipossible to understand b/c he has no ideals_

**a.hammmmm** _*candidates *impossible And I hate **@T.Jeffs.is.the.bestXxX** because he’s a huge dick, do I need to say more?_

**a.hammmmm** _bt if u had to ask who id prmot_

**a.hammmmm** _*but *I’d *promote **@T.Jeffs.is.the.bestXxX** has my vote_

**a.hammmmm** _I know we never agree adn tat weve fough abt literaly evryting_

**a.hammmmm** _but at the end of teh day **@T.Jeffs.is.the.bestXxX** actually has belefs and **@Charles.Pinckney** aka **@Aaron_Burr** hs NONE_

**a.hammmmm** _Sry bout the spellign errors_

**a.hammmmm** _guess who im making out w/ rt now_

XXXXX

MA BEST FRIEND JAMIE: have you seen these? 

TOMMY: BRO 

TOMMY: I’m calling you 

Jefferson went to his favorites page and excitedly pushed James’s number. “Bro!” 

“Well, I’ll be damned.” 

“Bro!” 

“Yeah. This is...surprising.” 

“Bro!” 

“Hamilton’s on your side.” 

“My perfect little glass of sunshine, you were right! Hamiltrash is a wildcard, and he went for me! At first I thought you were crazy, but you were right! Oh my God! I’ve got it in the bag now!” 

“I know.” 

“Go ahead. Make a comment about how we’re all screwed! I don’t even care!” 

James sighed on the other end. “I was going to say that I’m glad you’ll be our next president.” 

This was the _best day ever!_ “Bro!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't know how many of the people down there are actually Federalists but they have good names
> 
> I hope that everyone is doing well after this week. We love all of you! 
> 
> We'd love any comments and thank you all of you lovely people for reading!!


	41. But I Toe The Line

Burr fumed in his seat at his desk. His hands hovered over the keyboard in a new email. How did that bastard Hamilton endorse _Thomas Jefferson_ , a man he’d despised since the day he met him—just to keep Burr’s candidate from winning? Who _did_ that? “That sneaky, two-faced, tiny rodent,” he muttered under his breath. 

But not soft enough. “Which kind of rodent?” Theo asked. “Mouse? Ferret? Naked mole rat?” 

Burr just sighed. 

“That was an angry sigh, dear. Mark me impressed.” 

**To: Alexander Hamilton/Ross**

**From: Aaron Burr:**

_Dear Mr. Hamilton,_

_I apologize for sending this email to you. I understand that you are entitled to your opinion. However, I am entitled to mine as well, and I feel the need to vocalize it. You see, I am slow to anger, but you’ve crossed a line. I’ve been looking back at where I’ve failed, and in every place I check, you’ve been hanging around like a bad smell. You toss insults around my back—if you’ve got something to say, say it to my face._

_Thank you for your time._

_Your obedient servant,_

_A. Burr_

Alex stared at the email in his inbox. What the hell was Burr doing, attacking Alex now? Wasn’t he busy enough, hadn’t he done enough? This man was ten different kinds of crazy, but Alex wasn’t going to stand for this kind of disrespect. He could take it from random internet trolls (or so he told himself he could), but not from his longtime...well, not friend exactly. His longtime acquaintance. 

“What a dick,” he muttered. 

But not soft enough. “Who’s a dick?” John asked from his place on Alex’s bed. He had been spending time at Mrs. Ross’s house nowadays. 

“Burr.” 

“Oh. I saw the look on your face and assumed it would be Jefferson.” 

**To: Aaron Burr**

**From: Alexander Hamilton/Ross**

_Dear Mr. Snobby Asshole,_

_I’m glad that you’re vocalizing your opinion, so let me reciprocate. You aren’t clear on any of your beliefs, so excuse me for being a little surprised you’re actually sending this email to me. Seems like it’s one of the only clear decisions you’ve made in a while. I’m not the reason no one voted for you—or rather, your candidate, though it was hard to tell who was actually running. Neither of you would tell us your opinions or views on any issues. Not a smart move. And are you sure you should be attacking me when your girlfriend is pregnant? Don’t overwork yourself, honey. Wouldn’t want to stress out the baby._

_As for my opinions? When have I ever been shady about my feelings? From the moment TJeffs came to this school I made it clear I disliked him, just like from the moment you became involved in politics I made it clear I don’t agree with your methods. You only fail because of your own misguided ideals and methods, Burr. I appreciate the credit, though._

_Disagreements? I can tell you about disagreements, bitch. I keep a list. It’s alphabetized. Every single time we’ve fought or rubbed shoulders wrong, it’s on there (I’ve attached it for your viewing pleasure)._

_I don’t want to fight, but I won’t apologise for doing what’s right._

_Yr obdt srvt,_

_A. Ham_

**Attached: disagreementsAAA1.dox**

Aaron’s head was close to exploding as he saw Alexander’s next email. What did John see in him? He had taken Aaron’s email completely wrong, changing a slightly unfriendly email into something downright insulting! What right did he have to bring up Theodosia or Aaron’s life? He clicked on the attached document and almost screamed. “Oh, hell no!” 

“Don’t overwork yourself, honey,” Theodosia said. “Wouldn’t want to hurt the baby.”

“Goddammit, why does everyone act like I’m the pregnant one?!”

**To: Alexander Hamilton/Ross**

**From: Aaron Burr**

_Dear Alexander,_

_Watch your step. You wouldn’t want your temper getting ahead of that wonderful brain of yours. Answer for the accusations I made, don’t attempt to distract me with a list of arguments. And really, I don’t think disagreeing about what type of donuts to bring to a student council meeting is on the same level as our opposing essays on our views on war in the Middle East. You need to check your organization._

_Put up or shut up,_

_A. Burr_

“John! I think that Burr just said ‘fight me!’ Come see!” 

John slid on his socks to Alex’s computer. “No way.” 

“Yes way!” 

“Alex, don’t take this further…” 

Alex was already feverishly typing. “Oh, I’m taking it further.”

**To: Aaron Burr**

**From: Alexander Hamilton/Ross**

_Dear Mr. Snobby Asshole,_

_fuck youuuuuuuuuuu_

_A. Ham_

Theo snickered as she read Hamilton’s most recent email. “Say what you want about him, but he does have a way with words.”

“Oh, shut up.” Aaron turned back to his laptop. “I’m disappointed, honestly. I thought we could do this without childish insults.” 

“At this point, I think that our child’s first words will be ‘fuck you, Hamilton.’” 

“No swearing around the baby,” Aaron reminded Theodosia. “Alright. This has gone too far for too long. I have to end this somehow.”

**To: Alexander Hamilton/Ross**

**From: Aaron Burr**

_Dear Alexander,_

_Fight me, bitch._

_A. Burr_

Alex fumed at Burr’s most recent email. Dragging his cursor towards the _reply_ button, he was distracted by a loud crashing noise from the kitchen.

“John?” Alex called, turning to face the door. In doing so, he accidentally clicked the _forward to all_ button instead of _reply_.

“It’s all good, babe!” came the quick response.

Alex frowned, laughing a little bit against his will, and turned back to compose his response to Burr.

**To: CHS StuCo**

**From: Alexander Hamilton/Ross**

_Dear Mr. Rude Snobby Asshole,_

_Weehawken Park, dawn. You fight me, bitch._

_A. Ham._

Alex sent off the email and ran to the kitchen, “John, what did you do?”

But John was staring at his phone, completely ignoring the mess of broken plates at his feet.

“Uhh, Alex?” John sounded very nervous. “You wanna check who you sent that email to?”

A cold chill of fear ran down his spine. Apprehensively, Alex pulled out his own phone and looked at his most recent sent email.

_Email thread forwarded to [group]_ **CHS StuCo.**

“Shit!” Alex exclaimed loudly. A new email in the thread popped up, “Shit!”

**To: CHS StuCo**

**From: Thomas Jefferson**

_lmao the fuck is this_

**To: CHS StuCo**

**From: Angelica Schuyler**

_Are you kidding me? I expect more maturity from you, Aaron. I sort of get Alexander’s response, but seriously? Both of you guys grow up._

**To: CHS StuCo**

**From: Gilbert du Motier de Lafayette**

_lol yall are fuckin nerds_

**To: CHS StuCo**

**From: Paul Revere**

_i cant be the only one that wants to see Burr and hammy fight_

**To: CHS StuCo**

**From: Eliza Hamilton**

_Srsly guys shut this down._

**To: CHS StuCo**

**From: Sybil Ludington**

_do any of you guys even know what grammar is omg_

John sighed as he read all of the emails. “Sometimes, you take things way too seriously.” Alex was still grumbling about the emails, but John tried to ignore it. If he concentrated on everything that Alex said, he’d eventually go nuts. He pulled out his phone. Sure enough, Theodosia had texted him already. 

**Theo:** Our boyfriends r idiots

**john:** yeah

**john:** omg theo control aaron

**john:** he’s being mean to alex

**Theo:** I’ll keep him away from weehawken I guess :D haha theyre fuckin idiots

**john:** lol :P

**Theo:** lol :p :D

**john:** lol :D :D :D 

**Theo:** lol :P :D :PP :D :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god that was so much html code.  
> we've gotten a few questions about artwork and tumblr so here's the info!  
> my tumblr is @iinfiniteskies  
> way_out_there unfortunately does not have a tumblr :(((  
> tag me in any artwork you do there or tag it #trwihfic and i'll check periodically!  
> love yall, kudos and comments are much appreciated


	42. Confession Time, Here's What I Got

“Hamilton.”

The wind rustled the leaves on the trees, the sun peeking over the horizon and dusting everything with a soft glow.

“Burr.” Hamilton was standing across from him on the damp grass, one hand in his pocket and the other hooked in his belt loops. He looks much too casual for the occasion. “I don’t want to fight.” He looked scared.

Why was he scared? Burr was only doing what was right. Hamilton had been a blight on his life every since he came to their godforsaken school. His head felt cloudy. How did he end up with a gun in his hands? He didn’t know.

He didn’t know anything anymore. All he saw was the gun in his hands, pointing straight at Hamilton’s terrified face.

“Burr,” Hamilton whispered, eyes wide. “Please …”

Burr closed his eyes. Why was he doing this? He didn’t want to. He didn’t want Hamilton to die. Did he? Was he really about to do this?

He opened his eyes and glared into Hamilton’s eyes. “You did this to yourself, Alexander.” He curled his finger tighter around the trigger, all the while making direct eye contact with Hamilton.

“Okay, Aaron,” Hamilton whispered. “Tell John I love him.”

Burr faltered on the trigger. What was he doing? What was going on?

Hamilton slowly raised his right arm to the sky. A shock ran through Burr. He had a gun. Had Hamilton had a gun this whole time? Burr couldn’t die. He had a kid on the way. He had to look after Theodosia.

Burr stared out at the surrounding park. Is this what Theo wanted for him? To kill Hamilton in cold blood? He refocused on Hamilton’s stupid face and all other thoughts left his mind. Tightening his grip on the gun, he pulled the trigger.

The last thing he saw was Hamilton closing his eyes, whispering things to himself Burr couldn’t hear.

XXXXXX

Burr sat up in bed, clutching his chest and gasping. What the _hell_ just happened?

He stared around the room. This was Theo’s apartment. He recognized the familiar shapes around the room cloaked in darkness. 

Theo stirred next to next to him. “Aaron? Babe?” Her voice was thick with sleep.

Burr relaxed at the sound of her voice and leaned against the pillow. “Nothing. Just a bad dream.” He still felt electric and awake. He had to do something about this.

She wrapped an arm around his stomach. “Don’t stress out the baby,” she murmured into her pillow, smiling sleepily to herself. Burr laughed, settling against her and holding her hand. He stared at the blinking readout of the digital clock. 6:12. Maybe he should just go back to sleep.

But Hamilton. Stupid fucking Hamilton, endorsing Jefferson. Burr reached for his phone.

**Hamilton** : _it’s almost dawn. or are u 2 chicken?_

Why the hell had they chosen dawn for their meeting time? It was so inexact! Aaron checked the text again. It was sent at 6:05. Alright, then.

**Burr** : _Weehawken. Dawn._

**Hamilton** : _guns drawn_

**Burr** : _what_

**Hamilton** : _I meant fists up_

**Hamilton** : _sorry_

**Hamilton** : _UR ON_

Burr slowly rolled out of bed, wincing as his feet made contact with the cold hardwood floor. His too-long pajama pants brushed against the floor. It was a testament to how much he loved Theo that he actually wore the fluffy duck-covered pants she had bought him.

“Aaron?” Theo was awake again, looking at him tiredly. Her eyes were half-lidded with sleep. “Where are you going?” She blinked a few times, waking up a bit more. “This isn’t about Hamilton, is it?”

Burr hesitated. “No, of course not. Just going on a walk to clear my head.” He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. 

She tried to wrap her arm around him. “Come back to sleep.”

Burr smiled. “I’ll be back before you know I’m gone.”

XXXXXX

Alex lay awake in bed, staring up at the ceiling. He hadn’t slept all night, and now the blinking time on his watch read 5:56.

He rolled over to look at John. Not to be creepy, but John was absolutely gorgeous when he slept. His face was relaxed, his cheeks got squished up against the pillow, and his curly hair fluffed up around him like a halo. They had been having a sleepover. Alex had promised Betsy that he would stay on the air mattress. Well, since they had fallen asleep while watching _Bladerunner_ , it wasn’t his fault that they had ended up in the same bed.

Alex was a daft idiot when he was in love. But it was okay, because John was an idiot right along with him. He sat up to get a better view of the sky out the window. It was still fairly dark, but there was a hint of pink-orange on the horizon.

“Alex?” John blinked open his eyes. “Is everything okay?”

Alex rolled over to face him, tucking John’s hair behind his ear with a soft smile. “Yes, love.”

Alex loved early mornings, when the sun was barely peeking over and the sky was still dark. Everything felt peaceful and calm, like a dreamlike world where nothing was quite real. Time seemed to stop in early mornings. He knew that he was in high school, but he could honestly see himself waking up with John for every morning for the rest of his life.

He kissed John on the nose, “I love you so much.”

John smiled sleepily, “I love you too, you cheesy idiot. Now are you coming back to sleep? Because it’s literally six in the morning.”

“Yeah, I will,” Alex kissed him gently, “Just … give me a sec.” Alex rolled off the bed and stumbled into the bathroom, squinting at the bright light.

He stared at his reflection. His face was thinner than he remembered, and his hair was messy. He shut off the lights and went back to John, who immediately tried to pull Alex into bed to cuddle with him.

“Come back to sleep,” John murmured in Alex’s ear.

Alex smiled, “I’ll be back before you know I’m gone.”

XXXXXX

They arrived at the same time and had a realization at the exact same moment. 

_I’m wearing my pajamas._

It was a warm morning, so neither of them had realized. They had both been too preoccupied with the impending fight. Burr sighed, stepping forward into the park. In the darkness of the morning, the childrens’ playset cast strange, convoluted shadows on the ground. _I thought we were supposed to be fighting in the sun_ , Burr thought to himself. _Somewhere high up. And dry_. The morning dew was soaking the bottoms of his duck pajama pants. 

“Nice outfit,” Hamilton called across the park. He didn’t particularly want to be mean—wait, no, that was a lie. It was still dark out, and he hadn’t had his coffee, and he had been forced to leave John. Also, those pajama pants were stupid. Though Hamilton had to admit that Burr didn’t look horrible in the skintight white tank top he was wearing with them. 

Burr snorted. “I think that you’re the one that should be worrying about that. Have you seen yourself?” Hamilton was wearing a huge shirt—a dress, really—with _John x Alex 4ever_ written in hot pink across the front, and hearts drawn all over it. “Are you even wearing pants?” 

Hamilton pulled up the dress to reveal bright leopard-print shorts that were way too tight. “Yes, indeed I am.” 

Burr gagged. “Jesus! Drop your shirt!” 

Hamilton let the shirt-dress fall to cover the horrifying athletic shorts. “Alright. Are we doing this?” 

Burr forced himself to focus. “What the hell were you thinking when you endorsed Jefferson! You hate him!” 

“But at least he has beliefs. Why are you so angry, anyway? Pinckney was the candidate. Not you.” 

Burr felt his emotions bubbling below the surface. “Because for one of the first times in my life, I showed my beliefs to the world! I tried to care about something, just like _you_ recommended! And you took it away from me!”

Hamilton snorted. “Well, that’s life. Are you such a trust fund baby that you can’t deal with a bit of defeat—”

Burr heard a roar of white noise in his ears. He saw red in the corners of his vision. And he sprinted at Hamilton. 

Hamilton barely had time to move before Burr had tackled him. He slammed into the hard ground, getting soaked and getting the wind knocked out of him. He couldn’t defend himself before Burr’s fist smacked into his nose. Hamilton felt a burst of pain and started kicking out. He had been in brawls before. He knew what to do. He put one hand at Burr’s throat and pushed upwards, using his other fist to punch Burr in the face. But Burr was bigger and heavier than him. He didn’t move—

“What the _fucking hell_ is going on here?!” 

“Shit!” Alex and Aaron shouted in unison. Aaron jumped off of Alex, and Alex pushed himself off of the ground. They were both bleeding, but Alex had gotten the worst of it. 

“Explain!” Theodosia shouted. 

“Explain!” John yelled. 

“What the fuck!” 

“Why did you guys think this was a good idea?!” 

“Jesus fucking Christ, are you _children!?_ ”

“Burr, you’re _graduating_ in two weeks!” 

“Hamilton, I thought that you were supposed to be the genius or something!” 

“What the fuck?!” 

“Fuck!”

“Fuck!” 

Aaron’s face was burning. Alex felt like he might throw up. The two of them, in their wet, grass-covered, bloodstained pajamas, stood facing their significant others as Theodosia and John screamed at them. 

“You two are in _so much trouble!_ ”

“So much!” 

“Fuck!” 

“So much trouble!”

“Oh my God!” 

“Wait! Alex—” John rushed over to his boyfriend, who was bleeding profusely. “I think your nose is broken!” He turned to Aaron, a deathly glare on his face. “You asshole!” 

He threw himself at Aaron, but Theodosia held him back. She shoved John to the side. “Oh, I’ll deal with this one!” 

“The baby!” the other three of them shouted in unison.

That was the only thing that made her stop. She glared all around her. “Jesus fucking Christ, you all are huge idiots and I can’t believe that I have to deal with this! I thought that I would get to wait a few years before our kid was getting into brawls, but no, _you two_ , the most mature people at Continental High, are fighting with each other! Jesus! It’s _student council_! Not real politics! Stop getting so into it! GAH!” 

Her throat felt like it might bleed, so she stopped herself, pointing at Aaron. “You, sir, are _walking_ home! For the next few years!” 

“I,” John said to Alex, “am not going to kiss you for the next few months!”

Burr and Hamilton exchanged defeated glances as John and Theodosia got back into Theo’s car and slammed their doors. 

“I guess I’m sorry,” Aaron muttered.

“I crossed a line, man. I’m sorry about that.”

“You might want to get someone to check out your nose.” 

“Yeah. Nice punch.” 

“Um…” 

“I still don’t like you.” 

“Good. Glad we have that clarified.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updates are sporadic and we have no excuse. school is kicking our sorry asses.  
> comments and kudos make our days :-)


	43. What I'm Proudest Of

Alex and John sat next to each other on a park bench in stony silence. The peace of dawn had broken ages ago, and now they were both sweating in the muggy sunlight. They probably made quite the picture, Alex smirked to himself. Two high schoolers sitting in fuming silence in their pajamas at seven o’clock in the morning. 

“So.” Alex attempted to break the heavy silence. John pointedly ignored him. 

The quiet stretched on. Alex watched Theo get into her car and drive off, leaving Burr looking very defeated in his duck pajama pants. He had hovered on the curb for a few seconds before trudging off to the nearest bus stop. 

“So-o-o …” Alex dragged out the word, trying in vain to be funny and make John laugh. He poked his shoulder, “So-o-o-o-o …” 

John twisted his mouth in the exact way he did when he was trying not to laugh, “I can’t believe you!” He exploded, hitting Alex on the arm, “I! Can’t! Believe! You!” He punctuated each word with another smack on the arm, “Of all the ways to confront Burr, you do it like that? Wrestling with him at dawn in a childrens’ park?” 

Both of them were laughing. 

“Oh my god, his pajamas,” Alex snickered. 

John snorted along with him. “I mean, your’s aren’t much better.” 

“What?” Alex gasped in mock-horror. “You mean you don’t like my _John x Alex 4ever_ shirt? You wound me!” 

John laughed, leaning against Alex’s shoulder. “I can’t stay mad at you.” 

“Aw, I know, love.” 

“Shut up.” 

Alex turned in an attempt to kiss John. John leaned away. “Nope, no kissing for the next month.” 

Alex smirked. “You won’t survive that. It’ll be as much of a punishment for you as for me.” 

John turned red. “Shut up.” 

XXXXX

Aaron looked defeatedly at Theo’s middle finger raised at him through the car window. It would be a long walk home. 

He mused to himself about how to win back her affection. Probably a long letter about how stupid he had been, like his apology letter about the whole cheating fiasco. Aaron groaned. He definitely didn’t want to do that, but he didn’t see how else it could be fixed. 

Sitting down at the bus stop, he began to compose the letter in his head. Finding a seat on the bus, he continued to. And walking up the stairs to Theo’s apartment, he finished it. Theo’s apartment because, like it or not, they basically lived together already. 

He slowly unlocked and opened the door to a completely dark apartment. Confused, he stepped fully inside. He saw light coming in form under the door to their bedroom and opened it a crack, peering inside. 

Theo sat on the bed, sheets crumpled up in her fists and tears leaking down her face. 

Aaron’s eyes got very wide. He rushed in. 

“Theo?” 

She looked up at him, eyes watery. “Aaron?” 

“Oh my god, are you okay?” 

She sniffed, wiping at her eyes. “Yeah, it’s just hormones.” 

“No it isn’t.” Aaron sat next to her. “What’s wrong?” 

“Well, it’s just that I was thinking about how we were fighting. And how we fight so much and every time it seems like it will be the last one but somehow we stay together. But babies are so stressful! And we’re only nineteen! And I wake up every morning and think this will be the end. What if we can’t do this, Aaron? We’re just teenagers. Why did we think this would be a good idea?” She took a shaky breath. “I just wish I could be calm about this. I wish I could be strong and powerful and know exactly what I’m doing all the time. 

“But I don’t! I don’t know what I’m doing ninety percent of the time and I just feel so much goddamn pressure with college next year and a fucking baby on the way and we’re fighting every other day. I just—” she took another breath and leaned forward, “—I wish I could be strong.” She whispered the last part to the floor. 

Aaron was silent next to her. He’d had no idea she was feeling like this, why she had been lashing out at him all the time and only seemed calm when she was asleep. And now he knew, and loved her even more for it. 

“Theodosia,” he began slowly, “I have loved you from the moment I first met you. I thought you were beautiful and headstrong and powerful, and I never stopped believing that. Not when I found out about Jacques, not when we broke up, not when I found out you were pregnant—never. 

“And now that you’ve told me all of this, I love you even more. You say you’re not strong but that is a goddamn lie, Theo, because you awe me with your strength. Yes, you’re twenty and pregnant, but you’re handling it so well. And now that I know you feel this way every day, I love you even more for it. 

“Because I’ve been scared during this too. Every time I wake up in the morning I feel terrified, because this is all new and scary but I know I can handle it because I have you, Theo. No matter how stupid I’m being or how much we fight, I know I’ll always have you. And I love you, so damn much.” 

XXXXX

Alex trudged into the—his—house, holding a tissue over his still-bleeding nose. It had slowed to barely a trickle, but still. 

“Alex!” Betsy rushed into the front hall, looking harried, “Where have you been?” 

Alex froze. It was around eight now, meaning that he had been gone for at least two hours. “Uh...” 

“You left, then John went running after you fifteen minutes later. No explanation! No note! Beds empty! I was worried sick! Do you have any idea how worried I was?” 

Alex tried to be scared and shameful, but he was trying not to smile. She was being such a mother to him, it was an amazing experience. 

“Why are you smiling? Heavens, I was so scared!” She pulled him into a fierce hug. Alex winced. For such a tiny woman, she was very powerful. 

Alex pulled away. “It’s just … I haven’t had any worry after me like before.” 

She put her hands on her hips and smiled fondly. “Don’t worry, son, there’s plenty more where that came from.” She scrutinized him, suddenly glaring again. “Sweet Lord! What happened to your face?” 

Alex’s hands went to his bruised, bloody nose. “Uh...” He replied dumbly. 

She grabbed his arm and bustled him into the kitchen. “Ice! You need ice! How did that even happen? Did you get in a fight with a boulder?” 

He snickered. “Something like that.” 

XXXXX

“So. You’re the president.” 

Jefferson grinned his shark-tooth smile at Hamilton. The poor idiot looked slightly sad. Well, it was all his fault, really. Not that Thomas was complaining. “Yes, I am. Are you going to congratulate me?” 

“No.” 

“Well, sadly—actually, happily—I won’t have to deal with you next year anyway.” 

“Wait for it.” Alex was smirking. 

“Excuse me?” 

The intercom crackled on. Mrs. Warren’s voice came loud and clear, saying, “the rest of the Student Council is as follows. Freshman representative, Timothy Bloodworth. Sophomore rep, Dicey Langston. Junior rep, Margarita Schuyler. Senior rep, Elizabeth Schuyler. Sports rep, Sybil Ludington and Hercules Mulligan. Elective rep, James Armistead and Lydia Darragh. Party planner is...um...Gilbert du Motier and team. Charles Pinckney is vice president. Secretary is James Madison. Treasurer…” There were some shuffling papers. “Well, this is a first. We have had a write-in candidate win the vote. Treasurer is Alexander Hamilton. And as you all know, Thomas Jefferson is your president. Great job to everyone. Please report to room 118 after school.” 

Alex turned and gave a sarcastic grin to Jefferson. “Actually, I think that you do, in fact, have to deal with me.” 

“Fuck!” Thomas swore. He was going to have to see Alex’s stupid face for the rest of next year! “I don’t suppose that the idea of spending time with me will make you quit?” 

“Nope. I look forward to being a... _bur_ …in your side.” 

“Gah! A pun! Fuck you!” 

“I’m sorry,” Alex said. “Wait! No! I’m not sorry!” 

“And you’re not going to move to New York City to spend more time with your boyfriend.” 

“Not until college.” 

Jefferson groaned. “Oh my God.” 

Lafayette had taught Alex how to pirouette, and now he did just that, spinning away from Jefferson. “See you next year, bitch!” 

“We’re meeting after school, you moron!” 

All that could be heard was Hamilton’s laughter. Thomas yelled, “I hate you, Alex!” in a slightly friendly way. But mostly with hate. 

“I know!” Alex shouted back. “And I mean that in the least Star Wars-y way possible!” 

XXXXX

**Four Months Later**

_Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!_ Aaron let out a small scream, smashing his head into his car wheel. The horn went off. Aaron didn’t even care. _Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!_ He pushed down the gas pedal, zooming out of the JJCCJ parking lot. He didn’t have a pass to leave school. He didn’t care. _Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!_

“Siri, text Theodosia!” Aaron yelled. “Theo, I’m on my way—” 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t get that.” 

“Gah! Fuck you, Siri!” 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t—” 

Aaron grabbed his phone and manually found Theodosia’s contact. _Fuck! I’m breaking like ten laws! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!_

“Hi. You’ve reached Theodosia Bartow. I can’t talk right now, but please leave a short message.” Theodosia’s voice was calm and collected. Her text had been frantic. 

The thing beeped, and Aaron practically screamed, “Theo, I’m on my way! I’ll be there in half an hour! I love you! I’ll see you!” 

He clicked the ‘end’ button and then kept his eyes glued to the road. _Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I’m not going to die in a fucking car crash! Eyes on the road, Burr! Shit, am I buckled in?!_

He was, in fact buckled in. He barrelled down the highway, aggressively driving, and flipped off a driver that cut him off when he tried to switch lanes. As he got further into Staten Island— _why the hell did we choose a hospital in Staten Island?!_ —the road became more and more congested. Aaron let out a screech and pulled over, parking. He got out of the car, slammed the door, and began sprinting. He knew the way to Astoria General Hospital from the John Jay College of Criminal Justice by heart. 

His lungs were burning. He didn’t care. Finally, the hospital loomed in the distance. Aaron shoved the doors open and sprinted up to the desk. He forced himself to regain his breath. “Theodosia...Bartow…” he huffed. “Where…” 

“516.” 

And Aaron was off again. 

He ignored the slow, inefficient elevators for the stairs, the lovely stairs! He sprinted up them— _I’m going to die!_ —and stopped on the fifth floor, yanking open the door and sprinting down the hall. He angrily knocked on the door on 516 and heard Theodosia screaming at the doctor to let him in. 

The door opened, and Aaron couldn’t shove his way in fast enough. “Theodosia!” 

A scream greeted him. 

“Hold her hand!” the doctor ordered. “We’re good here.” 

“Are you sure? This doesn’t look good!” 

“I’m a doctor! Don’t make me make you get out!” 

Aaron didn’t respond, taking Theodosia’s hand. “I’m here, babe—it’s going to be okay—I love you—” 

Theodosia screamed again. “Fuck!” 

“No swearing—” 

“Fuck!” 

“Alright, then! Fuck! Honey, do you have an—” 

“I had the epidural! Shut up!” 

“Okay!” 

She was crying. 

“Push for me, Theodosia!” the doctor said. 

“Aaron!” Theodosia screeched. 

“Yes?” 

“The first time I met you? I thought that your shirt was the stupidest fucking thing that I’d ever seen!” 

“I know! You told me!” 

“But at the same time, I loved it!” she continued to babble, spilling secrets about the last few years. “Oh, remember when you were apologizing to me a few months ago? When you were a fucking idiot and punched Alex? I thought about comparing you to Hamilton because your apology was so long-winded and fucking stupid but it didn’t seem like a good time! God, you’re so much like Hamilton sometimes that it’s weird! FUCK!” 

“Push!” 

“I am pushing!” 

“Breathe!” 

“I AM BREATHING, YOU IDIOT! If I wasn’t breathing, I’d be dead! You need to think before you speak!” 

“Theo, honey—” 

“Shut up, Aaron! You got me into this mess! I hate you!” 

“Come on, babe! You’re a rockstar! You got this!” 

She didn’t got it, as it turned out. They stood there for several hours. Aaron didn’t care. He let Theodosia grip his hand and squeezed her hand back, comforting her, encouraging her, screaming along with her throughout the night— 

And then suddenly, there was a new thing screaming in the room, and as Aaron and Theodosia sobbed, a nurse took their child. She brought the child back a few minutes later, swaddled, and handed the child to Theo. 

The nurse had to say ‘girl’ three times before Aaron fully heard her, and then he was sobbing again. “We have a girl, Theo, we have a girl—” 

“Our first and last child.” 

“We have a girl—” 

“I know. Oh my God.” 

Aaron put an arm around her shoulder, and suddenly it was like there were only three of them in the world. 

XXXXX

**Burr:** _it’s a girl_

**Alex:** _JKDLFJ:OIWJE SDJFIOJWE:L JDIOJ_

**Alex:** _FUCKINGSHITFCKSHFS HOLYY S H I T_

**Burr:** _jesus christ, language_

**Alex:** _NAME_

**Burr:** _Theodosia Bartow, Jr._

“Holy shit, John! They had their kid!” 

The two of them engaged in some jumping and squealing. “Oh my God! Oh my God!” John threw his arms around Alex. “Oh my God!” 

“I know, right? That’s so amazing!” 

_Will we have a family?_ John cut that thought off. “We should go see them!” 

Alex didn’t move, simply hugging John tighter. “After a moment.” 

“Why—okay.” 

John hugged Alex back. He thought that he must be choking his boyfriend. A sniff from Alex, and John realized that he was crying. As a tear traced down his face, he realized that he was crying too. 

“Love you,” John mumbled. 

“I love you more.” 

“Let’s just say that we’re equal in our love. That’s easier.” 

“Fair enough.” 

They stayed like that for a few more minutes, just hugging, until Alex said, “I think a moment is up.” 

John shook his head. “Our time is never up. And a moment is all that we need.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...what did we just write. 
> 
> That got way too intense. wow.
> 
> Um. Yeah. not quite over yet. Got like one more week to go.


	44. Epilogue

“But Jo-o-ohn,” Alex pleaded.

“Oh my God, for last time, we’re not getting a dog,” John groused.

“But it would be so great! We could take it on walks, play fetch, cuddle with it...” Alex continued to list his various reasons to get a dog, leaning on the back of John’s chair.

John rolled his eyes. He loved Alex, he really did, but he had to finish his paper his chemistry class. Both he and Alex were at NYU, John a chemistry major looking to be a professor and Alex going into law. They shared a small apartment in Manhattan, and Alex had been pushing for a dog since they had moved there.

“John, please?” Alex turned and put his head on John’s shoulder, brushing aside his curls of hair. “I’ll love you forever.”

“Alex, our apartment doesn’t even allow pets.”

“We can hide it in the hall closet! It’s fine!”

“No, Alex, we are absolutely not doing that.”

“Fine,” Alex pouted. “But we’re getting one later, okay?”

John turned around, smiling with vague amusement. “Later?”

“Well, yeah.” Alex looked at him like he was stupid. “When we live in a cute house in the suburbs with our seven adopted children.”

“Seven?”

“And you’ll be on the PTA and always getting in fights with Barbara about her chocolate-chip cookie recipe while I have a flourishing career in law. All of our kids will be on the honor roll, obviously, and we’ll go on yearly vacations to Disneyland.”

John smiled at Alex.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that.” Alex laughed.

“Like what?” John tilted his head in mock confusion.

“Like I’m the only star in the whole universe. I’m no star, John.” Alex closed his eyes.

“Oh, Alex. Don’t you get it?” John shook his head. “You’ve been the only star in my universe for a long time.”

XXXXX

“Are you sure that you’re fine with us not sharing an apartment?” Eliza asked her older sister. 

The two of them had spent the day walking around Boston. Eliza was going to start at the Boston College of Social Work, and since Angelica was going to Harvard, it would have been easy for them to be roommates. But strangely, Eliza didn’t want to. She loved her sister more than anything, but she wanted a chance to learn more about herself on her own. 

“Of course,” Angelica promised. “We can still see each other on weekends. And anyway—” she hesitated. 

“Is it the boyfriend?” Eliza asked. 

“If you must know,” Angelica said, “John suggested that we move in together.”

Eliza’s squeal echoed across Boston Common. Angelica and John Church were an oddly matched couple, but they worked. “That’s awesome! But remind him that if he ever hurts you, I’ll murder the shit out of him.”

XXXXXX

It was funny. Back in Yonkers, no one had ever pointed out how short Madison was. He had been too respected. But here in LA, people just loved making fun of him for it. Most of it was good-natured. Still, there was something very annoying about being known as “the short med student.” Madison felt like it was stopping him from being a normal college student. Maybe it was a psychological thing, but he wasn’t being invited to as many parties or on as many dates as other men in his class.

Not that he would have accepted. Especially on the dates. But—well, that was a discussion for another time. Madison went through school at UCLA, throwing himself into his work and making friends where he could, but mostly focusing on his studies. After a few weeks of choking on smog, he visited a doctor and was diagnosed with asthma, which was hugely annoying. It was strange. He had always been waiting for college, but now that he was there, it felt strangely disappointing. 

Maybe that was why he was so excited to receive a call from Thomas. His voice wasn’t sarcastic enough when he picked up, and Thomas seemed to notice.

“Everything okay?”

“I’m diseased.”

“What?! You should have told me before we—” 

“Oh my God, Thomas. It’s just asthma.”

“Oh. Well, you gave me a fright.”  
“Nothing that I said implied that I had an STD.” 

“Shut your face, my beautiful buttercream frosting on chocolate cake.” 

Madison didn’t say an insult in return, which was a problem, because Thomas once again zeroed in on his mental state. “How are things going for you, Jimmy?”

“Fine.”

“Oh. Well, it’s too bad you’re having so much fun, because I need you back in Yonkers.”

The prospect was strangely enticing. Madison hated Thomas most of the time, but, well—talking to him gave Madison a strange feeling. Like he was empty inside, but at the same time finally complete. “Why do you need me in Yonkers?”

“I have a challenge to complete.”

XXXXX

“I’m just saying,” Mulligan pointed out, “Coach loves to bench me.” 

“He does not bench you,” Mulligan’s friend Austin Roe said. “You play way more than I do.”

“Yeah, and you barely play! I’m an U of Wisconsin on a football scholarship! Why isn’t he using me more? I just feel like I’m useless!” 

“You’re not useless,” Austin insisted. “Why do you care so much, anyway? The more you play, the greater your chance of dying from being tackled.” 

“Man, if you insult football—”

“Jesus, I’m sorry!”

XXXXXX

**To: John Ball**

**From: Henry Laurens**

_Dear John,_

_I notice that you have switched to using your mother’s surname. I’m sure that she would be proud to have someone like you carrying on her family name. I cannot deny that you have done well for yourself in your final year of high school and your first year of college. It seems as though you will go far._

_Make no mistake, I still think that what you are doing with Alexander Hamilton-Ross is unnatural, and if there truly is a hell, it is very likely that you will be going there. I wish that you would end this foolishness. This is not your only chance at happiness._

_However, in the event that you do not end the relationship and return to the proverbial fold, I would be interested in meeting with you at some point, simply for some discussion. I do regret the note which we ended our relationship on. After further consideration, I may have gone too far._

_Sincerely,_

_Henry Laurens_

“John? Are you okay?”  
“I’m fine, Alex.”  
“Are you sure? You’re crying.”  
“Alex...um, could I have a hug?”  
Alex grabbed John and buried him in a bone-crushing, hug.

XXXXX

“Theo! I think that she said her first word!” 

“Aaron, she’s five months old.” 

“Dosia, honey, say it again.” 

“Da!” their daughter giggled. 

“That’s not a word,” Theodosia insisted. “She’s just babbling. The doctor said that we’d trick ourselves into hearing things, remember.” 

“Your mom doesn’t believe it,” Aaron told his daughter. “But don’t worry, I do. Now, where were we…”

“Aaron! Stop reading our child _The Grapes of Wrath!_ ”

XXXXX

“Eliza!” Mary called from where she was sitting in the living room with her laptop. “Quigley is being an asshole again!”

“Can’t you deal with it?” Eliza replied from her place at the windowsill with her book.

“Nope! I’m writing!”

Eliza groaned and got up from her seat. She made her way into the living room and immediately started laughing.

Mary Draper and Eliza had been roommates for around six months, and had gotten a cat together at around the three month mark. The people at the shelter had warned both of them about his asshole tendencies, but had been ignored.

Their cat was a rampaging dick. There was no way around that fact. He knocked over cups while making direct eye contact with the user of it, he tore up drapes, nibbled on cookies, licked the faucet, and was generally a huge pain in the ass.

Now he was dangerously close to eating Mary’s lunch.

“Eliza!” Mary screeched.

Eliza cackled.

“Eliza!”

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” Eliza rushed over to scoop Quigley away from Mary’s sandwich. She dumped him on the ground then sat next to Mary on the couch.

“So what are you working on now?”

XXXXX

“Give me the large.” 

Jerry from Pizza Barn shook his head. “You’re insane.”

“I said, give me the large.” 

Jefferson glared at Jerry until Jerry sighed, going into the back to get a large slice of pizza. Pizza Barn sold the world’s largest slice of pizza, and Jefferson was challenging himself to eat it. He had heard a rumor that Hamilton had eaten it, so Jefferson had used his weekend trip from Columbia University to Yonkers to go to Pizza Barn and eat that damn pizza.

The door jingled. Jefferson turned to see James walk in, and squealed as he glomped his friend. “Jimmy! My lovely five-star taco!”

“Thomas. My dear wet, sandy sock.”

“You’re here for moral support.”

“I can’t believe you’re doing this.”

Barely five seconds, and their rapport was already back. Jefferson grinned at his best friend, a strange feeling in his stomach. For a moment, he wanted to stop giving James the stupid nicknames that James hated and actually have James like him, respect him. But he ignored that. 

Jerry brought the pizza, a huge slice the size of Jefferson’s torso. Jefferson sat and began to eat.

Two hours later, he was sobbing as he forced himself to swallow the final bites of pizza. But he had done it. He had eaten it all! Madison sipped his Coke, raising an eyebrow.

“Hey, Madison?”

“Yes?” Madison sighed.

“Do you like me?”

James went red, and Thomas thought his own face was heating up as well. Finally, James nodded. “Yeah. You’re...important to me.”

XXXXX

“So.” 

“So.” 

John was gay, and he couldn’t deny that Maria was gorgeous. Still, she couldn’t meet his eyes. “Look. I’m really sorry—”

“It—it doesn’t matter.” 

“No, it does. I can’t believe that I broke you and Alex up. I am so sorry! Seriously, I would understand if you hated me—”

“It doesn’t matter,” John repeated. “Look, we’re good now. Though, if you ever hit on him again—”

“Oh my God, no! Of course not!” 

“Cool.” John smiled at Maria. “By the way, I love your hat.” 

“Thanks.” Maria blushed. “My boyfriend knitted it for me.”

XXXXX

Lafayette and Adrienne both stared at the letter. Lafayette hadn’t known his uncle Francois Leclerc very well, and now Uncle Francois had died. Adri patted Lafayette on the back. “I’m sorry, honey.” 

“It’s okay.” 

Lafayette said a quiet prayer for his uncle while Adrienne went through the rest of their mail. When he opened his eyes, Adrienne was holding another letter. “Gilly? This one talks about his will.” 

“Oh.” 

“Apparently, there’s a clause that gives you the marquiship. And a mansion! Dude!” 

“Adrienne, my uncle just died.” 

“Right. Sorry.” 

Lafayette looked at the letter. “Wait. We have a coat of arms?” 

“Yeah. Apparently.”

“And a motto!”

They both looked at the will. _Motto of the House of La Fayette: Why not?_

The two of them burst out laughing.

“We’re horrible people,” Lafayette decided.

XXXXX

“And I’m still in high school!” Peggy complained. “Fuck!” 

XXXXX

It was amazing to see all of their friends again. They had all come back to Yonkers for their first summer after starting college. Eliza and Alexander ran at each other and buried each other in a hug. Lafayette and Mulligan were involved in a strange ritual that involved punching each other on the shoulders. Adrienne and John quietly chatted with each other. 

“Are you sure that you’re not concussed?” John fretted over Hercules. 

“Yes, mother,” Mulligan replied. 

“You’re sure.”

“Alex! Get him off of me!” 

“Down, John.” 

Mulligan gagged. “Fuck! I can’t be the only one who was thinking dirty thoughts when you said that!” 

Aaron frowned at him. “Not around my child, please.” 

The Bartow-Burrs had arrived, Dosia already walking. Mulligan went absolutely berserk, running to pick up Dosia, who laughed. They had only met once or twice, and already Mulligan was Dosia’s favorite person. The rest of them all hugged, shook hands, and sat down at a table in the diner to order food. 

“Thinking about more kids?” Lafayette asked Theodosia. 

“Frick you,” Aaron and Theodosia said in unison. 

They all ordered drinks. Alex got a Sprite, grinning at John. “I never really liked these.” 

“What?!” John said. 

“Hey, guess who became a nobleman in France!” Adrienne said to avert the argument, pointing at Lafayette. 

The statement was greeted by silence. “...are you even real?” Theodosia finally asked Lafayette. 

Lafayette shrugged, and the conversation moved on. 

In a while, Eliza was telling them about Quigley the Asshole Cat. 

“This is why we can’t get a pet,” John told Alex. 

Alex snorted. “Um, excuse me, dogs are better than cats, John.” 

“What?” Eliza said. “Goddammit, Alex, this is why we wouldn’t have worked as a couple. Oh my God, you’ll never guess who I saw!”

They all blinked at this change of subject. “Who?” John ventured. 

“King! George King the Third! He was walking down a street in Boston with like fifty cats!” 

“No way,” Theodosia deadpanned. 

“Yes! It was so weird!” 

“Did you punch him?” Alex eagerly asked. 

“No. I crossed the street.” 

“Coward.”

“Shut up.”

The door jingled, and Madison and Jefferson walked in. They were able to see Jefferson regularly, due to his studying at Columbia, but none of them had seen Madison for a year, and a chorus of shouts greeted the two of them. 

“Madison! How was UCLA?” Lafayette asked. 

“I’m diseased,” Madison flatly answered.

Mulligan looked delightedly between Madison and Jefferson. “You two finally did it?”

“Gah!” yelled Alex, at the same time that Burr and Theodosia glared and said, “Child in the room.”

“Sit down,” John invited.

The two of them did, which surprised Alex. He had expected Jefferson to object. But then Jefferson began to taunt, “I ate the world’s largest slice of pizza.” 

Blood roared in Alex’s ears. “Liar.”

“Nope.”

Alex turned to John. “John! I have to eat that pizza!”

“We’ll discuss it.”

They spent a happy night with all of their friends, agreeing to meet up the next day. John and Alex began the walk back to Betsy’s house. The night was warm, the stars twinkling overhead. 

“I can’t believe you never liked Sprite,” John mumbled. 

“I may not have liked Sprite, but I liked you.”

John laughed. “I love you, Alex.” 

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well this was one hell of a wild ride.  
> if it's unclear, this is the last chapter! the curtain call! the last hurrah!  
> thanks for sticking with us throughout this whole thing. i think we're actually posting this last chapter fairly close to when we published the first one, which is funny.  
> so we'll let you in on a little secret: we've had this whole thing finished since may.  
> and we still made you guys wait.  
> muahahahahahaha  
> but seriously, thanks so much for your continued support and love. i've pretty much moved on from fanfiction and are working on our own original work, so hit me up for links to where i've posted it if you're interested!   
> ps. my tumblr is iinfiniteskies so hmu there too.  
> #shamelesspromo  
> catch you on the flip side, friendos.  
> -iinfiniteskies <3
> 
> I think iinfiniteskies summed it up pretty well. I'm very thankful to everyone that stuck with us, despite the fact that this kind of dragged on for much longer than it needed to, and we were pretty shitty at updating regularly. We're moving on from the world of fanfic, but we do have a lot of fiction. I'm on Inkkit as Way Out There and Fictionpress as M.Levi, and we have a joint account on Tapastic. We'd love it if you could check us out, and sorry for the shameless boosting.   
> We love you all! Thanks for sticking with us on this shitty rollercoaster of a fic.   
> -Way Out There


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